I seem to have finally found a gym I like. It is small, it has wide open windows and there is no residual smell that makes you sick in a regular gym. I also found a trainer who actually has a well toned body and not one of those protein shake fed bulging muscles. In my (very limited I will admit) experience with gyms and instructors, I will tell you that the overly built ones rarely have any real knowledge of fitness and will have little or no flexibility or skill themselves. So for the longest time, I detested going to gyms because I knew more about fitness and nutrition than those instructors, and I couldn’t suffer their presence or worse still their advice.
I digress. Its been about 2 weeks. I haven’t gone everyday but this week my target is to go all 6 days of the week. I’ve joined what is called boot camp, its like circuit training. The guy who runs the gym is the one I am quite impressed with. He knows his stuff, is very observant which automatically means that he will watch and then correct you if posture etc is wrong, can improvise exercises on the spot to accommodate your specific needs or level of fitness and knows when to encourage, insist and let go. In short, I should just sing hallelujah!
Yet, last Saturday had me terribly depressed and on the verge of tears coming on so strong that I almost couldn’t finish my routine. No, it was not the sight of me huffing and puffing about in the mirrors, the lack of trendy gym clothes or the fact that I am sleeping an average of 5 hrs a day and not really minding it. I thought I was doing just fine and for the first time, my focus is only on being regular. I have no ambitious plans... in fact I keep telling myself that any activity is better than nothing at all.
They did a body analysis at the gym. You know, they take your vital statistics and tell you how much muscle (or the lack of it in my case) is in your body and what are the areas that contain adipose. How much is your basal metabolism etc and the most difficult part for me, what is the physical age of your body. It was 2 decades more than my chronological age. If that doesn't get you depressed, then you must be Deepak Chopra!
I couldn't continue my routine without telling myself that I needed to finish the workout. All the time picturing a 50 yr old me. And it wasn't pretty.... I came home and told K and he immediately said that unless the trainer messed (he used the f word) with my head, he couldn’t control it and hence wouldn’t be able to get to me. If he couldn’t do that, he wouldn’t be able to make me go to the gym day after day…. This in turn would come in the way of any fitness goals that were set up. It made sense. But sometimes you just need to wallow in self pity to be able to shrug it all off.
I just told myself that I cannot begin to judge myself and act all cranky. I will focus on small goals which will end weekly. For this week, my goal was to workout all 6 days and not alternate days like I did last week. I am on Friday now and I am happy to report that I didn’t have to drag myself. I went willingly and am enjoying it. I am going to reward myself for every weekly goal that I achieve.
I’ve never been very slim, but I have been atleast 10 kilos lesser than what I am today. I used to be fitter when I was younger, but that is the gift of youth and metabolism! Also, I do understand that I will never be able to look like I was at 24, and who am I trying to cheat? I looked like shit then. I realise now that fitness is the goal and not weight loss. And it is about time I committed to treating my body better. Food is actually not a pain point as we have that mostly sorted. Most meals are freshly made, with choicest of ingredients, less oil and spices. binge eating is non existent, we practically have no snacks other than fruit lying around and we try and keep the consumption of heavy meals to the afternoons about once or twice a month. K's amazing weightloss last year, taught me all of this anyway. it was just the question of being regular... i have the 3 day syndrome... i usually give up after 3 days of anything!
How to I feel after 2 weeks?
Actually quite happy that I found a routine I like.
Happy that I found a gym partner who is a woman. I have nothing against working out with a male gym buddy, but somehow, a woman gets you better….
Amazingly, I feel more energized and don’t want to drop dead at 9 P.M like I used to. I used to scoff at every one who pedaled exercise when they said they feel energetic and active. I admit I am eating humble pie.
I had a pain free period for the first time in 5 years and I worked out through it with no problems. I am usually like this, debilated with pain and cramps and want to only stay in bed with a hot water bottle. To have a period without swallowing a painkiller has been amazing! If only for this reason, I hope I don’t give this up.
Figuring out that if I don’t care for my body it will stop caring for me, and then that isn’t a nice thing to live with is the key for me. I must say that Sage had a huge part to play in this whole thing. Before we got him, I loathed waking up before 7 a.m. now that is a non issue, and so following a morning routine isn’t so difficult anymore….