Wednesday, August 31, 2011

the year of gratefulness and its only the end of august

i began this year with a lot of misgivings. i was so glad to see the past year end. i was so sick that its not even funny. and i lost my funny bone some would say. all i gained is weight and grey hair!

but this year has not disappointed me. it has overwhelmed me with the love of my most precious and gifts in kind. i got most of the things i've been hankering after this year. a makeover for the house, a car and now a pup. they continue. today my brother gave me the latest phone for no reason. he just got one for me and sent it thru a colleague. i am blessed. and grateful. and as of now... my cup overfloweth. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

how long will this last?

i havent looked in the mirror for a week now. which means counting the grey hairs at my temple has not happened. i have also not looked and found fine lines (which advertisements for anti ageing creams have shown me where to find) on my forehead. 

Sage has decided to give me a refresher of an education in living i think. I had forgotten that the pooch wont mind what you are wearing or if you havent waxed and threaded in 3 months, or that you wore your holey pyjamas or what you smell like at the end of a long day. 

he follows me around like mary's little lamb the whole day. am trying to banish him from the kitchen when i'm cooking as i dont want a beggar dog, but he's currently taken to lounging under the kitchen sink till i am done. something tells me he will spend his summer afternoons there as well. the bathroom door mat becomes his bed when i go in for a bath and he's overjoyed to see me emerge after my 3 minute bath like i went to war for a few months. i wonder if he's trailing me only because i am "meals on wheels" for him?

I am trying to potty train him, in an apartment, its been my greatest challenge. he's teaching me once again that there's more to being a dog lover than cuddles and play time. that it takes patience and stamina all at once. 

i am ok with everything till now....but i wonder when i will begin to go back to looking for grey hair in the mirror.

Monday, August 22, 2011

And we called him Sage

I grew up with animals around me. Multiple dogs, a couple of cats, fish in a tank, chickens bred for their meat which i refused to eat and at certain times assorted stuff like rabbits too, always lived in my maternal house. infact K used to refer to my house as "the zoo". 

I cant say if i am a cat or a dog person. because i am equally in love with both, but due to sheer numbers and experiences, dogs outweigh the memory of cats in my life. With a large house, and the family belief that one kept the other active, we always had atleast two large dogs at any given point...sometimes three. which makes about 20 give and take a few. I could never understand why people didnt like animals and dogs and cats for that matter. Welcome back home is something one will never understand unless you've had a dog put his front paws on your chest and slobber your face. the mud paw prints on your clothes are a very small price to pay for the love you receive. 

once i got married and moved into an apartment I had to adjust everything from my wardrobe to social skills and even learn voice modulation . Simply because there was such less space. 

add to that a husband who wanted to strangulate my possessive dog the first time we spent the night at my mother's house because she was very jealous and wanted to share the bed with us. she sat at the door and whined till i let her in, she then proceeded to wedge herself between us and sleep the whole night. a man who never willingly touched an animal except on the dissection table was suddenly sharing a bed and pillow with a canine who growled each time he even stirred.

i can assure you it wasnt love at first or second or even third sight. Life moved on and Cindy moved to bangalore with my mother and brother. She reserves her warmest love for K these days cos he pampers her silly. We just had to allow time and subtle reassurances that she wasnt going to bite him. this for a man who wouldnt touch a soft toy because it felt 'furry' was a huge step.

I never got over my craving for an animal. I pondered over having a cat since they are so independent and care two hoots if you come back home at the same time of the day or not. and most of all can crap in a litter box which means they are more suited for apartment living but K would have none of it. 

the last few years, i was convinced i wouldnt cuddle another pup. city living and travel and the vagaries of being a DINK couple meant that we were not willing to bring everyday demands and care and initial chaos into our lives....

increasingly, i began to convince myself that watching cute puppy antics on youtube was as good as having a pup. now i feel like laughing at my bravado. 

last year this time, i took on the responsibility of baby sitting a friend's labrador for a week. he was to be married and had no where to leave his 'son' and so i offered my home but didnt bargain to losing my heart. newbie made me realise what i was craving and also gave K a glimpse of the person i would be with a pet around. for me, it made me realise what a closet dog lover lay behind the years of not wanting to touch any animal, except when dead and served up on a plate.

K finally felt that I was deprived long enough and i got the go ahead to look for a pup. i hunted high and low, contacted breeders, kennels and animal shelters. i couldnt seem to find anything that i wanted or liked. the breed was wrong or the price to high or nothing worked ever. i was keen on a beagle for its size, then a spaniel and then just when i was going to put an end to all the pining since i felt like such a wuss, i walked into a vet's clinic to check if there were any puppies available through them. I made a couple of calls half heartedly and as i walked outside, i was accosted by a man who asked me in typical movie theatre black marketeer style if i wanted a dog and that he had a golden retreiver pup for sale. He looked like a shady guy, so i hurriedly took his number and left the place. the guy called me about 5 times that evening. and about 10 the next day. i stopped picking up after the second call. I hadnt even considered a golden retreiver since they are large animals and need space. on the 13th, after lunch at my in laws, we came home to rest and K was vexed with the dog breeder's incessant calls and asked me to just call and tell him we'd go look at the pups.

I knew then, that life as we knew it, would never be the same. I had 10 minutes to choose between two pups. their parents came along and since the trailors were so gorgeous, we signed on for the movie. in a blink of a second and with the exchange of a few notes, i had a 7 week old puppy in my arms. i nuzzled his face, carried him in my arms, he never once looked at my face, but just sighed, and flopped down, sleeping for the most part of the 45 minute drive back home. waking up only to pee and poop and throw up on me. What can i say? i had waited 8 yrs for this!

a few anxious days of getting my dog raising mojo back, answering all of K's incessant questions and a lot of oh my god i would have tripped over you and killed you later, we have settled into a nice space. I know we'll not be able to traipse off like before, locking the house for days together, and yes my pooch wants to be fed at the insane hour of 5.30 a.m every morning, he has also scent marked my entire apartment and ofcourse i have to kiss my spotless house goodbye, but one look into his eyes and i forget all the mischief he has been upto.

I wanted to call my dog mojito, but this one didnt look like that... his sombre look prompted K to say he was sagacious. And so, we called him Sage.

Say hello!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

the thirty day photography challenge ~ in words

So as i drag my feet with the 365 day project for 2011 which over the last few months has turned to lead, i accepted to do a 30 day photography project with a bunch of enthusiasts on fb. i havent counted, but i think i took about 45 days to finish it.... i am very unhappy about this and i wont tell myself that finishing it was what was important. yes it was... but doing it on time was as important. i hate myself for my procrastinating nature at times... i can just sit on the stuff i need to do for months.... that;s something i need to change. am working on it....

coming back to the pictures... the enthusiasm for the project was high in the first one week... i brought out all three of my cameras and earnestly carried around my old p&s in order to capture a moment here or a montage there... i eagerly looked forward to what the other's were posting and how they were framing and composing their pictures. each day had a theme and it was quite nice to see how we'd interpret or capture the same theme. i must say i was jealous a lot of times... and wondered why i wasnt able to think of something similar. there were days when i couldnt decide which of the many pictures i should post...on certain occasions, my shots would be similar to what the others posted. honestly, my first instinct would be to change it and put something else... but i resisted... i realise how much what others think still affects me....

i had fun while i did this. i dont think i have ever used my tripod as much as i have for this project. especially for the night shots and the self portraits. i can not forget waiting in the kitchen with my tripod and camera for the pressure cooker to let off steam to get a nice shot...or sitting on a milestone on a dark street with people giving me weird looks to get my long exposure shot....or shooting my mother while she was busy talking to me without her knowledge....

the photo project has been very uplifting for me... esp since i have done one 365 project, i know how fulfilled i was at the end of the year...and even now... to look back on the pictures... i am energised to do it all over again and fill in the gaps....

up next is a a-z project that i have been shooting for... will finish posting soonest!

to see all the pictures... click here 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

some days

some days the mind is as clear as the bluest cloudless skies... on others its as misty as a hill station in winter....sometimes it oscillates between both...embracing them is what i can graciously as i can...because both are methods...

am glad and good at what i do but i could do so much more....

order or chaos? what do you prefer?