Saturday, February 28, 2009

Slumdog Jackpot and other such

i wanted to do a post right after i saw the oscars....and work ensured that i didnt get a chance, which is just as well. one because there were so many people saying so many things and my life isnt about seizing the moment. if you know me, you will know that i am all about being fashionably late.

i am ecstatic for Gulzar, ARR and Resool.... they totally deserved it...i just wish gulzar saab would have gone for the would have been so awesome.... if anyone from india deserves international praise for music it is ARR and this was well timed....his genious is being suddenly discovered by fellow desis, but then isnt that how we are also finally waking up to yoga?? for the humble beginnings of Resool its no less a victory of his talent and hardwork than anyone else.

having said all of this, i cant imagine why people are having thise "oh its a firang telling this desi story" argument. yeah it is fashionable now to hate the movie. and we had all these coloumns and media coverage over how everyone in india is pissed that they showed us in this light etc etc, but when the movie sweeps the oscars, it suddenly becomes "our" movie and "our success" and its simply appalling. i cant get how we can have no pride. that we can one minute say this is a movie that used us like a whore and we hate it and we arent like that in reality. and when the same movie sweeps the oscars, we embrace it. so who's the whore here? i dont know...and i wont beg your pardon for the use of language...

which brings me back to the aggressiveness with which we respond to everything that the media throws at us. to them this is a story, like any other and they will milk this one for what it is worth. we will prove we are idiots and cant see through this and have heated debates over every medium in the stratosphere. why cant we see this as a story that needs to churn out interest because we have nothing else to fill the tv, newspapers, magazines and the internet forums?

i've seen the movie and yes it did churn my gut in bits, and i thought the music was brilliant, the cinematography was top class. but i havent seen the other's and so will reserve my comments on whether this one deserved to sweep international awards or not. lets just say you cant please everyone, and if this is what people want then so be it...if this was a mediocre movie, then it isnt the first mediocre one to sweep international awards. and beyond a point who cares?? really.

this is real. some will like it some wont and it isnt any body's business to change the other's opinion. great for those who worked on the movie. if it means more indian talent gets recognition then great. afterall you anyways didnt create an opportunity good enough!!

you know what gave me goosbumps?? kate winslet winning the oscar.... i dont care about anything else. i love that woman. i love the actor in her. and i bet my sorry little silly heart, i would have been like her if i was an actress. i've always had this delusion she was my soul sister, so when she held that trophy, that was me you just saw up there. so for all the times she was nominated and didnt win... kate!! you go babe!! you did it this time. she's a marvellous actor and congratulations.

The other babes who i was delighted to see - Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway.

other things i loved .... Hugh Jackman.... Ooooo who'd have thought he would dance and sing and do all those things he did in a tailcoat and a top hat. and with Beyonce!! that was hot!!

So all in all it was a great show.... it was the return of the musical and how!!

Friday, February 20, 2009

home made cakes in bangalore and a story of starting blues.....

yes.... its blues again.... i need a place to say all this....and this is where i am coming more often....

i have this friend...J.... fiesty...go getter...hardworking...and currently a SAHM....she's come far from where she strated....she's one of those people you look at and know she'll get the job done....she has dreams and aspirations... not about building a fortune 500 firm, but realistic ones...inspired by successes around her.... to do something interesting and satisfying.... that's all.....then why J and blues in the same line??

she's been on a roller coaster these past few months.... she's trying to figure out how she can do something productive with her time and yet be a sahm.....something that will rake in some cash as pin money.....atleast.... that's the thing with being financially independent from a young age....even if you are in a secure relationship.... you cant be "kept"... it pricks...and doesnt ever leave your head....

we've spent a lot of airtime talking....i am a couple of years ahead of her in this "joblessness" business... so i think we relate well with each other and i know what she's going through.....we share what we're feeling....and mostly laugh at how silly we're being ..... when she tells me...she has many plans but doesnt know where to begin....its dejavu for me.....and viceversa.....

after many months, J has taken a huge step forward.... she's launched a home venture....she's a food blogger too and a talented why not put that to use... she's sent out a menu with prices to people near her apartment in bangalore...for home made cakes and muffins....

i know its a huge step for her.... i know how much its taken for her to actually print out those pamphlets and make a start.... we're all so afraid of failing....of looking like a fool when we despite all the starting blues you had... you did it babe....this was the most important step

its with great pride that i write this....babes.... .... you will do fabulously well....Sinful Indulgence will be where everyone turns to for home made cakes and muffins in Bangalore.... just you wait and watch...

for all of you who are looking for fabulous Homemade cakes and muffins in Bangalore - call J on 9611102160 or email her -

Thursday, February 19, 2009

weighing scale blues....

So it isnt a secret that losing weight has been on my todo list for as long as I have been making one….ten years ago, I was thin enough to have a nickname “somalian” …. Today, most pictures of me have a visible double chin….

Ok so I cant look the way I did ten years ago….i wont even have the same kind of metabolism….i actually used to eat a full portion of chicken biryani and be ready for some more!! turning vegetarian didnt help..... not that it was because of the weight loss.....

Like one third of the world, I have been trying to lose weight….atleast in my head if not really….having a food blog doesn’t help….ok…so this is my latest excuse….i’ve tried everything from saying I have no time to having an allergy to cold and not being a morning person….

the last time i had a food chart and listed down every damn thing i put into my mouth, just doing that made me lose a couple of kilos in a month... this time that isnt working either....

I cringe when I have to go shopping for clothes…. Stuff for the house I will happily spend hours choosing…ask me to go buy a pair of jeans and you can see me reduced to a pile of nerves….each time I have gone to the tailor, it is to give the “measurement kurta” and tell him to make it looser by an inch all over…..

in the past, i've been on crash diets, with great success...only to yo yo back a few months later.....currently it isnt the weight... that is the by product.... but i feel the need to build an earnest effort towards better health.....with the lifestyles we have.....its high time i make a concrete start to building a better lifestyle....

its been said that anything repeated for 21 days without a break, becomes a habit.....i havent done it for 4 days straight, but doesnt 4 days a week count for some kind of pattern? i have been walking....about 4 kms....

so then... what is your prescription?? for weight loss?? and better health?? and hey dont tell me to starve...i write a food blog afterall!!
ets s

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Walking …. Above the Ground

sometimes...i am very grateful for the fact that i am actually living and being cognisant of the things happening in my life....not just sleep walking through it.... living and not just wasnt always like this....

a few weeks ago, the team of people i work with, met up...we work from different locations....which means we sometimes dont know the faces behind the voices....we spent a day at an outbound training facility.... this is a training centre, built on a family farm and run by the family to simulate and facilitate learning through physical building, interpersonal skills, bonding etc....

we did a lot of activities that had us under the hot sun...the early scorching summer sun, that left me tanned and dehydrated...the excitement and adventure ensured i didnt throw a mental tantrum....the piece de resistance for me...was walking on this rope bridge called the burma bridge...

i was on this facility a few weeks earlier, as the trainer / facilitator of a program, so i was familiar with the topography and the infrastructure they had in place for the various tasks...i heard the owners describe the task...and i thought to myself....well, i am never going to do this....and that was that…..

after a few physical activities that had me almost in a heap….i realized how I lacked basic fitness….it was time to strap up to walk the rope bridge….

I don't quite know what I felt as we put on the harness….this thing is a rope bridge suspended at 20 metres above the ground…with two flimsy towers on either side of the bridge with ladders to help you climb up… say that I am conscious of my weight…is to put it lightly…. .i was determined that I didn't want to wait for too many people to go before me, because then there would be too many opinions and it would screw with my head…that's something I have exclusive control over!! I was the second one to go…..i walked with that funny looking harness around me towards the ladders…it feels like the skeleton of an underwear, minus the fabric….

i went up half the way…about 10 meters and then realized it was quite difficult to pull my weight up…I looked down and froze….the breadth of the pegs where you put your feet was less than 8 inches on each side….i was wider than the damn ladder… legs were shaking and I was not even halfway up the tower…the outdoor activity expert, lets call him P, is a certified mountaineer and walks on the bridge without the harness, he was on the tower, waiting to harness us to the safety cable….i asked him, as helplessly as I could…will you help me up, I think I will fall down….he gently said "keep climbing, you'll make it don't worry"….i wanted to climb back down….the entire team that I work with was standing below, a short distance away, and there was no way I could eat humble pie…..shaking and shivering I reached up, and P didn't even extend a hand….he just made me do it myself…once up on the platform of the tower, I realized it was less than 4 square feet with three of us standing there….the shaking I felt was magnified because the towers shook too…. mind you, they are made of solid iron, but they still shook…..

I was harnessed onto the safety cable….and now all I had to to was walk the 30 meters to the other end of the bridge…..i remembered P saying that it was easier to get a grip and walk if you put your foot on the knots….he also said that if you fell off the bridge, no one could help…. We'd have to pull ourselves up….. that was something I imagined would never happen in my case, since I would hang there forever…..

The first step was taken with an absolutely dry mouth and no air in my lungs….i was terrified….of what the ground looked like from there….of how far 30 meters was….of how pathetic it would be if I fell off….of the fact that I could quite easily fall off….i took another few steps….and then I froze…..the ropes were shaking…. People were screaming….cheering….i couldn't hear a thing….all I felt….was a sense of desperation I have not felt in a long time….infact I cant remember when I felt this way…..

I took a few more steps…the ropes shaking hopelessly….my legs feeling like lead….i felt cold….alone….lost….close to tears…..i felt like I would never be able to finish the walk…I was terrified of looking like a loser….i was frightened I would fall off and be unable to pull myself up….i just kept chanting…jesus…jesus…jesus…..i think I stood there immobile on that bridge for what seemed like eternity….i was trying to land every step on the knots….it was too far apart….my legs are short….and they felt like lead…which meant that it seemed farther….there was no way I could do this I said to myself….i am sure, my mouth was open and dry all this while….

For a second, I just stood there…the cheering seemed to have stopped….and then I had a moment…..i realized what I was doing…..i was virtually telling myself all the time, that I wouldn't be able to finish it….i was setting myself up for failure, while telling myself that it would be pathetic to fall in front of all my colleagues….i was so terrified…of everything…the height, the ropes, the cables…and most of all of failing…..i realized, I had no one to blame but me…and all the inspiration I needed too was within….i realized somewhere between the time when I was a compulsive tree climber, competing with my brother and his friends to climb the trees in our backyard and now, I became a wuss…. I realized it wasn't the actual walking on that rope bridge, but the thought of it that scared the crap out of me….that I magnified everything to gargantuan proportions and imagined the worst possible outcome which adds to my nervousness….that almost made me fall off…or not complete the walk…..

I am glad I had this moment 20 meters above the ground…when I was alone….and had only myself….there was nothing else to cloud my mind…. No other thought other than, I had to finish it….. that I could overcome whatever obstacle I faced, I just had to believe that I have it in me to do it…. that no matter how difficult a situation, there was an end in sight…..i took a deep breath….told myself that nothing mattered…how long I'd taken to complete the crossing….how scared I was….and how ridiculous I looked…what mattered, was that I finished it…that I confronted my fears, and came to terms with it…that I was able to finish what seemed like an impossibly scary thing to do….

The most important thing for me was the confrontation of my fears, real and imagined…. I haven't had the most cushy of lives…. I've had to confront situations worse than this many a times in life before….somehow, I felt more courageous when I had not much at stake….when I was younger and was more daring….today it is different…..the stakes are higher ( I wonder how much of it is imagined)…..the fears are much stronger and I feel my mind gets muddled with too many things…..

I am glad I walked the Burma bridge…. I couldn't have done it standing on the ground….

Thursday, February 5, 2009

i'll indulge you.....silly

Have you ever encountered someone you’ve wanted to ask to get lost but have spoken to them politely to the point that the politeness gets on your nerves? I know the answer is an astounding yes…. I’ve been doing that increasingly of late. In the course of work, I am meeting with many more people than I used to….this means that I get to test my social skills a lot more than I did earlier. The good part is that, I can actually be objective about this enough to keep my most natural instincts in check….the bad part is, my claws have become blunt! Am I losing my sting? I don’t know… but that isn’t the point. In the course of work, I have been speaking with and meeting people…different kinds…each time I am amazed at all the different kinds of us that there are around ….at another age and stage, I would be a different person, short on temper, quick on repartee, fierce with my ideas and with a purpose of making everyone see my way and disciplining those who were errant….gradually of course I realized that I was being as stubborn as the ones I was encountering…that it wasn’t my lot to discipline anyone….and that I was being far more judge mental than I had the courage to acknowledge…. So now, older and hopefully wiser, I sit back and take notes…. Choosing a few classily delivered doses of sarcasm over hysteria and / or anger…. And hopefully have the sense to choose those that don’t impact work….. some of my friends and acquaintances from an earlier life, sometimes remark that they cant believe it is the same me… truth be told…. I often think the same!!well this is really turning out to be a pointless post...and if i dont get bogged down with wanting to say something coherent...i will just hit the publish button and be done with it.... afterall...who cares anyways...and it is my blog!!    

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Taking stock

we're already in February..... dude!! where the hell did January whiz past….. it’s scary!! I can just recall an all-night card party on the 2nd of January …. Cackling worse than a pack of wolves…. Scared the neighbours would lodge a complaint and have a morcha to shut us up….and today I sit staring at the calendar which says it’s already the 3rd of Feb!!
I haven’t had a single dull moment…that much I can tell….we’ve had a pretty hectic social life…..each weekend has been spent with friends…..much laughter, music, philosophy and alcohol has been shared!!
This month began with a refreshing lunch shared with women friends….sans partners, kids or anything else that we prioritise over self…this was something I wanted to do for ages…spend time…nce a month…with women….one way of unraveling and seeing myself….we had a lovely lunch at the Yellow Chilli, and spent a whole afternoon browsing through the sale at Westside…. i put up a brave fight, but succumbed and ended up with 2 bags for work, 2 kurtas and one set of Chinese tea cups…they are so beautiful, I want to hide them!! This ends my no shopping spell…. J
Each weekend, we’ve had friends over…some to spend time…some to stay over….some to share philosophies….some to listen to music….some to get away from whatever has been plaguing them!! All this has meant great company and such a spectrum of personalities that it is refreshing and totally crazy at the same time!!
I also had my very first and second massage…..i mean …. I was more excited than the birthday girl – A … who’s hubby arranged for the two of us to be pampered at a spa…. It was a fabulous gift…something that wishes are made of….it was more than amazing….and totally awesome…to be pampered that way…. at one point….i didn’t know where I was….bliss…I think it was bliss….more on that later….
The second one …the massage I mean….came a week later… yeah quick succession!! At work we had a very intense week….including a day spent in the sun doing physical stuff at an outbound training facility….. I even walked on a rope bridge about 20 metres above the ground (and was scared to death!!) ….. I will write a post on that another time…the next day, every muscle in my body ached….so I called in a masseur who does house calls and she was of the desi massage type…. Lots of rubbing and at some points the pain was enough to make me yelp!! But after that, my skin (thanks to the olive oil) felt like silk and I slept for 4 hours like a baby….plus of course I did feel relaxed….
K went on a short trip out of i had a girl friend stay over with me.... that became two and then three in no time!! man was that a party or what!! 
Work has been crazy busy…it’s a nice kind of busy tho….on the flip side, I have been working on a couple of weekends, and some more to go…but those are the demands of work…. Oh did I mention that I love it that I can take a day off whenever I feel like it?? this is seriously the answer to my prayers…. Just knowing that it can be done, makes me love my work set up….!! oh yeah and i am doing some pretty interesting work too while i am at it.....
social quotient has gone through the roof needless to say...that could be the one reason why time flew past this quick.... blogging has taken a major beating.... working weekends have meant that i havent had the time to stock pile my auto publishing posts either.... hopefully that will all change....for now.... i need to make my grocery list ... so ciao!!