its finally feeling like christmas

The festive season is upon us……shops, malls and homes are festooned in red, white and green……for me, it’s the favourite time of the year……the chilly evenings and mornings adding to the air of festivity, anticipation of celebrations and time spent with family and friends….the sweet treats, candy, cookies and cake…

I make my own Cards ……so for a few days, i was busy cutting, block printing and sticking paper to make them.......also planned on making cookies and some savoury eats….and cake of course…. the planning begins in November……however, like all best laid plans, they go awry….some due to my own fault……and sometimes things just get out of hand……the panic and falling to pieces is all part of Christmas……it wont be Christmas for me, if everything moves on like clockwork!!

This year, K and I will be celebrating at home……we couldn’t make the trip to Bangalore to join Amma and my brother’s family….work and other commitments have kept us very busy……so its bittersweet……while I love doing up the house, cooking and having friends over….sometimes I just wish I could be with Family….that’s what festivals are all about right??

Its not Christmas, till I put the tree up….and between all the things that were driving me crazy,  I stayed up one night till 1.30 a.m to get the tree decorated……I couldn’t bear another day in a bare home……as I stepped back to watch the lights on the decorated tree……it simply tipped forward and fell flat on the floor……for what seemed like an age, I stood there….teary eyed, as I watched the decorations scattered on the floor, the tree with the lights still blinking, asleep……on the ground!! For a second I wondered if I should turn off the lights and deal with it in the morning……but I couldn’t bear to wake up to a mess……so I took a deep breath…..and got to work….first to untangle the mess of beaded garlands and fairy lights….and pick up all the baubles that got flung across the drawing room!! I stayed up till 4.00a.m, but I was finally done……just the sight of that made me feel so much better……next was to tackle all the other stuff that was overwhelming me……both for work and for the festivities….. putting my management training to use, I drew up a time quadrant to plan my work….to do lists make my life seem so much better!!

Last Year's Goodie Hamper for friends and family.....Viennese butter cookies, muruku, rich plum cake (store bought) and eggless date and fruit cake

I realized that fretting over time that has gone by, wont accomplish anything…yeah I am a dim light bulb sometimes!! Last evening I made some mixed berry/ raisin and cashew cookies (recipe coming soon) and as I sit here to type this up….the rich fruit cake I have attempted for the very first time is baking….filling the house with an amazing aroma……I have a fudge to finish!! And then am all set…..yesterday was K’s turn to turn a year older….he always feels ill on his birthday and this year was no better……tho he isnt as bad as last year!! We’re having a smallish combined celebrations tomorrow…..

To my dearest friends, family and readers, I wish you, the Joy and Peace that Christmas embodies………wherever in the world you are, have a wonderful Holiday……Love and Happiness always!!

feeling cranky............

There are days when I feel like putting a stake through people…..i seem to be having a miserable 24 hrs here….it’s just one of those days!! when nothing really is blowing up in my face… I mean nothing major…yet nothing is going as planned!!

Let’s begin with the net connection in the office!! It fluctuates between barely there to no trace of it at all….the system is constantly searching for network, and just when you’ve patiently downloaded something, in the last few seconds, the application times out! Aaarrgghh……

My outlook express seems to have a life and a mind of its own….i am after almost a month, unable to get the configuration correct…..i spent 2 good hours today trying to explain this to an online tech support agent, and all I got was stock answers that made me really want to reach for that stake!! Why do they not probe you? Why do they not try and trouble shoot? Why do they give stock responses? I guess I will never have the answers to these questions……it is like the Immaculate Conception, which you will have to just accept…..

Maybe my irritation is multiplied by the fact that its that time of the month again….it brings with it the overwhelming need to lie in bed, with a hot water bottle to ease the backache and cramps and total silence….any little rustle is enough to tick me off….yesterday, despite my want to just cut everyone out of my life for the moment, we woke up literally at the crack of dawn to take amma to the airport….already the whole household, (read Amma) was so worked up about the security arrangements at the airport after the Bombay attacks and reports in the papers and news channels that all airports were on high alert….there is a little background story to the high drama of a few days ago….. Amma not knowing what she wanted to do…go back or stay…. Train tickets aren’t available till January and this meant, despite her apprehensions of not wanting to fly, we had to book her ticket on a plane…. So she spent days watching the tv, scouring it for news on airports and flights…. Any little mention in the newspapers, was pored over with a magnifying glass… really she has to use one to read…the newspaper said “airline asks passengers to report 3 hrs ahead” finish……… regardless of the fact that it was for Singapore airlines only…she went crazy ….. no amount of reassurance was doing her any good….. it’s the way things are…this is the fear that terror has put into our minds…and this is what we have to deal with…call it irrational…. But this is real….

Anyways, on Sunday morning, after a fitful sleep, we woke up, got dressed and drove on the new Outer Ring Road to the airport…I am pleased to report, that the Shamshabad airport is now a mere 25 mins away from home….the road is partly finished and is magnificent…ofcourse my heart cried for the destruction of all those rocks… but that is what brought the airport that much closer to me! We found a Kingfisher baggage handler and handed amma over to him, asking him to take care of her and help her board the plane….we do it every time….and she acts so independent that they wonder why we fussed so much in the first place!! Security was a breeze, all those involved were relaxed and that was a good thing…

we got back home and I tried to hit the sack, but couldn’t……ordered food…. despite all my food charts, I binged…. Felt like a beached whale, and craving only a snuggle with my hot water bottle, I slept like a baby…..to awake a few hours later, just to feel like I could sleep and never wake up again….a couple who we know, they own this fabulous European bakery in hyderabad….not your regular hole in the wall, but pretty fabulous….they were having this advent thingie they’d invited us for….having stood them up a couple of times before, we made a polite appearance….it is Christmas season already!! Carol services galore yesterday…..christmas trees are up….decorations are happening!! And I need to get my act together on the cards if I want to send them out before this festival season ends!!

K and I had dinner outside together…at my favourite but completely outpriced Italian place…..even that bowl of creamy pasta couldn’t comfort me…...i bought myself that damned water bottle I was hallucinating after….and that’s the only thing that lulled me to sleep…..

This morning when I woke up, I sorely missed amma….and I think that’s what set the pace for a cranky day today….

Edited to add: as I got out of office, I stopped at a flower shop and bought myself…one dozen roses in a lovely deep pink…..and 6 stems of double lilies…..i felt instantly better….got home…plunged them in water…and now as I sit typing this, the roses are sitting pretty on my nightstand….and the whole house is smelling wonderful from the lilies……

Men and (the business of ) beauty

Cosmopolitan india, fast developing india, young india, is seeing a new side to the beauty business…. Not just is it a multi million dollar industry just waiting to be tapped, it is seeing increasingly, the presence of men….. I am not referring to the metrosexual or any other type of man, who takes time out to groom himself….i am talking of men delivering beauty services…..

A couple of years ago, at the neighbourhood beauty parlour which is the branch of a very famous chain, I asked for a pedicure and in response I was asked “do you want ladies or gents ma’am?” not knowing if I heard right, I begged her pardon, to be told again like I was the biggest moron around, that she was asking if I preferred to have a man give me the pedicure… not knowing really if I wanted some random man to be touching and feeling up my leg, I said no. so there I sat, getting my pedicure done, by a girl who huffed and puffed and there sat next to me a lady, engrossed reading a glossy, getting her’s done by a man….both were so matter of fact and went about their business so normally, that I looked like the only village yokel who seemed to notice….

So the next time I was asked, I said either, and a man turned up to do my pedicure… except for the fact that they have more strength and therefore can give you a longer and more forceful foot massage, I didn’t see any difference…..

Increasingly, there are no more “parlour girls”….atleast at the places that are a little swank or wannabe swank and most of them are unisex….infact walk into a unisex parlour, and most often, except for more intimate services such as waxing, there are men and women to attend to you….the transition has happened…..i don’t know for good or bad…but it has….walking into a salon for a hair wash, cut and blow-dry, I am greeted by a “stylist”…yes, they’re not barbers any more…. Or hair dressers….. but stylists….they greet you in smart jeans and tees…. With something that resembles a holster at their hips….with a tonne of stuff they’re going to use on your hair….clips, combs, brushes and scissors….

Firstly, it seems funny, to be sitting next to a man who’s getting a little tuft of hair at the top of his head coloured blonde….he’s chatting away on the cell phone, while two women apply colour and brush and a bit of aluminium foil to his hair…..i feel extremely self conscious…. Then I relax… I am making a big deal of nothing I feel….infact I begin to feel rather silly….. if this is the way things are, then so be it…..

I am ushered into a “shampoo chair” a smartly dressed young man….with a dozen charms on his wrist, hair all spiked up with gel, and chewing gum, runs his hands through my hair…. I almost froze…. He shampoos it, conditions it and then wraps it in a towel…..i am ushered to the “cutting chair” …. There’s something about the way he went about his business….i changed my salon after 13 long years….it just got too difficult to drive half over town for a very expensive haircut…..so I turned to this one, a few kms from home…asked for their best person, told him to just trim what I already was styled in and he followed my instructions to the T…..so I do recognize deftness when I see it….

I mention it to a friend, the second time I went in for a hair cut…. She just rolled her eyes and said, “the best haircuts are given by men anyway….and I have been getting my hair done by a guy for the last 3 yrs now…..”

A year and 4 haircuts later, I ask for the guy with the charms on his wrist by name…..not because of anything other than the fact that he knows his job very well….. I finally don’t think of him as some random guy snipping and blow-drying my hair… but as my stylist…. Its taken a while…but hey!! If this is the way things are, then so be it…..!!

what next? I don’t know… J a facial perhaps?? Thank god I don’t do those….. that would be a little too much for my old fashioned self!! 

on shaky ground....

there was an sms alert my colleague got at 5 pm today…it said there was a shooting that took place in Hyderabad, while investigating with regard to the Bombay Terror attacks, an Ex SIMI activist, shot at the constable and a red alert has been sounded in hyderabad. As soon as we heard this, I checked online to find this….i informed K and left for home immediately…..

now safe in the confines of my home, I type this to say, I had a shaky few moments………not knowing what this was….exaggeration or the truth, or the look of things to follow, I was only too happy to drive back home…..last night, it took me a few seconds to compose myself, before u got out of bed to go to the bathroom….iamgining people holed up there, some amidst dead people, hiding at the Taj so that the terrorist would miss them, is a constant vision I imagine…..

I don’t like it…and I tell myself I am being unreasonable….i wasn’t even in the same city as what happened…it doesn’t seem to help…..i don’t know if I should feel silly about my eagerness to return to the safety of home, or relief that nothing happened, or what…..no false bravado here anyways….

what next?

we're so quick to blame everyone but ourselves..... every one else owes us explanations and apologies.... then why do we get pissed off when we're delayed / detained for a security check at malls/ theatres/ airports etc ? how many times havent we used the "do you know who i am?" bit to get out of situations we think are questioning our self inportance? how many of us are willing to "pay" to get work done, big or small? its no wonder then that they could have bribed their way through while enterring the country.....

are we done with all the celebrities who are no experts on matters of security / disaster management/ governance? there was one with 6 celebrities and one ex cop....and they never allowed the cop to answer anything or make any point...when he'd have had more things of objective knowledge than any of them.... i am not a snob... i am not saying these celebs shouldnt be on panels.... but by just getting them, arent we trivialising the whole thing? not really wanting to explore some ideas at the end of the panel discussion?

why are we just going overboard trying to pin the blame on the politicians?? yes we elected them and yes they damn well be answerable.... but by making them the "cause" of this disaster.....arent we sending out a clear signal that we are loving this name calling and blame games rather than sitting down to take action.... to make some foolproof action plans that dont remain in name alone? or do we play the "i want answers"...."how could this happen" outrage to empty us of all our anger so that there's none left to channelise constructively??

this whole thing has made me so scared....scared for my life and the ones dear to me....with all the images of blood and gore and possible and impossible real and imagined and quite possible terror attacks, i sleep so uneasy each night....holding onto K for dear life and not wanting to be alone.... if this can do this to me.... just imagine what it would be like for the people who actually lived through all this and or lost someone they know?

while the media did a good job of keeping us informed.....they need not have fed us the blow by blow details... i am sure the terror outfits benefitted a lit out of it all.... they held out for more than 56 hrs... some inputs from the relentless news coverage must have helped them....now,  i am totally appalled now at how they've made advertisements about their "live coverage" of the mumbai terror.... really... is this needed? and why did they have to zoom in on the faces of the dead heroes lying in their coffins? 

at the end of all of this, i am glad this ordeal is over. yet i am not quite sure it is going to be the last disaster we will deal with. its now time to take action. to give shape in a lasting, concrete manner to all the ideal ideas that we have and make something solid out of it....we need to work out a solution that works for us all.... and we need to do this without wasting any more time.

the aftermath....

its been a full day after the seige in bombay has ended....atleast the worst of it anyway....i havent been able to do anything other than catch some glimpes on tv....read the papers.....and hope and pray that this will be the last that we see of this kind of terror .....

my heartfelt condolences to those who lost their lives.... in the line of duty ...and victims of circumstances....words mean nothing i know.... but that's all i seem to have right now.... i hope we always remember thier supreme sacrifice.... 

i am in deep gratitude of the men who defended and protected us....the Marcos, the NSG commandos, the RAF, the firefighters, the cops.... who showed us what they were made of....of what they are capable of and just fought on to uphold peace ..... i will not make a single joke about the armed forces anymore.... i will not crib about paying taxes...... if the bulk of it goes to finance the cushy lifestyles of the obese system, i will hope, that some part trickles to these men of valour who i know will defend my life.....

in  the staff of the hotels and ordinary people who showed amazing courage.... i dont know what i would have done...its a hypothetical situation....and i wont trivialise it by trying to suppose....it isnt easy...that much i know....while the live telecast on TV made it look like an action packed movie....the reality i far far from that.... to be crouched for hours.... sometimes hiding under corpses....biting on fear....in darkness....not knowing what will happen next....huddled together....even scared that the sound of the breath that you draw may be too much noise and put you closer to death.....of not knowing if you will be alive or dead....it isnt the things life is made up of....it is terrifying to put it mildly....and yet....in these circumstances, some men and women, put the lives of others before their own.....some of them live to tell the tale...some of them wont.....

i cant believe the news channels behaved the way they did....what began as breaking news....became peddaling of the "exclusive shots", exclusive footage and exclusive macabre that they had....each one trying to out do the other.... giving running commentaries when the commandos were being airdropped.....isnt that too much information being given to us? can that not be used by the very same people who planned this to the last detail that brought us to our knees? why didnt they shut up? or use better judgement?

each news anchor, goading the reporters onsite to get more and more exclusive sound bites....i wonder what kinds of sources they have......each one getting hoarser by the minutes.... more gore....the more blood and destruction, the more excited they got....i dont know if that was a good thing or bad.... i was just numb......

there are more questions.....how and why did the intelligence fail...collectively we have failed as a nation.... we either didnt know what the hell was happening....or we didnt pay heed.....what is the plan forward? is there going to be any concrete action taken, or is this too going to be milked for what its worth and then be forgotten?

one thing is obvious to me....we arent dignified even in our times of absolute destruction...our politicians land up with bags of money, to pay for the dead....they hold press conferences on the site where battle rages on, not caring for the complications in security they are causing.....they make irresponsible statements and shift the blame... and our people.... well what can i say...they resort to sloganeering.... they crowd behind reporters to come into the frame....i saw one man dressed as sachin tendulkar standing behind the reporter at the funeral of slain ATS top cop karkare....we want a good tamasha.....dont we care that we are contributing to a security nightmare....that the last thing we needed at nariman house, was thousands of people watching like it was film shooting.......there was an ocean of people there.....they couldnt even move the trucks and ambulances if a bomb fell right on them....and everyone seemed to be standing around....how and why did the authorities allow people to come so close to the site?? when will we learn??

there are so many things going through my head right now.... i have to stop ....

i just wish hope and peace to us all.....

mind numbed......

40 hours and counting…. Warzone Mumbai ….Mumbai carnaged…ravaged Mumbai…….Exclusive television footage has brought the terror right into our homes…exclusive coverage that served us blood for breakfast…..I sit glued to the TV for hours….watching as people are trying to make sense of it all….i cannot believe that this is all happening….in front of our eyes….people desperate to be safe….waving from their rooms in the Taj and Oberoi….holed up…not knowing what would happen next….the scores of security personnel…..policemen, firefighters, Army men, NSG commandos and Marcos…..the last two groups of men said to be among the best in the business……all of them doing what they can to “flush out the militants”, “minimize civilian casualities” and make us feel safe again….At least 125 have been killed in the Mumbai encounter, including 14 policemen and six foreigners and 327 people have been injured.  And this is the official estimate………

Some thoughts going through my mind right now

Chef Banja, who shared our church bench for 4 yrs, has died. He was an Executive Chef at the Taj and was shot at in the kitchen……I can’t believe this….it somehow brings all of it closer….

When will we realize that this is a real time war situation and this is urban warfare? That it needs to be dealt with the severity and seriousness….much more than we are doing right now?

How many more people should lose their lives and how many more attacks like this should happen before we appear to take measures to send a clear message that we are not a soft target anymore? When will be associate a little more value to the life of a citizen that has been lost?

Why was there such a time lag in bringing in our top trained commandos? Were they stuck in bureaucratic red tape?

Why am I paying taxes for the bills of politicians and bureaucrats instead of buying better equipment and training for cops and soldiers?

How did the guys just jump into a speedboat and land up at the gateway……isn’t this checked at any point of time? Where are the intelligence reports?

Why are the reporters and journalists the ones asking questions on policy and a way forward? Isn’t this the job of the people who govern us to do this?

Isn’t it the duty of the government to provide a secure place for its citizens?

I’ve just refreshed my newsfeed, and as of 11.48 a.m there is fresh gunbattle going on at the Taj, earlier this morning, this was supposed to be secure and handed over to the police….what is happening? Gag orders have been given to the media as it is believed the terrorists are getting access to the movements of the commandos….WTF!!

I am quite numbed by all of this….i don’t wish to conclude….i don’t know what to conclude with…. Hope maybe a good place to start…..and my prayers are for all the warriors who are helping us tackle this as best as they can.

 

Half a Decade ..... and Counting

A white train, veil and an entourage….. a dapper groom, awaiting his bride at the altar, a church full of people, singing …..and a priest waiting to say “I now pronounce you Man and Wife” ………..

Whatever else I dreamt of, this montage was never to be…… in its place instead, was a terrible excitement that we would finally spend the rest of our lives together…….hoping that the frayed nerves would hold up till everything was over….making all of the arrangements……staying at the venue till a few hours before the reception to get everything done…..i telling you my feet were paining in those ridiculously high heels (because k is a foot taller) and you asking me why I wore them in the first place…. You grumbling over how many more hours of handshaking was in store and me asking you to shut up and smile since pictures were being clicked…..

five years then seemed like such a long time…..now I can’t remember when it flew past…..knowing each other as long as we have, it seems like forever….. in a nice way!! In the end it isn’t about what we did, or how we spent time, or where we’ve been and what we’ve achieved…..

To know that I will always come home to you…..that I share my life with you…that marriage wasn’t the end of all that we wanted…it was just the beginning of what we have together….to know that we don’t have to be Siamese twins…..that we can be our own people…..with opinions and ideas fiercely our own…. That it’s ok to not agree on anything and yet know that that’s the way it is going to be…..that we are chalk and cheese….that we don’t have to share anything…..religion, language, culture, interests or even food….and yet, we share the life we have together…..to take a line out of Jerry Maguire, “you complete me”….

I am so glad I found you K…..if I had to do it all over again, I would……and not change a thing….Happy Anniversary!!

am i shallow??

Consider this:

i like to watch reality shows (one bigg one in particular) instead of news and analysis or something more serious......

i like to watch soppy mush instead of war/ political movies....

i like to eat chinese instead of some other exotic cuisine.... 

i love reading pulp fiction against all the other hard hitting award winning fiction that's always available

i like to talk about people and places and movies and food and annoying habits instead of earth shatteringly serious stuff like philosophy....

i love watching people... at public places...malls, airports, stations, does that make me a voyeur??

does this mean i am shallow??

Listed and listless

As I sit here on my first day at work, several thoughts go through my mind….. its pretty amazing that I am able to have normal conversations while my mind is running all over the place….it also strikes me….at how much we all use technology to appear busy….

Right now, I am sorely missing my laptop. A couple of times today I contemplated going home to pick it up and had to restrain myself…. It's a good place to hide, behind the screen of a computer….also my sheer dependence on it…..like an extension of myself!!

What do you do when you are at a loose end?? I plan….more like, I make lists….many kinds….endlessly sometimes…..so right now I have a few going…..things to do at work…broken down into for the project etc….. stuff for home…..lists of important and unimportant work which nevertheless needs to get done…..Why do I do it? it helps me plan. Its like laying my entire life out in front of me and prioritizing, organizing and purging. I feel a greater sense of control when I have lists…they empower me…

The workplace is a huge bungalow in a posh residential colony….in so many ways like the first place I worked for when I returned to hyderabad after my master's and a stint at the corporate offices at Bangalore and Chennai…there was no air conditioning and artificial light, just a small flat to work from….here there's a maid / cook and lunch gets made on the premises….eaten at a real dining table with placemats!! It can get too comfy!! I haven't yet taken up on the option of working from home, cause right now I need to see people to keep me sane…..i will find myself driving to work each morning till I need to be left alone….

The day has been pretty nondescript. I need to sift through a load of training material before I can put something together….so I better be gone…..if the title was anything to go by, there wasn't really any point to this post…..maybe I will do better with the laptop!!

 

 

time to get back!!

by the time this gets read, i would have begun working again........ i will come back to tell the story of how it feels.... and all that jazz.... but today i write about the hazaar things going on inside my head...some time back, i wrote here about why and how i quit working....seems it was yesterday...and now i am actually going back to work again.....

its been two years now since i quit fulltime work....initially i didnt have any agenda other than that i wanted to spend time with amma and take a break for a few months.... when my neice was born in january, i devoted a couple of months trying to help out with the frenzy that hits a household that has a new baby..... so officially for 6 whole months, i just went with the flow and enjoyed doing everything that didnt have an agenda.....everywhere i went people were intrigued / interested and downright nosy about why i stopped working and how i spent my time.....while it never got the better of me, i was quite surprised at how many questions you get asked if you said you were'nt employed. 

i took some hobby classes i wanted to, including salsa, i spent time with friends, paid more attention to my home and started a food blog and each time i said i was a housewife (for want of a better term) jaws would drop.... really?? i'd was the response i'd first get all the while....while it amused me at how i was being categorised and a label put on me, it also surprised me that it actually happened....

i had the time to do a lot of other stuff....for one i have become more interet savvy and i take better pictures than i ever did in my entire life!! i cooked and cooked and cooked some more till k was really tried of his patience.... not of the food really, but of the endless discussions that were food centric...i began baking....i spent a lot of time and money shopping....i went out a lot.... to malls and movies and friends places....my balcony garden took on a new life.....i plunged into home improvement.....i sewed...curtains, cushions, even clothes for myself.....i block printed.....i made christmas cards....celebrated the best christmases and diwalis ever.....and amma spent more time with me than she ever did.......i stopped wearing a watch....i lived for the first 8 months without a cell phone.....i stopped setting the alarm (except for when i had to catch a flight!!)....i began waking up naturally....when my body was satiated with sleep....something that hadnt happened in years...and no it wasnt at noon that i woke up!!

more importantly, life for me changed like i'd never thought possible....i stopped having those headaches......i began to see myself becoming calmer....my temper for sure had ebbed...somewhat.....

i wont pretend that it was all rosy and lovely..... from being reckless with my spending, i suddenly was more conscious of what and how i was spending.....when you have been on your own financially for so long, suddenly to not have the comfort of a monthly pay cheque was something that i took time to adjust to..... financial independence more than puts a spring in your step....for me, it was a confindence i took so much for granted....

when i quit, i wanted to start a restaurant.....i worked on a plan and saw dreams of my eatery flooded with people....of the food and ambience being so fabulous that we had everyone literally eating out of my palms!! that was the first thing to crash land!! i had to accept that it was far too much a risk that i was willing to take....so i let it go....

in a moment of extreme self doubt, with a friend telling me i could do it, i began chocolate classes at home.....what that did to me, is more than i can describe here.....from a day when i was convinced no one would sign up, to doing three classes a week, appearing on TV and having festival orders to keep me awake till midnight, chocolate making did to me in a few months, what i didnt even dream of.....

i loved my job as a trainer....and continued to work on it ..... work as a freelancer trickled in....i began writing training web content..... my days were now fuller than when i had fulltime work.....i have thoroughly enjoyed this.....with the food blog and the friends i made in the blogging community, writing and classes, life was pretty good....infact nothing that i should complain about and appear ungrateful....

However, increasingly over the past few weeks, i have been plagued with questions that i need to answer myself ..... my classes will remain since they are over the weekends, i am at a plateau with the writing and training....for the time being, i feel the need to go out and see different people....i need an office environment......i wondered about things such as my professional worth and the two year break on my resume.....

for starters...this time, i am working out of choice, unless the last time where it was natural progression from being a student..... i spoke to a couple of friends.....from the industry and who were able to talk to me objectively and not give me answers i wanted to hear..... 

while i am not really sure what i want, i am very clear about what i dont want.....i dont want employment that will engulf everything else in my life....i dont want a job that will force me into the rat race.....i dont want to do meaningless work that adds up nowhere....i dont want to give up the pursuit of the things that i have enjoyed these past two years....if all this sounds like i dont want to work...well its farthest from the truth....i was hoping i would get all this a...nd do the work that i love so much

an opportunity that fits all of my do'nts has presented itself.... only time will tell what happens next.....so as of today, while i sit and type this out....i am full of apprehensions more than anything.... apprehensive about how i will fit in.... how i will manage work and home.... if i will be able to do good work....and all the jazz that accompanies starting a new job.....coupled with a very real case of butterflies in the stomach.....i will begin working on a project that involves about 7 hours of work a day....enough to tell me if i want to wager on....or bolt back!!

blogging this and that

i purged this blog of ridiculous labels.... i tried to the best that i could to put all that i have written here in the last two years into less innane categories.....

i am troubled that i do not know html any better cos i seem to believe that is the answer to my drab blog woes.... i wonder if the only way to add elements on the right and left of my blog is to write a new one.... cos the template page isnt helping me..... or maybe more correctly, i havent figured it out yet!!

i wonder if i should continue to write this blog...because i seem to have no idea what i want to do with it.... yes it does help me with ranting.... which was the whole point.... but it seems to be pretty aimless after all this time....

i am...at this point, as confused as i was when i began typing this...

updated to add: i think i figured out how to add a few elements to the page....i feel rather silly that it took this long!!

more magazine gyan~~

ok when i first tried out all this stuff, i imagined my mom rolling her eyes and saying "hmmphh when i tell you its rubbish...but if it comes from a magazine its the gospel".... yeah right... i needed them to validate it!!

but over the past year now... i have really really made drastic changes in the way i treat my hair and skin.....hitting 30 does that to you!! suddenly you count all the strands that wash up in the drain!! and notice that you look so sallow, its hard to believe you ever won a prize in college for having flawless skin!! yes.... now i have skin issues too.....hence the conscious effort to use natural products minus the chemicals....and do some simple stuff which isnt a chore... but can be incorporated into your regular routine with less fuss.....and i have seen some very good results...especially my hair.

Hair and Skin

• it is not a smart thing to not oil your hair for 15 yrs.... it makes your hair like coir!! oiling it before a shampoo is a good idea... its a great idea...just plain coconut oil....squirted straight onto the scalp....and worked into a light 60 second massage with your finger tips.
• warm equal quantities of honey and olive oil, massage into your scalp... let dry... it feels hard and sticky when dry (but obviously), shampoo after an hour.... touch and feel your silken strands!! awesome!!
• commercial shampoos have far too much detergent than we have the courage to acknowledge in them to give that lather they advertise.... dilute it with water by 1/2. notice that it washes as well, and doesnt dry hair as much. this works for all shampoos - mild/ herbal/ for silky hair/ dark hair / curly hair and everything else....
• despite what we may think... it is necessary to trim hair every 8 weeks... 10 weeks at the very least... keeps it well groomed and tidy.
• coconut oil: you may not like the smell.... but its the best before bath body lotion.... slap it on for a few minutes before your bath and use a mild soap like pears / nivea....man!! your skin feels like velvet
• vaseline is the best for dry chapped skin... to feel less icky, use it at bedtime on your hands, feet, elbows and lips....throw out all those overpriced body lotions...they last just a couple of hours
• after years and years of using commercial cosmetics and body washes and lotions and potions....i ate humble pie and got back to the kitchen shelf.... it has been awesome so far....
• equal quantities of rice flour and chick pea flour (besan), some oatmeal and a little granulated sugar mixed with milk / rose water / plain water is THE best body scrub you can have.... mix the dry ingredients and put it all into a container and store it in the bathroom for easy access. 
• Plain honey on your face is a good thing. spread it with your fingers all over your face. keep it on for 10 mins before washing off. it is very hydrating.
• out in the sun and have a tan you want to get rid off? whizz 1/2 tomato with 2 T curd, the sourer the better. apply on your face and wait till dry and wash off... the tan washes right off. ask me!! i never use sunscreen... not because i practice reverse snobbery but i never remember...so i resort to this.
• i find extracting cucumber juice painful, i just whizz a couple of slices with a little yoghurt and put it as a facepack to take off tan. its a great cleanser too..... i think mixing some oatmeal will work too.
• mashed papaya for your face washed off after 10 mins is like a miracle worker.... use it as often as ye shall want lovely skin!!
• oh yes... inspired by a certain friend, i decided on a one soap always policy .... and switched to pears... will keep you posted on the changes....

i didnt expect the comments (albeit my friends!!) on my post on magazine gyan part one.... i edited this part from it since i thought it was an overload!! so here it is!! do let me know what worked for you!!

magazine wisdom....

k is forever accusing me of being very hackeneyed and boring....headings for my posts....captions for pictures on social networking sites...even the name os my blog.... etc.... i am ignoring him....

now that i have that out of the way....onto some magazine wisdom... i dont know how else to put it.... really cool stuff i learnt from years of reading home and decor magazines.... somewhere i think i mentioned i was a home decor magazine junkie.... no?? ok...now i have.... i have been lapping up goodhousekeeping and be

tter homes and gardens since they launched in india.... and occassionally some others off the check out counter in the supermarket...while i wait to be billed for my shopping (marketers of magazines... you have your product placement bang on!!)

while everywhere there are tips to help us organise our lives, homes and person....these are a few that have worked for me.... so in no particular order are the following life lessons that have always been one of the three: time saving / nerve calming / pretty awesome 

Random : Around the house

• i put flowers / leaves in empty bottles/ glasses/ vases... they can be wild flowers from the garden, coleus... anything... it perks up the room instantly
• to extend the life of wilting flowers by cutting the stem off close to the end of the bloom and putting it in a shallow bowl/ deep saucer/ urli
• this is a one in a million..... i dont know about you, but i hate it when bathroom mirrors fog up....to stop your bathroom mirrors from fogging up, rub it with a little shampoo / liquid soap on a soft cloth.... its unbelieveable!! repeat every other week
• soak up a soft cloth in a few drops of coconut oil and water and rub polished wooden furniture with it... gives it an instant new life

• to tidy up in a hurry ... like when friends call to say they're around the corner and will pop in: put stuff that does'nt belong in that room into a pillow case/ plastic bag and stow away...this way you dont have to bother about finding a place to keep them... just bag it...works like a dream... if you are bothered about the mess enough to clean up that is.... and dont make a habit of piling up filled pillow cases...then you've completely lost the plot.
• the pillow cas clutter management also works when you need to empty out cupboards/ drawers and dont know where to put the stuff. put it all into a pillow case and just empty it out when you need to. this way, if you need all the stuff to stay together...it does. when i had to empty out 5 whole wardrobes recently while we had woodwork being done....this was a lifesaver
• it is good sense to always have a book handy to write down stuff: lists, reminders, to do's
• spend 5 mins a day, at anytime, to tidy up / put away 5 items that do not belong in the room/ on the table / fridge / wardrobe.... its kind of like "a stitch in time" and goes a loooong way
• store bedsheets along with matching pillow cases. saves time and energy when you want to change them... you wont go on a wildgoose chase... picking up just one pile at a time
• i use this thumbrule of organising and getting rid of clutter: if you dont use / need something you have put away in a box/ bag for 3 months, you wont EVER need it...there's your cue to sorting out stuff and guiltlessly throwing away horded stuff... that includes stacked up books and magazines!!

In the Kitchen:

• set the table and serve food in pretty crockery... it immediately makes it look and feel better (i have a lot of inexpensive khurja ceramic crockery which i use daily, they can be used in the microwave, so heating leftovers isnt an issue)
• ALWAYS boil enough dal to last atleast 3 meals....freeze as individual portions
  
• chop veggies all at one go....preferably after you buy them and store in plastic bags / boxes... life is pretty chaotic without having to deal with veggies to chop after a long hard day at work
• chop tomatoes and zap in the microwave for 4-5 mins.... cool, puree and pour into ice trays to freeze.... remove and store in a bag in the freezer.... dals, gravies, pasta....here i come!!
• better still double the quantities of any gravy, freeze and store
• scraped fresh coconut stays good in the freezer for 2-3 months as opposed to in the fridge for 2 days
• its good to keep instant food for emergencies....but reaching for it three times a week is one too many emergencies!!
• making a meal plan for the week saves you the hassle of racking your head (whilst stuck in the veggie tray) about what to make for dinner / breakfast (multiply the same four times and you have a plan for the whole month)
• impose a "no more buying" till you finish groceries in your pantry...works better than tossing them out after they've crossed their best by dates
• grouping things together according to category / end product for storage makes life easier.... all baking stuff including dishes, electric mixer and decorations/sprinkles..... all kinds of pasta with spices.... 
• never have more than 5 takeaway containers at a time.... toss them out once they exceed 5 in number 
• home made cookies and cakes, jams, chutneys etc make for great personalised gifts

Phew!! thats a lot of gyan!! so i am going to stop!! 

activity overdrive

by the time you read this....amma will be here....for a few weeks.....

what this has catalysed, is for me to set a few things in order.... you know how it is.... you organise a few things...and then papers, books, linen, even groceries get put away in not exactly their own places... groceries lie in the bags they came in at the bottom shelf of the pantry..... half used packets of whatever lie with rubber bands around them....not yet put into boxes or bottles.....clothes don't get sorted, but lie in the pile they were brought in by the dhobi.....and well.... things like that.... which i put back saying "tomorrow"....

why does all this get catalysed because amma's here?? her cupboard, is my favourite dumping ground..... for things other than the groceries....so i need to get that into order.... as for the kitchen and pantry...she busies herself in it, making her coffee and fixing a meal...much to my chagrin.... i keep telling her she's on holiday and shouldn't do this...but moms!! when was the last time they listened?? so i need to get the kitchen organised so that she can find her way through.... so the cereals, raagi flour and diabetic sweeteners come out of the recesses of the higher shelves to an easy reach place for her.... things that can confuse her (she's got failing eyesight) get put away..... all this means that i have been on an activity overdrive.....

all the things that i dumped out of sight finally get their own resting places....and i, stand back....happy with what i have accomplished....

the price of beauty

Month after month, we march ourselves into torture chambers...to inflict upon ourselves various kinds of painful procedures in our bid to look better/ feel better/ beat age/ lose weight/ gain personality/.....i could go on..... why do we do it? i still cant figure....

i began threading my eyebrows at 18.... now i cant believe i waited that long.... cos in orignal splendour they look like two caterpillars....i remember having to muster my courage up each time, because it was that painful....did i mention i have thick eyebrow hair in addition to them being bushy? which means if i dont get my act together every 3 weeks, i can star in the nightmares of people i know.....ofcourse in the real world, it doesnt happen like clock work should..... the first time i ventured into waxing, i spent the previous night imagining my skin would be ripped off after being scalded by hot molten wax....over the years now, it has become something that i dont quite pay any attention to....not that the intensity of torture has decreased, but i think my threshold for it has increased.....

i dont particularly look forward to these sessions at a beauty parlour....they dont translate into "me time" as peddled by various women's magazines....the only reason i endure this is because i'd like to not end up looking like a grizzly bear.......i tend to keep the pedicure for the end, after i have been plucked and prodded at.....while i can never get why all pedicurists hold the nail clipper upside down! i always trim my own nails.... i go there for the scrubbing and the massage that my feet need after walking around all month barefooted at home....something i never learnt to do was to wear house slippers...

there's a way in which all parlours big or small function....the matter of factedness with which business is conducted.....the way the beauticians go about their job, while to me, to be sprawled in front of one and sometimes two other women, is cringe evoking....while i obsess about my cellulite, uneven colouring and fat deposits, they go about their jobs most non chalantly, and i envy their ability to pay no attention to a person in near undress.....

it never fails to amuse me...how we check each other out....and the beauty parlour isnt an exception....women of all ages and kinds, sitting, in the hairdresser's chair, or for a pedcicure or some other service, sizing each other up......clothes, shape, size, age and money...all either real or imagined...i do it too..... never has it made any sense....because for one, i believe we all look our worst when we're there....hair in a mess, face oily from the aftermath of a facial...sometimes with bits of the facemask still stuck in your hair/nostrils/ears....skin looking like it needs some soothing after the trauma of hot wax.....and yet we check each other out, to see what effect the hundreds we've spent on ourselves so far will look like in a couple of hours when we're back in our togs and wearing our made up faces again!!

i always emerge from a parlour looking worse than i did when i went in.... my hair in a mess.... face oily after a clean up and freshly threaded eyebrows make me look like a plucked chicken.....my feet are the only part of me that look like they had a good time!! but back home and a wash and change later....man!! the difference is so amazing!!

yeah seriously..... it lifts the worst mood....makes me happy and enthu enough to want to venture out of the house after hiding under a rock.....

and unfailingly after each visit i promise myself that i will go back on schedule to follow up the next month.... but some promises are made out of a habit..... just like breaking them....even if it is to yourself!!

when it rains.... it pours!!

ok this is a raving rant....so its here that you turn back... else, subject yourself to some domestic ranting.....

i am yet again without a maid...albeit temporarily..... she's had a tragedy in the family and has taken off to the village.... so for the last 5 days, starting monday, i have been without a maid.... with the festivities of diwali, most households have extra work/ people staying over etc, which has meant that the replacement maid (the stepnee who fills in when mine's on leave) has too much on her own plate to help me out even on humanitarian terms..... 

well this isnt the biggest of the messes that have happened.... wait...i will tell you about an avalanche..... 

i hate doing housework..... vessel washing... sweeping and mopping.... i will do it only if there's a gun to my head.... in a household of two adults, its surprising how many dishes we dirty (note to self: cut down on the utensils used in the kitchen you nut!!) .... we eat three home cooked meals a day... atleast mostly... which amounts to a lot of plates, glasses, dishes, serving bowls, cooking vessels, pressure cookers, spoons... oh well... i think you figured that's a lot of dirty dishes.... so every morning now, while i wait for the milk to boil, i am scrubbing dishes..... dont ask me why i dont do it before bedtime... i have a thing about sleeping with smelly hands.... no even if i wash them.... i "think" they're smelling and thats insomnia inducing....

clothes, thank the Lord i have a washing machine.... if there is one thing i hate more than washing dishes, it is washing clothes.... normally the maid does the folding too.... but that i can manage.... yeah i know i pretty much have delegated ALL the work to her.... but hey!! i still cook....

home doesnt show too much of distress when not swept and mopped....so i can live 2-3 days without dusting, sweeping and mopping.....but today is day 5....so i dusted, and swept and mopped.... my wrists are feeling terrible....so are my knees and thighs....and i was out of breath a few times.....but that's because i am so overweight and have zero fitness.... so i will not whine about it....

here comes the bummer!! i ran out of cooking gas this morning....  dont have a spare cylinder..... AND my microoven conked off a week ago and has gone for repair.....which means in the middle of a delicate saute of onions and tomatoes.... my gas just flickered shut....so now.... that's truly the icing on the cake.... i've called the gas company who've said atleast a week.... and i am not familiar enough with the neighbours to borrow a cylinder.... the service centre said it will be a day before i get back the microoven....so i guess till then i will be ordering food!! or better still it could be the perfect time to go on a fruit diet!! but that's the whole point.... i hate to do something when it isnt my idea.... so a fruit diet because i cant have cooked food isnt such a hot thing right now.....

i'm just hoping i get something in working condition....else poor K will be at the receiving end of this!! 

this makes me feel like i am not in control....that i havent planned enough to have backup.... or simply because i cant have chai when i want.....!! aargghh

see this was really pointless....you still here!! gosh!! now go.... i am signing off too

Season's Greetings

Diwali is officially over…. I am not sure how I feel about it yet…. I didn’t feel like it was diwali while it was here cos essentially K requested for a “no celebrations please” I don’t know why… but I agreed…. So we didn’t light lamps (like I had planned), or have a party (like I had hoped), we just had some good food (isnt that the whole point of festivals anyways?) and watched three awesome movies back to back….cut ourselves away from everyone and everything, for a brief while we watched the fireworks across the cityscape…..but other than that, I think we had the quietest diwali ever…..

I was just interrupted by this weird call….from Airtel broadband, peddling some games on demand…. When I politely said I was not interested…the polite guy asked if he could ask me a question…. I answered yes….he asked me if I was married…to which I said yes….then he asks if I have kids….i say no….then he pauses…. And says….oh…. not yet….. oh ok maa’m…..  if he wasn’t so polite…I’d have bitten his head off…. But I still think this was a weird question to be asked by the provider of an internet service…. I’d rather they check some other way if there are kids in the household!! Weird!!

The global financial situation, i was told by the newspapers, has had its impact on the festivities this year.....from the sounds of crackers, i think it was a lot less than last year....but the newspapers had pages and pages of supplements offering huge discounts on everything from clothes to groceries to furniture and appliances.... i have been abstaining from buying anything since my resolution  to refuse, reduce, recycle and reuse....... anything except groceries that is.... so its been a little over a year now.... and i havent bought anything!! no matter what the temptation...clothes, shoes, home decor stuff, crockery..... nothing.... and i am pretty proud of that!!

Anyways, back to diwali…. apart from the fact that i made chocolates on order in the run up to the festival, we didnt do much.....I donated the rangoli colours I had to some women from our building who didn’t have any and were making a giant community rangoli…. I ended up doing it with them…and it was quite different from my usual just saying hello and walking off!! I think they were more surprised than I was that I stayed and partook of this community thingie!! I also donated a huge box of crackers that I was hoping we’d burst….. they were leftovers from last year…man!! We got soooo many last year…. I gave away the whole box, to my building’s handyman’s kids….i was not very happy that K made me do this….but was glad in the end…..

So that was diwali….pretty nondescript….. but on the brighter side…. I feel very rested…

I hope everyone had a good time…those who planned large scale bashes and those who like us wanted low key ones…. and those who don’t celebrate…. I hope you enjoyed the holidays….

Happy birthday dear one....

i can still hear your voice.... i swear....the shrill "hello" that announced you into a room....i expect you to turn around a corner or rush in from outside, unable to contain yourself or the stories that were almost bursting out of you.....full of tales from the day, about people and places.....even though we'd seen each other a few hours ago, you'd behave like you hadnt seen us for ages.....

from the first time you made an appearance.... to now..... you made sure you left your mark....

you'd never tire of the stories of "when you were small"..... how you pooped chocolate coloured poop when you were carried for the first time....and you were the first official baby to pee on my lap...i was so disgusted....everything you learnt to say...from lala (water) to cala cala annam (lemon rice) was like playing dumb charades.....i still remember how irritated we'd get to take a 'kid' around when we went out....because you were a pain in the behind...and wanted to go to the bathroom at all the wrong times.....how you'd be upset because people were calling you the name of a facecream instead of the shortedned version of your own.....we hated our parents for forcing us to take you around....the three of us, we ganged up....to fight you and to love you....

you were pampered and spoilt...there's no doubt of that.... all you had to do was crook your little finger and all the adults of the house would do your bidding.....

from the kid who followed us around all day, suddenly, you were all grown up.... i remember seeing you with your hair all styled, you'd even begun going to the parlour for your monthly grooming.... too bad we were never the same size....i'dbe left with no clothes on my back....you were delighted when you grew taller.... and i was so upset for so long!! borrowed nailpolish, make up, books.... did i tell you i got hooked onto FRIENDS after you told me it was good....all the while you watched it, i thought it was crazy teen hormones.....

making christmas decorations, having a not so subtle "whose is better"wars, carol singing... and a near obsession for late night ice cream....riding triples to famous on the kinetic honda.....agonising over what clothes to wear for the next wedding....writing long letters to me when i was in hostel...the trip to vizag where you for the first time had an unsupervised by parents holiday with me.....

you were ready for college....you were ready to spread your wings...and by the look of it you were leaving your indelible mark there too.... the never ending stream of friends, the movies, plans and fun.... with the steady stream of girl friends who wanted to be like you, and the young men admirers who wanted to be with you....vyeing for your attention....and yet there you were...holding court....lording it over them....i always called you stubborn...but we knew you knew your mind clearly enough to get what you wanted and nothing else.........somewhere it was a reflection of my own life....just a few years earlier.....

and then it was over....you sure knew how to jump onto the scene, take our breath away, and then disappear.....we ganged up again...this time holding hands to bid you goodbye....becuase we couldnt even stand up straight on our own.....willing somehow for the whole thing to change, for the clock to turn back, and for you to wake up..... over and over again i looked at you, convinced that i had seen you move.....it was unbelievable.....

each day we wonder, what it would be like with you....what would you have to say.... how would you react....for sure you'd have enjoyed the sights and sounds of this new india, the malls would be your mecca followed closely by all the eating options around....you'd have been most delighted that i now make chocolate for a living.... but you, my most ardent fan and critic arent there to sample it.....to make christmas cards with me....to sit in a corner and say unsavoury things about our relatives....to make movie plans....to go shopping with me....to tell me if you approved of K or not...to see us set up our homes.....to do..."stuff" as you called it

we too looked so forward to seeing you blossom into a woman....to make the choices you wanted.....to be someone....to go somewhere.....to do all the things that you were accomplished to do....

and yet you arent here....not around....what is here instead, is the huge hole you left....in our hearts and lives....so bad, that we cant even bear to talk about it....five long years you have been gone..... yet, its like just yesterday.... and i think you will come around the corner....yelling shrilly "hello"

happy birthday sweetheart..... it would have been your 25th.........as always, you took the fireworks with you.....

RIP dear N

incognito

in a bid to be a little more prudent about the information that's out here in the open, i have decided to remove a few details and pictures from here.... i know with a blog address like this which is a dead giveaway, this is the least i can do..... so for those of you who know me otherwise, please know that it is still the same ole me....

its not that i want to create some mystery quotient all of a sudden, but i need to do this to protect my family..... since they make an appearance far too often here....that much i owe them.... if i am making stories of their lives, the least i can do is this.....

i have been reading a lot of blogs these last few days and i realised that in this space of cyber world, each one of us, has found our bearings....fought battles of the mind, found solace and most of all camaraderie and affection that fellow bloggers seem so generous to share.... something that is becoming lesser and lesser in this cynical world we live in....

going potty!!

my days are not filled with work of the office type.......despite the fact that i can choose to do what i want during the course of the day, there are times when i want to do nothing....

so i spent it doing what i love best, powered by the fact that i had been privy to a fabulous roof garden over the last weekend....i spent some time with my potted plants.... pruning, digging and loosening the earth..... each time i do this....the first thing that strikes me is guilt because i have to prune and then throw away the cuttings....i just have no more place to accomodate them anymore... and then i always wonder why i dont manage to remember to wear the pink latex gardening gloves i own.... they're as good as new.... but it doesnt feel the same to be playing in dirt and doing your bit when you're gloved up.... i anyways think of it only when i wash my hands and see the scratches on my fingernails....

i grew up in a house that was on a huge piece of land... in the middle of the city...and we had enough trees...yes trees and not plants.... to have koels and other birds waking us up with cacophony each day.... i would trade places anyday now...thou at that time, i thought it was embarrassing to speak over the phone when birds were having a row in the tree tops...to be asked by freinds on the other side of the phone line, what that noise was....now ask me....trying to shuffle about 80 odd pots of different sizes on my two balcnies....they're spilling out into the corridor and on the parapet wall of the service area too....

brings me to how i started off.... i started with 6 yogurt cups...the ones that hold 200 ml of yogurt.... and soil so hard that it killed off most of the plants!! on one trip, amma filled a plastic bag with some soil from the side of a dug up road...and brought it home...and then we filled the six empty yogurt cups with it and put in some plant cuttings....i was too embarassed to even look at them for days....they looked so silly.... so i went out and bought some plastic pots..... about 12 of the smallest.... no larger than a latte cup..... they looked better than the yogurt cups!! then some more and some more....till i now have about 70... in different sizes.... everytime i go somewhere, its hard not to come back with some plant life.... a bulb, a cutting, some seeds..... hell i even have asked friends to send me seeds.... of exotic herbs they grew....and tantalised me with the pictures....back from a holiday in the hills, i was so excited to come home only to repot and plant my booty of orchids and pepper and a kind of lemon so small but so sour!! they lived for a brief while.... frequent travel (mine and k's) killed them one by one.... 

then another trip, where i paid more for the porter to carry the carton than i did to the nursery i bought the plants from.... roses and crysanthemums and some other lovelies that promised to add colour to my collection....they all died too.... when i went on a holiday and a friend forgot to water them...i dont think she recovered from the guilt for weeks!!

after which i decided on much foliage and no fancy...stuff that would be ok with 3-4 days between watering if the need arose...and this works so well for me!! this is where i am now.... lots of green and colour .... but no more... i mean any more additions will mean i will be seriously jeopardising the state of my marriage!! and i might need another house.... i am waiting for the carpenter to arrive to put up the hanging pots i managed to smuggle into the house without k noticing!! 

i have them in old pickle bharanis, tooth brush holders, broken cups, bottles and some even growing in water.... 

i now have progressed to a few herbs for the kitchen....chillies, curry leaves....and now finally some cherry tomatoes and yellow peppers......and loads of basil sent to me by a blogger friend....

its a place i love to hang out .... its what makes me so happy.....its has always seen my bad moods lift into something better.... its funny, how something like this can make such a big difference....but it does...and its inexplicable (if you havent gotten it by now, that is...)

sure i would like a real garden someday....but for now...this will do....potted and planted and hanging around the house....

K's Labour of Love

So so here it is.........after weeks of cribbing and spilling my gut onto my status messages..... K's Library!! finally done and i hope well worth the pain and money!!

K has wanted a library of his own for as long as i can remember...it is one of those long cherished wishes.....for the last four years now we have gone back and forth between making one, or buying readymade bookshelves.....he saw something that he liked in a bookstore in pondycherry and asked me to replicate it at home.....i would like to think we accomplished it quite well.

the library which began as the simple building of a book case on one open wall in our third bedroom, soon engulfed the whole room, making us tear down the existing wardrobes (sniff....sniff) and going the whole hog..... if you didnt hear about it from me, you were'nt a part of my life as it happened!!

the Library has been built against both walls on either side of the room.  

on the left of the room, a work station sits between two more panels of books. the workstation houses the laptops (hence we have two tiers) and it needs those rectangular wicker baskets on the top shelf to hold the board games, stationery etc....i sacrificed my precious embroidered table cloth to provide cover for the soft board (the white with delicate coffee coloured vines on it). this will be yours truly's home office. it needs a chair as well, that will have to wait for the state of the pockets to get better.

On the right of the room, is another book case with the glass display shelves, that we had to put in because of the pillar that was there....

everything has been polished in walnut. there is our ancient Rattan sofa (tho i prefer to call it the couch), an ancient armchair, a bean bag, one coir stool and one small table....ample seating for those who might want to spend some time inside. we contemplated putting a TV for good measure, but reality in the form of our empty pockets made us exercise restraint.

feedback is very welcome.....although i would really like it if it was limited to praise.....and anyone who has alternative ideas about the seating/furniture or the lack of it/ blinds instead of the curtains etc, are welcome to (a)write me a cheque (b) take me shopping (C) both of the two.....

Congratulations my love....and i hope this was all that you wanted and more!!