Jan 2 ~ Three Goals for the month

1. Travel ~ we planned a huge trip, long pending one and kind of like a bucket list thing. We leave hyderabad on 7th morning. Cannot wait.

2. Skin care ~ day and night routine. I have buggered my skin so badly, have battled adult acne for the last year and now have finally given up and am trying to have a more hygienic (wash face before bedtime) and moisturise routine.

3. Daily activity ~ Even tho I am going to be on holiday I need to keep up the walking and exercise routine. 

The place I've missed the most

Around August last year, when things in my life were topsy turvy, and Sage was having frequent seizures I became irregular at the gym. At first it was bunking a few days a week. By september, I had gone only 3-4 days in the entire month. In October, I decided to take a break for a few weeks and that kept getting extending indefinitely.

Each time I resolved to go back to the gym, something would happen and I wouldn't make it.

for a couple of months, I tried to eat healthy. And then the slipping began, first when I went to Goa on vacation in February. With nothing better to do, I spent all day deciding what to eat for the next meal in between a lot of beer. I ate till I could no longer move and told myself that I was on holiday and deserved to have fun. The first sign that I had gone overboard was that I could no longer jog on the beach. At best, I managed to amble and that too in small bursts.

On our way back, I promised to eat healthier and had one last meal of butter naan and greasy gravy. It was like I was tumbling down a slope and couldn't stop myself.

A few weeks ago, I gobbled a piece of rich chocolate cake even before I had my morning coffee. Telling myself it was early morning and I would burn it off...I knew I was lying to myself.

On monday night, I couldn't sleep till 2 AM. Thinking about how much time I had lost and as a result of it how much of my earlier strength and form. I was lamenting the fact that my tummy was again spilling over my waistband, and my thighs definitely had one extra layer of flubber. I am not body bashing, but I definitely did not feel as good as I did a few months ago about my body.

and then, something snapped. I had stopped setting the alarm on my phone. I grabbed it on monday night as I lay unable to sleep and set the alarm for 6 AM. Sage usually wakes me at 5.30-5.45 and I manage to pacify him and sleep a bit more till about 6.15, by the time we actually leave our house for the walk, it is 6.45 on most days. That had to change. I knew I would be getting hardly 4 hours sleep, but these were desperate times. 

I woke up, walked the dog, had two sips of coffee. Set out the coffee things for amma, and got dressed. With my heart thumping, I drove to the gym. The familiar walk up the stairs.....and the music playing....I wondered if I would have the courage to even begin all over again. My trainer looked at me with disbelief. I had been telling him all the while that I would come back one day and tho he was polite and encouraging, I don't think he quite believed what I said. 

I have gone back to perhaps where I started, but it fills me with so much happiness that my courage is back. Now to not take long breaks and just be consistent. 

Starting Over.... in the kitchen

A fresh brand new year.... a new start... a time to give thanks, make plans and be a little sincere about sticking to them. Atleast for a while.

I made no lofty resolutions this year. Much as I waited to usher in the new year, K and I had a couple of drinks, ate very oily Indian Chinese and got into bed by 11 pm. Sage was very restless due to the continuous stream of people in the building, noise of the lift and loud music. Like a nice middle aged couple, we slept, only to be woken up at 12 by Appa!

I started the New year with a brand new development at home. I fired my cook. To cut a long story short, too many excuses, inability to manage her other jobs and a complete disrespect for the many requests I have made to manage time better. At the end of a stalemate, what emerged was I was expected to (and as a result my household) adjust with her shoddiness. I was having none of this, I do not like being taken for granted and the last thing I will do in exchange for my fair treatment and goodness is being taken for a ride. Despite many requests and warnings, when for the nth time she chose to come late despite knowing her cut off time, I asked her to collect her dues and leave.

Those of you who read my blog will know that I miss my earlier cook Renuka terribly. While she wasn't the best cook, she was always smiling and very sincere. The current one, was my househelp and was a better cook. Only thing is after a while, it got too much for her to manage.

Anyways. I have now decided to take over the cooking in our large household of 2 people and a dog (that now eats commercial dog food instead of home made, due to his health condition). I will confess that I am nervous. I haven't cooked full time in over 5 years now. Initially, both K and I had 'regular' jobs and would take our lunches to work. Then I began to mostly stay home, although we did feed Sage home made roti. At the last count, we were using 3 times the amount of groceries, I was still eating 2-3 day old leftovers (what is it with maids never being able to cook smaller quantities of food?), K still eating his lunch from outside and I was anyway cooking dinner all these years. There was also a considerable wastage of cooked food and unused vegetables which would languish in the fridge. Not to mention the monotony of the dishes being churned out.

I am excitedly making a monthly menu to ensure both K and I do not get bored and that I am equipped to efficiently use the morning time. I hate spending unending time in the kitchen. I also cannot fathom spending more than an hour at best to cook a reasonably healthy and tasty meal for two people. I am hoping the planning will help me manage groceries, vegetables and time better. The fridge already looks super clean because there are no leftovers! So wish me luck!

the comfort of the known

Yesterday morning, I was determined to get my routine back on track. Can it even be called a routine if it changes almost daily? I don't know. But in my head, a morning workout (which essentially is me time) is a big part of it. After almost two weeks of absenteeism, I walked into the gym with a flutter in my heart. the flutter was because I was anxious to check if I would be able to do my old routine, or struggle. Each time I reach a decent level of stamina and fitness, something happens to throw me off the rails. Last time, derailment was due to viral fever epidemic at home, other stuff that made it impossible to carve out some time in the morning, Sage being ill. It came to such a point, that I thought I would never be able to go back to the gym.

It made me fret for the loss of my fitness, for the loss of my sweat! and for the loss of my me time.

see the thing is, despite the fact that the mirrors tell you there is so much work to be done, and the extra set of squats with weights that your trainer gives you threatens to kill you, it still is awesome to see you push yourself.

I never thought I would find pleasure in pain!

I resumed the gym, went back to my daily routine through the day, dragged myself to my dance class in the evening which btw was so much fun, and sank into bed at midnight, with the tiredness that only a well spent day can give you.

it was a fabulous day. I felt terrifically energised and more in control of the stuff that I was allowing to happen. I hope this spell lasts longer than the last lousy one!

have to go now, the kettlebells, they are waiting!

a year...

From groaning and finding every excuse in life, to getting cranky when I cannot leave on time, my attitude towards exercise is the most significant thing that has happened to me this past year. 

June makes a full year that I have lasted at the gym. I have never been this dedicated to anything besides my resolve when I wanted to get married!

One year, of not being able to touch my toes and now being able to hold the soles of my feet when I do stretches. One year, of panting like a dog at 30 skips and now being able to skip 100 times without stopping. a year of going from doing push ups on the wall because those were the easiest to do, to doing almost full pushups on the floor baby! (particularly proud of this). A year of not being able to even lift a 2 kilo weight to work out my arms, to being upset the day I don't work out with heavy weights. One year of being inconsistent and yet seeing the response from my body when I work out regularly. one year, of not giving a damn about who was younger/ slimmer / fitter than me.

one year, of agonising over two sets of gym clothes, wrestling sports bras and being unable to find a tee that doesn't show cleavage (in my case), waxing legs and scrubbing my feet clean (I workout barefooted).

I am not reed thin, because you haven't seen what I have not stopped putting on my plate.... but I am fitter than I ever was in life! 

I get a lot of "you have pulled down/ lost weight / slimmed down a lot". Makes me wonder how fat i was! 

the journey has not been easy. There are days when I think I will not be able to put another foot in front of the other as I do my forward lunges.... but I keep at it. The temptation of food and laziness and the sheer discouragement from everyone has been tremendous... but I am super proud of myself. 

there I said it! I am proud.... for sticking with it... for overcoming my guilt and getting my ass to the gym even when K told me I should not be selfish and spend time with him at 7 a.m on saturdays! for not caring about just my weight or that of other women around me... Of just realising, I am as young or as fit as I choose to be and I am solely responsible for my choices.....

In the past, I was a serial dieter... relying on cutting food to shed weight.... the day I realised weight loss and fitness are two different things, I was a better person!

Just hope this good sense stays with me.... 

Anxious is sometimes good

The hunt began three weeks ago. Amma is staying with me and one of the things on the agenda of this stay was to get her to the doctor who checks her eyes. If you have been reading this blog long enough, you will perhaps know, that Amma, rockstar amma is partially sighted. She has no vision in her right eye, after a series of glaucoma related issues, the optic nerve died and right now the eye is shrinking and may completely close in a few years. Amma thinks she looks like Lalita Pawar. But that's her sense of humour! and she has loads of it. Possibly the only way she has been able to deal with the hard knocks in life. 

her left eye, the "good" eye is now functioning with a 30% efficiency.This means, if you are an unfamiliar person and sitting more than 4 feet away, she cannot make out your face or features... you appear as a blob to her. This eye is what she manages with. Fiercely independent, she is a person about the house, wielding the knife with aplomb and cooking almost everyday. She scans through the papers with a magnifying glass, watches tv and goes about her normal stuff. She travels alone, although now only between cities where my brother lives and I do. she is also one of the neatest people I know and that's not because she is my mother! walk into her room 5 minutes after she wakes up and you will find a spotlessly made bed. When you meet her for the first time, and if you dont know the background, you would never guess she is partially sighted.

So why this ode to amma? when i started this post with a hunt? Last year, she had an unsuccessful cataract operation. Complications arose and the procedure, which is fairly simple, needed to be abandoned to save her leftover vision. The doctor gave her 6 months to get her nerves back and redo the operation. In the midst of all this, she came to visit and I insisted she stay for a longish period of time. 

We found a doctor who came highly recommended. Away from the world famous eye hospitals in hyderabad. We consulted with him, hoping he would be able to give us a breakthrough. A youngish doctor with thick fingers and a soft spoken demeanour. he had the patience to listen to amma and go through her case history. he then pushed his chair back, and asked "do you want me to be honest or popular?". I believe a good craftsman is someone who does not need to showcase his ego at every opportunity. a person who knows his skill, yet will do what is best for the situation. He very gently told amma that in her case, he does not see any need to get aggressive with her treatment. the approach needed to completely rest on preserving her existing vision. He told her quite frankly that her cataract was not going to be a show stopper and that any intervention on her eye would be done only when absolutely needed. The only thing he wanted was to review her periodically to keep a check on the state of the eye.

This was last year. This year, we went back to him for a check up. Hence the reference to the hunt. We were unable to meet him the day we went due to his ill health. He asked us to consult with another doctor, who also happens to be his wife. She took on a different stance. Telling us that an operation, tho complicated was possible under general anesthesia and that Amma shouldn't be defeated by her age! She negated every other earlier bit of advise. We came back with an anxiousness and a need to see the original doctor. 

I was wondering if he would also recommend surgery now. Considering one year had passed and that there could be some further developments in the state of her eye. Also, since one doctor of the fold had already advised that, would it be necessary to keep up the same stance?

It proved elusive to get to the doctor. First he was travelling for over a week. then his ridiculously inefficient and clueless support staff, scheduled and rescheduled appointments at will. Twice, we had a busy morning, mentally preparing amma, rescheduling the morning routine and just when she was dressed, we would be told that the doctor was unavailable. So when friends and family called to ask what happened and when the operation would take place, we had no clue. Am sure everyone questioned my credentials at having been unsuccessful at scheduling another appointment. On monday, I finally lost my marbles. On each of the three calls I made to the hospital, I yelled and threatened the person on the receiving end of the call. calling them inefficient and unprofessional, I recounted the blundering efficiency they had. Finally, we were scheduled to meet the doctor yesterday morning at 10.

up bright and early, we trekked down to the hospital. Finished the preliminary tests and waited and waited. Finally met the doctor who thoroughly checked amma again. She told him she was ready for surgery if he wanted to go ahead with it. He sat back, apologized for the previous inconveniences and told her he wasn't about to put her though an operation or any kind of procedure unless he thought it was absolutely needed. With that, i think i fell a little in love with a doctor who put his patient before his professional ego. It is so difficult to find someone like that.

We came out of the hospital relieved for having found a good doctor, who will not look at you like an invoice receivable. So the two weeks of anxiousness was actually good. While a lot of folks told us to look for another doctor, we waited.... 

Missing my main lady

I can almost imagine what it must be like for a farmer to watch his parched lands broken into cracks by the unflinchingly harsh sun. Through the months of March till the beginning of June, the sun is relentless. It the worst time of the year to get to know me. I am usually listless, nasty and downright moody. More than permissible levels. and I drink... through the summer... anything liquid... water, chilled buttermilk, cold coffee, and lots of beer. its the only way i can keep sane.

This summer has been different from the last few in a lot of ways. To begin with, it almost reduces me to tears every time I remember that Renuka, my faithful cook for the last 5 years has left me. She had to relocate to her native place to take better care of her alcoholic husband who put the entire burden of earning on her. She has almost 10 people to care for including her husband, 2 children from his deceased first wife and two of her own. the princely sum she was earning in the city working as a cook in as many as 4 houses was proving to be too less because of sky rocketing rents and costs of urban living. She had no option but to go back to the village where she has property and can therefore live rent free. She hugged me and said if she can come back she would first come to me. But her sobs were reserved for Sage. She wept into his fur, holding his head and kissing him. Renuka was irritated when we brought home a dog. within a few weeks, she was inseperable. Calling him her Sona baba, she would cuddle Sage and feed him morsels from her breakfast. Even giving him fruit and allowing him to rob potatoes from the vegetable stand. She would become a wall between him and me when I was annoyed with Sage and wanted to punish him. She made his jowar rotis and hand fed him on the days I left home for work really early. 

Most importantly, for the control freak that I am, it was a tough decision to give up the kitchen and its daily shenanigans to someone else. In a years time, Renuka would be the only one who sometimes knew how much rice we needed for the month! I relaxed a bit and gave over the daily running of the kitchen to her. She would keep track of groceries, vegetables and even stopped asking me what to cook each day. once a week the fridge would be cleaned and bottles washed and dried. In short, she sort of made her place indispensable. the only thing that remained status quo was her cooking. She made excellent rotis, and dal, idlies and podi and araichavitta sambhar and baghara rice... everything else was a hit or miss. some days i would grin and bear. some days smilingly tell her that the food was terrible. but her smiling demeanour and genuine love when she said "madam garam garam paratha kha lo" or "khana ready hai, please kha kar jayiye" was enough for me. And she was regular. No french leave for her. She would plan a twice a year week long trip to bombay to her sister's house and let me know well in advance. i would be annoyed, but by the time she was back, i would want to hug her!

In short, Renuka was too good to be true. the only thing that saddened me was her personal life. With a good for nothing husband, and sons who showed all signs of going the same route, she was the main earning member of a 10 person household which included daughter's in law and grandkids at the ripe age of 40. but she would always be hopeful of the future being good once her sons were done with college and started earning. So when she told me she was unsure of returning, or even if she did, it would be atleast 4 months, I could not say or do anything but to wish her well. tell her to forget about the dues she owed me and thank her for her love and food. 

When she sobbed into a bewildered Sage's fur, her only question was who will make his roti and feed him now?

I struggled for a month. With a long staying guest and amma being here, the mornings at home are once again stressful and chaotic. Amma tries to help. making sage's rotis, chipping in to help with cooking lunch or dinner. But I am impatient, and fastidious and want things done a certain way at a certain pace. So i prefer to do things myself. by 10 a.m i am crankier than the most terrible summer...

My maid stepped in and asked to do the cooking for the extra pay. I was more than happy because she is an excellent cook! We are still grappling with the timings and her getting overwhelmed at times with all the washing and swabbing in addition to the cooking.

I am missing the value Renuka added to my life... and I know that it was just not the cooking... it was everything else she brought with it..

Fitness update!

A few months ago, I began what was to be my last ditch attempt (or first) to get some fitness routine going in my life. I enrolled for what is called 'bootcamp' its a mild version of circuit training. We worked out barefoot in a small but airy gym and under the eagle eye of a size zero 7% body fat trainer. I loved waking up and working out. the routine changed almost everyday and I was very happy. A few of my friends too joined in and then dropped out. I needed the company. I felt a little more confident when they were around. But surprisingly, even when they stopped coming, I kept at it. 

The first month was great, I lost considerable inches everywhere, I was feeling great and everyone said I was losing weight. I was happy. Then I overate. At every meal. And I was ravenous.... I hid under the umbrella that I walked the dog 5-6 times a day and that I was burning calories in the gym, and that was a licence to eat...didn't help that my mother was in residence and would cook and feed me all sorts of things. 

I actually began to put on weight and increase fat. I was depressed. I also developed a knee strain, ignored it a bit and went to the doctor when i could barely walk. The verdict of the doctor "no more jumping and knee impacting exercise, total rest till the knee healed, he couldn't find anything else that was wrong cos I didn't have the usual symptoms of knee injury and oh, i had to lose a lot of weight"

I was depressed and moping for 4 days exactly. I assume I was quite horrid to live with. But K does not do pity (that pisses me off... but that's another post).

So i spoke to my trainer and signed up for personal training. For the first month, we did nothing, just some less intense workouts and slow and steady was the word. I am impatient and hey, I had given this thing almost 5 months of my life. 

Everyone in my life had a mantra "the gym routine is not working - quit" the more i heard that or versions of it, the more adamant i became. I don't give up easy... no sir...

So, I set a deadline for me and the trainer, decided on a fitness goal, told him no matter what he made me do, i wont whine or complain. and started a tough diet. the diet is in direct contrast to what most people are used to eating. The first meal of the day is to be had 12-13 hrs after your last one.. which is ok... since i eat dinner at around 8, i can hold on till 10 a.m the next day, i do have coffee first thing in the morning tho.... lunch is moderate and dinner is the largest and heaviest meal of the day with a huge salad, protein element and a load of carbs. I freaked out when i saw the diet... just goes against the grain of regular meals. but I had nothing to lose... after a month of doing it, not very strictly tho, I have some success to show for it.

My metabolic rate has increased (which is what the diet does), fat has decreased, muscle mass has increased and I've had inch loss baby! yeah! all that hard work is finally paying off....

the thing is... when you build muscle and lose fat, weight actually increases....cos a pound of fat weighs less than a pound of muscle... so i know the weighing scale wont go down. 

however, it is the measuring tape and the other numbers that tell another picture. 

I had to have some clothes altered by an inch cos they were too loose. I wore a 7 yr old dress (why yes, I am a hoarder... how did you know?) and people are telling me that i look thinner... not the "oh my god what are you doing?" but "hey, you have really lost weight"

so, that's a good thing right? 

I'm going to be very strict and clean in my diet for the next 3 weeks. Because I cheated quite a bit this past month. Wish me luck

The thing is, I am happy I am doing this for myself... I used to pant like a dog to do 30 seconds of skipping, my endurance has increased so much now... I can skip, do push ups, squats and am super proud of the weights am lifting. So all is not measured on the weighing scales right? I thought so too....

in the next gear

its been a good five months that i began a fitness regimen. it started with going to a gym which you may recall i wrote about here... and being more conscious about what i eat and just being regular with exercise.

the first month, my mother was here... i was eating enough for two including rice at two meals, ghee and a lot of rubbish. amazingly, inches peeled off. i lost enough in that first month to keep me motivated and for people to take notice. I was happy.

Alas that wasnt enough! five months down, am at the same place. yes, people i meet still comment that i have lost weight or slimmed down as they put it... but i dont feel like the five months have borne fruit.

to be fair, i have had a bum knee... some stiffness which made me take a 15 day break and go back to a less intense routine. so there is no more jumping and skipping but a lot of core strength building exercises. and so with the workouts being less intense and the changed time, i have not been as enthused as i was earlier.

for one, the changed timing is just messing my entire day's schedule. i cant eat before the gym, and by the time i am done, am so famished, it takes me an hour to recover. I havent been sleeping enough. no day do i sleep more than 5.5 hours... which is simply not enough.... am writing a food diary and i am so conscious of every morsel of food now... that has'nt really helped.

did the assessment today at the gym. marginally lost a kilo and less than an inch on my waist.

this is simply not enough for me. I need to see better progress. I need better RoI for me to stay focussed and committed. I had a pow wow  with my trainer on this. I gave him (and myself) an ultimatum of 8 weeks, the end of this year...

i want to have visible changes in my appearance, of the good kinds...

so today we kickstarted an intense regimen and a very very strict diet plan which is similar to the paleo. no grains, flour or sugar of any kind, no milk, restricted dairy. carbs from vegetables lots of protein. the diet... is scary... but at this point, its the only thing that i think will work.

cheer me on... 8 weeks is all i have!

Midweek

Dates, i can hardly tell, now even days i am unable to tell without looking at the phone calendar. What is wrong with me? this morning i mentioned to my friend D that it felt like friday... she said... no... its the perfectly midweek kind of day! i have to agree, i was so cranky when i woke up this morning.... rudely pawed by the Dawg and barked at when i took a few minutes to get out of bed!

after yesterday's break, i was back in the gym, finished my workout with some slight routine changes to ensure i didn't go catch something else! i loved the sweating and the routine... what started as a grumpy morning for god only knows what reason, transformed into a lovely day in the company of two of my girlfriends at the gym. The morning was so gorgeous... cool breeze blowing and the sky changing colours ever so gently. the peacocks in the nearby botanical gardens making that squawking kind of noise...

I got home, drank a mug of milk (puke!) then downed some much needed coffee! felt like a human being after that. I cant believe i have almost given up my morning coffee. I wouldn't be human before I had caffeine in my bloodstream. now all I can think of is to walk the dog, eat my fruit snack, drink water and rush off to the gym.

There's stuff to be done however... no basking in the balcony enjoying the morning sunshine and reading the papers.... cooking to be supervised, dog to be fed and then bathed and some random phone calls to attend before i can wolf down some idlis with some tomato chutney.

That done, i have to go buy some sofa upholstery material. I got this expensive sofa from a premium store in hyderabad. they charged me a bomb telling me it will be made of teak, turns out they are bastard cheaters and the whole effing thing is made of plywood. to add insult to injury, the cushion has gotten all squashed up in less than 6 months. I am so mad, but there is little i can do about it. So i did the next best thing, called my upholstery guy and asked him to repair the piece of shit.

So midweek has been a day of taking stock of my stuff..... I need to spring clean again. there are giant mounds of paper in each drawer i opened today. how was your week so far?

Today.......

I skipped the gym today to rest my hip sprain. Am well but for a little soreness. I did miss the gym and my routine, will go back tomorrow. My instructor has said he will change my routine to ensure my back is not under strain. I told you i found the right place.

As I walked Sage this evening, I met a friend / neighbour.... she mentioned that I'd lost some weight. She didnt know (yet) that i was gymming! She said, my cheeks have gone down! oh sweet words!

I finally finished the june photo challenge. I'm posting both on the picture blog and facebook. so check it out. i laboured over it... though i did take pictures on the designated day, i didnt post them and that took a large part of 3 hours today... such a pain! I started the one for july. I plan to do it in instagram this time. so that i can post directly from the phone.

Amma lost a friend today. She was 10 years younger than her, first her student and then became a colleague. They were part of a large retired friends group and they would meet each time Amma was in town for lunch. I drove her to the house to pay our condolences. K and I know her son and his cousin is married to K's closest friend... so 6 degrees of seperation... I felt very sad.... for a life that was taken so suddenly. brings back sad memories and tells you how fickle life is....

Catch

The weather these days is so good, even the afternoons feel great...

this morning, i went off to the gym as usual...finished my routine, and just as i was completing the last set, my body veered off-centre and i had a muscle pull in my hip... i had a sharp pain shooting through my left side and my first thought was i hope i havent effed my prolapsed disc... 

i was made to lie down on a rubber mattress with an exercise ball under my legs. I lay there feeling bad for my friends who were so worried around me and the gym instructor, who i think had his BP shoot up a bit. I assured them i was fine... after about 5 minutes, i forced myself to get up, finished some hand and upper body stretches and drove back home.

Was in a lot of pain. My cook, Renuka is an excellent masseur. She can get a neck sprain out of your system in 5 minutes. So she massaged my back/ hip and i took a hot shower, felt a lot of relief. Rested almost the entire day in bed, without a pillow. its almost 9.40 p.m now, and but for a little soreness, the sprain / pull/ catch whatever it was is gone. I think I will skip the gym tomorrow just to play safe....

Sage somehow knows that I am not 100% ok. He has eaten his meals without bothering me too much and didnt even pull on the leash when i walked him this evening. 

is it just me, or do sunday's leftovers taste better when eaten for lunch on monday? how was your start of the week?

Huffing and Puffing

I seem to have finally found a gym I like. It is small, it has wide open windows and there is no residual smell that makes you sick in a regular gym. I also found a trainer who actually has a well toned body and not one of those protein shake fed bulging muscles. In my (very limited I will admit) experience with gyms and instructors, I will tell you that the overly built ones rarely have any real knowledge of fitness and will have little or no flexibility or skill themselves. So for the longest time, I detested going to gyms because I knew more about fitness and nutrition than those instructors, and I couldn’t suffer their presence or worse still their advice. 

I digress. Its been about 2 weeks. I haven’t gone everyday but this week my target is to go all 6 days of the week. I’ve joined what is called boot camp, its like circuit training. The guy who runs the gym is the one I am quite impressed with. He knows his stuff, is very observant which automatically means that he will watch and then correct you if posture etc is wrong, can improvise exercises on the spot to accommodate your specific needs or level of fitness and knows when to encourage, insist and let go. In short, I should just sing hallelujah!

Yet, last Saturday had me terribly depressed and on the verge of tears coming on so strong that I almost couldn’t finish my routine. No, it was not the sight of me huffing and puffing about in the mirrors, the lack of trendy gym clothes or the fact that I am sleeping an average of 5 hrs a day and not really minding it. I thought I was doing just fine and for the first time, my focus is only on being regular. I have no ambitious plans... in fact I keep telling myself that any activity is better than nothing at all. 

They did a body analysis at the gym. You know, they take your vital statistics and tell you how much muscle (or the lack of it in my case) is in your body and what are the areas that contain adipose. How much is your basal metabolism etc and the most difficult part for me, what is the physical age of your body. It was 2 decades more than my chronological age. If that doesn't get you depressed, then you must be Deepak Chopra!

I couldn't continue my routine without telling myself that I needed to finish the workout. All the time picturing a 50 yr old me. And it wasn't pretty.... I came home and told K and he immediately said that unless the trainer messed (he used the f word) with my head, he couldn’t control it and hence wouldn’t be able to get to me. If he couldn’t do that, he wouldn’t be able to make me go to the gym day after day…. This in turn would come in the way of any fitness goals that were set up. It made sense. But sometimes you just need to wallow in self pity to be able to shrug it all off. 

I just told myself that I cannot begin to judge myself and act all cranky. I will focus on small goals which will end weekly. For this week, my goal was to workout all 6 days and not alternate days like I did last week. I am on Friday now and I am happy to report that I didn’t have to drag myself. I went willingly and am enjoying it. I am going to reward myself for every weekly goal that I achieve.

I’ve never been very slim, but I have been atleast 10 kilos lesser than what I am today. I used to be fitter when I was younger, but that is the gift of youth and metabolism! Also, I do understand that I will never be able to look like I was at 24, and who am I trying to cheat? I looked like shit then. I realise now that fitness is the goal and not weight loss. And it is about time I committed to treating my body better. Food is actually not a pain point as we have that mostly sorted. Most meals are freshly made, with choicest of ingredients, less oil and spices. binge eating is non existent, we practically have no snacks other than fruit lying around and we try and keep the consumption of heavy meals to the afternoons about once or twice a month. K's   amazing weightloss last year, taught me all of this anyway. it was just the question of being regular... i have the 3 day syndrome... i usually give up after 3 days of anything!

How to I feel after 2 weeks?

Actually quite happy that I found a routine I like.

Happy that I found a gym partner who is a woman. I have nothing against working out with a male gym buddy, but somehow, a woman gets you better….

Amazingly, I feel more energized and don’t want to drop dead at 9 P.M like I used to. I used to scoff at every one who pedaled exercise when they said they feel energetic and active. I admit I am eating humble pie.

I had a pain free period for the first time in 5 years and I worked out through it with no problems. I am usually like this, debilated with pain and cramps and want to only stay in bed with a hot water bottle. To have a period without swallowing a painkiller has been amazing! If only for this reason, I hope I don’t give this up.

Figuring out that if I don’t care for my body it will stop caring for me, and then that isn’t a nice thing to live with is the key for me. I must say that Sage had a huge part to play in this whole thing. Before we got him, I loathed waking up before 7 a.m. now that is a non issue, and so following a morning routine isn’t so difficult anymore….

the truth about having a dog

Warning - this is a really long post

its been 7 months since we got Sage home. He's gone from this....

to this

there are a lot of things he's brought into our life. Apart from endless unconditional love there is also an unending amount of dog hair on every possible thing at home, from the furniture to the vessels in the kitchen. I meet different people while i walk him about 5 times a day and invariably someone or the other will gush about how much they want to get a dog too and ask for the how, what, where and how-much details. So there are a few things i want to talk about here.

• be prepared for a lot of hard-work. combine it with patience if you can. a dog, especially when it is a puppy is a lot of hard-work. Most breeders will give you a puppy at about 28 days. trust me, this is too early. mark your choice, pay an advance (if buying one) and wait till the pup is atleast 8 weeks old. they are too young to be separated from the mother and litter at 4 weeks. 
• the hard-work continues till the puppy is about 4 months old or more. this means that you will be feeding the pup every 4 hours, yes you will set the alarm and wake up in the middle of the night, either to feed it, or clean up its pee and poop, or to soothe a crying / whining pup. 
• be prepared with a spray can of diluted liquid soap, diluted solution of savlon and a lot of paper towels. I found kitchen towels to be very convenient and better than newspaper, cloth or toilet rolls to clean up after the puppy. 
• don't take the puppy for a walk till all immunizations are done - about 4 months. they tend to sniff and put anything into their mouths and they are susceptible to infections and worse still, the fatal hepatitis. 
• your puppy has only you. if you are working full time and leave the house locked for 8 hrs a day or more, your pup will be terribly lonely and get destructive. and remember they are pack animals. if you dont have the time to spend with it in its care and upkeep, no matter how cute the dog is (all puppies regardless of their pedigree are heartmeltingly cute) dont succumb and bring one home. it is insanely cruel to keep a pup locked up and alone that long. the result will be a very cranky, destructive and difficult to control pooch. this means at the end of a tiring day at work, you will really want to tear your hair out and give back the pup. just take my word for this. 
• be prepared to walk / exercise your dog atleast three times a day. if you dont have the additional 2 hours this is going to take, please dont bring home a dog. dont expect good behaviour from a dog that has been shut in a house the whole day devoid of any channel to drain its pent up energy. they get very destructive. 
• forget your social life till you have trained your pup to 
• not jump on people
• stay home alone for a few hours if you need to go out etc. 
• this takes atleast 2 months
• start leaving the pup alone for small periods of time, with water and a few toys starting the week after you get him/her. i did this initially for 10-15 minute intervals the week after we got sage. increasing the time by 30 minutes each time you leave it. At 5 months, i was able to leave Sage home alone for 8 hours without having any kind of mess or destruction at home. this may differ with the breed, i have a golden which is generally easier to train as they love to please their master/mistress. leaving the dog alone is possible only after they are potty trained, either to wait till you get back or use a spare bathroom. whichever you choose, train consistently, reward, praise and be prepared for the occassional unavoidable accident.
• regardless of what people tell you, getting a dog is akin to getting a baby home. sleepless nights, anxiety, tiredness and equal amounts of joy and love. 
• its socially more acceptable to take a baby everywhere you go but not a pet, so be prepared to confine your pet for a small period of time when you have guests who aren't comfortable around a pet. Always tell people you have a pet at home and check comfort levels. I always leash Sage up where he can see me for about 15 minutes till everyone has settled, or when we are eating. i then leave him, but have an eye on him at all times, especially if there are children around. if you have to entertain people who are just not comfortable with a pet around, entertain them outside. its punishment for the dog to be chained/ confined for long periods of time for no fault of theirs. 
• Always have the pet on a leash or have a hand on his collar when kids are interacting with it. if you have an unfriendly dog, tell people. Kids have a way of irritating dogs, either intentionally or unintentionally. Dogs don't like excessive petting and forget about pulling body parts or poking them. they will retaliate, and most people especially people will automatically blame the dog even if he's not at fault. so its better to be safe than sorry.
• housekeeping wont be the same. you can kiss your impeccably kept house goodbye, unless you have round the clock help who can keep surfaces hair free. also some dogs are slobber fest, so be prepared for wet and dry dog saliva on your upholstery, clothes etc. i have dog hair all over my clothes, bed, sofa, cushions and even on vessels. ofcourse i have a hairy dog, but regardless of what any breeder tells you, there is no such thing as a non shedding dog. be sure to dust everyday, change bedsheets and table cloths often, rinse your washing machine after every cycle so that residual hair doesnt get into other stuff, rinse every vessel/ crockery/cutlery before using and just suck it up and bear if you find hair in stuff like your cosmetics!
• travel will be hit bigtime. till your dog is atleast 8 months old, you can forget about travelling unless you have someone who can watch/keep him. this someone has to be a person who is competent enough to handle the dog, has the time and energy to do it and most importantly, the dog is comfortable with. i have found a dog hostel and plan to leave sage there for a few hours a week even if i am not going anywhere to get him used to the place so that i can leave him there for a few days when i need to begin travelling again. 
• its expensive to keep a dog. the food (mine is fed homemade, so account for the time and energy), medical expenses and toys and grooming products are expensive. there is limitless choice for everything, but even the most frugal spending will amount to about 1.5k per month. be prepared. toys are addictive and expensive, but i've found my dog prefers empty bottles and empty coconut shells over anything else. 

a lot of what i have written here i am experiencing for the first time although Sage is not my first dog. i grew up with dogs and cats and hens and chickens. but i lived in an independent house with a lot of space for the multiple dogs we always had to run about. we never had to walk the dog or exercise them as they got it all by playing with the other dogs. We also always had someone to care for the dogs when we traveled. this is the first time i am raising a large dog in an apartment. this means a lot more work for both you and the dog. exercise and walks are non negotiable. if you arent able to drain the energy of the dog, no amount of punishment will stop destructive behaviour.

Why am i painting such a grim picture?

Its not a grim picture, its the truth. I am always amused by people who want to bring home a dog because the pup is cute. remember they will look like a little teddy bear for just 3-4 weeks. when the hardwork and effort of keeping a pet is realised, most people turn angry and frustrated. Its unfair on the dog.

the bright side?

the brightest part of everything is the dog which will love you like no other living thing on this earth can - not even your spouse or significant other. 

the welcome you get when you walk through the door, even if you have left for 5 mins only is unlike anything else. that in itself is enough incentive to get one.

you will be forced to keep a schedule for feed and walk times, this helps if you are a lazy ass like me. i've lost 4 kilos over the last 7 months doing nothing more than walking sage and playing with him. i think i eat a lot more than i did before.

you make friends with people. my friends are as young as 7 month old babies who gurgle in delight when they spot Sage to 70+ people who stop to pet him and talk to me.

pets are an amazing stress buster. ask K he will tell you. they take away your tiredness and irritation at the end of the day.

it makes you less selfish and more conscious of other's needs. because regardless of how tired or stressed you are, you are greeted and treated with so much love, sometimes it makes you want to cry. it also means that you are forced to care for the upkeep of another living thing, share your living space with it and realize that the most expensive things you posses are just that - things... sometimes they get chewed!

I'm more in love with dogs than people.... i would love for everyone to have atleast one in their lifetime... but make no mistake, with great unconditional love of the dog comes great commitment and responsibility too. so choose wisely and know love like you've never experienced it ever. 

and here's a video of Sage, full grown and playing with Gangaram, our maintenance incharge at the apartment. 

Sage sends his woofs!

Period Pains

again an unintended blog hiatus. a lot has happened. we went on a beautiful holiday to bhutan, K's family moved back lock stock and barrel and in a few days, mine will be here to spend easter. Bhutan was gorgeous... for some pictures, head over to the cooking blog. K's parents moved back to hyderabad finally after 8 years of  subtle and not so subtle brain washing.

I am typing this from my bed. am lying on my back, propped up with pillows, with a hot water bottle under my back. its that time of the month for me and today i had such a miserable morning. a few years ago, i didnt even notice when my periods came and went. all that has changed the last few years. this particular period has been very difficult. i couldnt wake up at my usual time this morning because of my discomfort and only waited for K and the maids to leave to get back into bed and rest through the crazy cramps. while i am grateful that i can take the day easy and rest this off, i feel so terrible for women who do not have this luxury. 

i am also grateful that i dont have a family that treats me like a pariah when i have my period. i have a neighbour living on the 3rd floor of our building and their balcony faces ours. each month, i see the young daughter in law, sitting during the day on the floor of the balcony and at nights, sleeping just inside the doorway. i wonder how she feels that something so personal is out for public view quite literally in her case. And while i understand the whole spiel that it is intended for rest to the woman etc, why cant she rest in her own bed/ room and the comfort of her home and not be isolated on the balcony? what if she wants to lounge about and watch tv? we once shared a maid with these neighbours and they asked her not to come work when she was having her period. the maid was more than happy since she could get off easily and drew the line when they refused to pay her for those days. her stance was that she was ready to come and work, they refused and so they had to pay her. she was not willingly dodging work here so she was entitled for her pay. i agreed with her.

infact, i think it is a time when i do appreciate the rest and all. and i do rest "if i need to". but i would hate to be treated like a leper. i would hate to be isolated and then told that it was for my own good. and served food like an untouchable.

most indians, follow some kind of ceremony to celebrate / mark the first period of a girl. even in our predominantly christian household, the hindu influence was unmistakable. i knew exactly what was happening to me and had my mom to talk to. I hated the morning ritual of swallowing a whole raw egg with sesame oil, said to strengthen the back and general health. and refused to do continue with the raw egg swallowing after 2 days, my mom too didnt force me since she was scared i would puke on the floor! apart from that, there were no restrictions and life was as usual. i was not very comfortable with the whole ceremony that happened at the end of the 5 days. but since we lived in a quasi joint family with my uncle and cousins next door, and every celebration from a birthday to an anniversary was celebrated with the same set of 2-3 families, we had a celebratory lunch. i did find it very embarrassing, but in about 10 minutes i was quite happy to be fussed about and we had a prayer, i was blessed and then the shower of some nice gifts happened. i also remember being insanely jealous when my cousin had her period because her family was richer and had a huge ceremony with 100 people and she had a gorgeous saree. i didnt for once wonder if she was jealous of me since her period was announced to the whole world. I do know that i wouldnt do it to any girl i know. infact when my niece recently started hers, i just talked to her about hygiene and left it at that. i didnt think she could handle anything more than that....

the whole flowers and fruit and clothes and gold routine, is very indian / hindu and i remember being told by my aunt to not go near the church altar for communion if i was having my period. very similar to the do not enter the temple ritual. i realised it was absurd and the same god i worshipped had made me, periods and all and unless i was dying with cramps or discomfort during which i would generally avoid stuff that made me more uncomfortable, i would not follow  these silly rules. infact no one needs to know i am having my period. its my business and what you dont know wont hurt you. so if any of you have this no touching business or no enterring the kitchen stuff, i am sorry, i may have violated your rules. i have been to temples, poojas and churches when i have had my period and will continue to do so. what you do need to be particular about is only two things, hygiene and comfort. 

life moved on as usual with the next period. infact i can vouch that i used it as an excuse when it suited me, to run errands and do stuff rather than have my family isolate me. even today, i use pms as an excuse when i know i have been unreasonable, K is the only one at the receiving end. 

in school i remember girls being embarrassed when they missed school and ashamed of themselves if they stained their uniforms and it being treated like a major catastrophe. i couldnt understand why we needed to be ashamed of something that one, is totally normal and natural and two,beyond our control. oh and the embarrassment of buying a sanitary pad. i had that too, sending out my mom when i needed it, mostly because there was an idiot in the store who used to be lecherous. i found a way out by buying my stuff at the supermarket, always stocking up so i can avoid emergency runs. the last thing you want to do when the hormones are making you crazy, and the cramps are making you nauseous, is to be caught without the comfort of a sanitary pad/ tampon. my years in a hostel refreshingly exposed me to girls who would matter of fact ask if you had extra sanitary pads, cos they ran out. if i do send K out to buy them for me, he will drive me and the store guy nuts with calls to ensure i have the right brand/ specifics and he doesnt make a wrong purchase and add to my discomfort. infact he apologizes that he cant share the discomfort with me. is ever willing to wake up in the night to get me a hot water bottle, tablet if i need one. i think concern and consideration beats any explanation that is given to force isolation on menstruating women. but like all things that have lasted past their prime, we are made to think that these practices are for our own good and due to our lack of ability to spot a good thing when we see it, we call it useless.

i realise that i was fortunate enough to develop my own sense about my periods and menstruating and i could practice what suited me and comforted me best. this isnt the case with every woman even today. there is no dearth of people and practices that continue to make us feel different in a not so nice way. every opportunity including a period which is the most natural thing to happen, is used to make the woman feel like it is a curse and her secret to be kept covered lest anyone knows of it, and yet is made to live the life of a pariah in varying degrees, not based on her comfort, but on the permissiveness of the family she lives with. makes me sad and angry at the same time.

Soup ki Rani, Calories ka Raja

That would be the title of the movie made on the current life we live. For those of you who know us for real. K had undertaken an incredible journey of weightloss some 100 days ago and what he has achieved has been phenomenal. With determination and discipline, he's reached his goal. 

he's eaten smart. exercised hard and gotten where he wanted to. the badminton 6 times a week continues as does the gym even tho he's reached his weight goals. what has aided is the way we've been eating!  I have learnt as much as i can about planning dinner to provide enough nutrition without being heavy on carbohydrates. 

salads have made a huge comeback into our lives. With salad adding bulk and fiber to even packed lunches that he now carries to office. i too have been compelled to eat smarter and have lost a few kilos in the bargain. i have another 8 weeks to reach my ideal weight and i think with this discipline i should be on track. K kicking me out of the house and the reminding me of the money we paid for the gym membership is definitely helping me get off my behind and onto the cross trainer.

just changing our dinner pattern has made such a huge difference to the whole weight loss initiative. about 1/3 of our intake is now from fresh fruit which is a good thing anyways. there's a blanket ban on calorie heavy food after 7.30 p.m and so i have literally morphed into a treasure trove of assorted soups. clear thai soup one day, lemon and coriander the other and even pumpkin and sweet potato.

so yeah, if i needed a movie title for our current life, it would have have to be called "Soup ki Rani, Calories ka Raja"

fabulous progress

am happy to report, that K has gone and outdone himself and silenced me about any doubts i had about him and focus. when we went to the gym after a month last week, the trainers all lined up and one even asked if he'd had liposuction! ofcourse i felt like cracking (the trainer's) skull, after all the hard work and sweat he'd shed, but it was also a victory for K. I remember when he first joined, they crowded around him to give him gyan.... first he shocked them with his stamina and then with his weight loss... it was like a kick in the teeth... me? well lets just say i went back to the start point! but the main thing is what he's been able to achieve! love you k man.. you showed me that i was so wrong...and i now know that if you make up your mind about anything, no matter what, you will achieve it.

fitness update

a few posts ago, i wrote about K and me taking the fitness plunge....lets just say that i have played truant for more than a month...managing just a few days of free hand exercises and some yoga... but overall have lost about 4kgs and put back 1 on cos of all the feasting (with guests at home its tough to convince them why the host is going to eat salad!). so instead of whipping myself about slacking off, i am reaffirming, rescheduling my goals and moving on ahead....

but i came here to document K's awesome determination, hardwork and results.... he did the math...and he has the determination of a nazi.... gym may not have been such  a regular feature this past month, but badminton is...and he is playing 5 times a week.... he's lost what i can say are results only slimming centres can give you! and i am amazed! in awe and with respect for anyone who can stay that focussed.... yes ...even my husband...cos we always look at the flaws...he stumped me! yet again. I've known him half of my life, and i am still shocked....i never thought he'd get this far! he's inspired me totally now! and i think it just reinforced what i wrote in the last post about me not getting thru many points in life if he wasnt by my side!

ok...this was supposed to not be mushy! so i shall stop...cant wait to head over to the balcony where my now much lighter husband awaits me groggy eyed! have a lovely day you all.

people in your life

do you believe that the people in your life are there for a reason? and so is the case with the ones that aren't there are also there for a reason? I do...

I've been thinking a lot of the people in my life...the ones that are still there, some I've grown closer to, some I've kept at arm's length. Some have amazed me by what they can do with their lives, taught me lessons on how to follow your heart and be brave....some have taught me the same lessons with examples of what not to do....

i told K this morning that i would have broken in mind and spirit many times in life, if he wasn't by my side. and today was one of the days when i truly thanked god for his presence..... he's been my pillar of strength, my fiercest ally and most honest critic. there are times when only he has the balls to tell it like it is and although at that moment i may feel like crushing his head, i'd not have it any other way!

the friends who call me beautiful when i want to cry after getting onto the weighing scales, the ones who tell me i can do anything i ever want to .... the ones who encourage me, silently and with gentle chiding.... the ones who will grow old with me and always be there in my life no matter which part of the world we live in....

the ones who with their nastiness and highhandedness made me rejoice that i am not them....the ones who taught me how great it is to be humble, which doesnt necessarily mean that you are a doormat, the ones who have made me thank my upbringing and everything else that doesnt make me fake or false....

the ones who have truly earned my admiration and respect, the ones who lost it because their masks fell, they all make my life richer...thank you!

fitness quest update

A few posts ago, i blogged about how K and I are going to the gym these days. We slacked off for a whole week but are back on track now. By slacking off i do not mean bingeing as well. Cos that would be like suicide. (except one meal....my friend's mom who is a fab cook is in town and we got invited to dinner...traditional indian food is very carb rich and the food was great and it would have been rude to not eat appreciatively, so i think i downed a lot of calories that night) its pretty tough to overeat or eat stuff that's positively fattening once you know how long you will have to be on the damned treadmill to pay for that! 

with all of this, i think the weighing scale hates me, cos i cant see much of a change there....but i can tell that my face is losing flab, little by little. and of course i famously declared that i am wearing one size smaller clothes... so that's incentive enough!

so from a measely beginning of 10 minutes on the treadmill with a speed level of 4, i can now do a full hour at speeds between 6-7. which is pretty good... but am soon tired of the walk to go nowhere routine and cant watch tv minus the volume and so i have taken to browsing through a magazine...the pictures is all that i am interested in anyways in a film periodical. i find that it takes my mind away from the ticking (very slowly) timer and the calorie counter. K does the elliptical cross trainer. he is on it for an hour and kept telling me to read up and that it burns more calories per minute compared to the treadmill. 

the elliptical is a strangely scary machine. for one, climbing onto it is like getting on to a ledge of an awkward height. and the handle bars make me feel like i am going to keel over and fall. also its all about rhythm and timing. if you dont get that right, it can be a very awkward stance...i know since i watch the ones who use it. K is a little over 6 ft tall, i am a foot shorter, so the logistics just scared me....

Since the last few days, i have begun to exercise on the elliptical. i was right about the rhythm and timing thing. It is essential to work out on this. i began with a very laborious 10 mins at a resistence of 2. then i realised that a resistence of 6 or 7 (may differ from person to person) makes it easier to get the timing right. on the elliptical it isnt about how fast you can go anyway. it definitely helps burn more calories. i find that i am burning 50% more than the treadmill in the same amount of time. today i did 30 mins. Here too the trick is to visually divert your attention away from the ticking timer and calorie counter. the machines in my gym have a narrow niche to hold a newspaper or a mag and i am making full use of it. Today was all about the most powerful people in bollywood. i am ready for my pop quiz now!

K keeps telling me he is very bored of the gym...the close confines, the stale air (no matter how much room freshner is sprayed) and the boredom that eventually sets in once you are in a routine. So he's signed up for badminton with a guy friend in addition to the gym. 3 times a week for an hour. there's a world class badminton court near home and he's going there. I am not a very sporty person, so will stick to the gym till i can possibly start swimming or something. i need to find a good pool closer home.

Some sharing and encouragement for all those wanting to hit the gym or begin any kind of exercise.

the first 3-4 days are the toughest. but you will get over it and you will begin to like it once you can see the progress. i am actually more motivated than ever and if i can be a convert, anyone can! i was scared to lower myself onto the pot for the first 3 days. once i sat, i didnt want to get up. a hot shower helps, as does good sleep and moderate speeds and time spent working out.

wear comfortable shoes and clothes. i see women in cotton churidar pants which are uncomfortable to even sit cross legged in. the knitted ones are better, if you dont want to wear track pants. find the most comfortable way to lace your shoes, allow room for the toes, tighter around the middle and not very tight where you lace them up. wrong lacing up can leave you feeling very uncomfortable and give you sprains and injuries. 

for a woman - wear a sports bra. its important even if you arent very busty. not only is it unhealthy for you to not wear a proper supportive one, but its embarrassing to see women bouncing around when they are exercising. Remember that your breast tissues are one of the most delicate, you will be losing weight (will affect the size of your boobs very soon) and hence they need all the support you can give. Puma has good ones, so does reebok. get a proper fitting one and do yourself a favour.

body odour alert. Everyone will sweat in the gym, just ensure you dont add to the stink. use deodorant liberally. there are products available for sport or active lifestyle...these are a good choice. if you can manage, bathe both before and after. i go to the gym in the morning and find that showering the previous night, before bedtime helps keep me fresh. i was on the treadmill today next to a guy who was stinking from a mile. i had to get off and use another machine at the farthest end from him. he also gave me an awful headache. 

dont be intimidated by all the hunks and babes that come to the gym...if its taken you a few years to put on weight, give yourself atleast a few months to see it go.

respect your body and so do not over exercise. start with a pace and time that suits you. do not aim to do as much as a guy who has been working out for months or years. start small, but your aim each day should be to progress a little more than the previous day. be firm when the over enthu coach or fitness instructor tells you to do more if you are tired. rest when you are tired and out of breath and sip water slowly. 

watch what you are eating. once you begin to count everything in terms of time spent chained to the treadmill, you will soon realise how much to eat for need and how much for greed!

ok, i think this post has turned out longer than i wanted it to be. so long then.