blogging on

I've been reading various blogs of people unknown....oh what a fanciful habit it is becoming!! a few known faces sprung up amidst all of this...and you realise, that the one life you thought you were trying to lead that is different from the crowd...is just part of it....the same musings.... introspection..... depression or its imagination..... dilerious moments..... saying a few things in cyber space that you'd never say ever otherwise.....humour..... insecurities....faith....

it also makes me aware of the fact that perhaps we find solace in the nameless, faceless existence of the cyber world....it never fails to amaze me.....

will anyone read this....will it matter?? dont know....

home in focus....

today is day 5 of official home making....since i quit my full time job ....i have been revelling in the fact that i dont have to live by the clock......in an unexpected turn of events....my mind and body have settled rather quickly into a routine that i have never had before....i have begun waking at seven a.m without the aid of the mobile alarm!! have one slightly berserk in doing a few things that i have been almost fantasising about.....one was to finally finish sewing my sheer curtains...the material was a year and a half old...bought on a trip to chennai....languishing in the cupboard....cut and not sewn...it was like a taunt each time i opened the cupboard door....i finally finished sewing them and hung them up....boy oh boy!!

another set for my bedroom and many compliments from the husband later, i decided to put the considerable fabric trimmings to good use, attached a bit of silver lace, and voila!! had a new set of lovely cushion covers for my settee....left me thrilled and wondering what life was i living before this??

have been cooking up a storm.....lately the husband has been complaining that i seek the company of the kitchen more than him!! tried a banan walnut muffin minus the walnut...not bad....also dahi vada's for sunday evening snack.....big hit....

gotto finish some knitting i promised mom as my contribution to a project she's on....as the famous Mc D's line goes.....I'm lovin it

food blogging

mind over matter or is it the matter of the mind?? i have been obsessing over food blogs for the last few weeks ever since i discovered them....(why am i always the last one to know these things??)

it seems like many people have met with unexpected b ut well deserved success at this....lovely....soon food blogs will replace recipe books will they??

i liked quite a few....they seem to have this online party amongst them....makes me want to try my hand at this as well......i have been cooking regularly with various degrees of success for the last few years...especially after the marital knot was tied......i enjoy it and have tried to do it with consciousness....am an incurably chronic food nag.....k will vouch for this...am surprised that plates of food havent been flung at my face thus far while i have been indulging in the act....of nagging that is.....one time compliments dont mean a thing to me....i am a firm believer of pavlov's conditioning....it has to be reinforced like a barricade, or super strong glue!! ask k.....he will tell you and how!!

but like everything else that i do, i tread with caution...thats cos i can't handle failure very well i guess...i like to be successfull every time....i cant accept the fact that i cant do something perfectly in the first attempt.....i am my worst critic.....so i dont try radical stuff....things that may turn out inedible....so far so good i guess....i've barely had a disaster apart from the brick that was meant to be a cake......charred veggies that didnt know what they were before they got into the pan........

am off now to seek some more food blogging inspiration.....

I want to break free

the decision that i was toying with for quite a while has been made finally......i am going to give up my full time job.... finally after returning from my 16 day personal cum business trip to bangalore and pune....

in bangalore i realised what little time i was spending with amma....how she enjoyed my company....no one has made me feel so wanted ever....for whatever reasons....sought my opinion, revelled in my achievements, praised me and generally made me feel like i was one of a kind......

i also suddenly felt a little suspended...with little to do but relax at home....i realised how much the routine run during the week contributed to giving my life purpose....and I didnt exactly like what i was seeing....it is a state of being.....not your entire being....

its something that i have been thinking of for a while and the last project i wanted to finish before i called it a day at my current workplace, and was able to wrap it up nicely in pune......

i was asked the same questions in the retention bid...i said that same things.....

this decision is important to me because it is going to shape the future that i see for myself....it will give me the time to do the things that i currently want to do..... build something for myself that is just mine...reflects most of me....and i hoep i will have the strenght to discover myself more than ever before.....it takes a lot of courage to tell yourself the truth....

i want to write, read, sew, try my hand at several things.....join a dance class, a theatre group....learn pottery.....and think....enjoy some peace and quiet....forget about swiping my card a few minutes late....spend a few more minutes in bed...have a bath in the afternoon!!

i'm thankful that i have the liberty to pursue this.....i know it will put too much pressure on k...especially now...i am grateful that the burden of being the provider isnt on me ..... i love him for this unconditional love...because i know it takes courage to tell a person to spread their wings and take flight....

i may not be successful in my pursuit...i'd rather die trying.....

Random Thoughts

oh it has been a long while hasnt it?? and that i havent posted anything is that i have had nothing in particular to say....from may to now has been quite a while....time spent with a lovely freind who was in town for a vacation.....conversations that the technological world cant facilitate...the look in our eyes when we connected without words...the girly gossip and giggles...of dreams untold and a future unseen..... a trip to see my mom and hopefully nurse her back to better eyesight....an idyllic 10 days well earned and well spent with her.... walks with the dog....liesurely lunches and catching up with friends who i havent seen in a couple of years.....

then duty called me to the dusty and bad roads that infest this city called pune....what a let down....the ride to and from work wasnt bumpy...it was like a roller coaster ride aiming for a slipped disc....comonly pluses were that i got to spend some time with another close friend that i hadnt seen or spoken with in years and a job well done..... for the joy that this gave me i can brave the overrated city called pune once more....

coming back home to hyderabad was never sweeter...ofcourse that i say everytime i head back home.....but believe me, even a ticket bought on a wrong date wasnt going to diter me from heading home....a nd thank god for a husband who is captain cool.....i'd have had a hysterical fit had it not been for him to take charge of things....womens liberation i am a believer of, but this was one time i was glad to just let someone else take the lead......

back home to hyderabad, a withering balcony garden and a hamper full of dirty clothes welcomed me....but like i said ....i'd have gladly embraced anything to welcome me home.....