much ado about a lot of things....

Since the last post, many things have happened........i indulged twice into baking escapades and it has boosted my confidence, giving myself a little more credit and hopefully making me believe that the cake spectacle wasn't just a flash in the pan!!

yesterday while chatting with N, my dear Bostonian friend.....i was telling her how apprehensive i was about beginning anything new and that i am so scared of rejection...who isnt, but in my case, as K says, i give it too much control over my life than it deserves....i am far too affected by public opinion...in fact k keeps telling me, i get hassled over the opinions of people i don't even like!! for starters she couldn't believe what i was saying...apparently (pat on the back) i have done a good job of overcoming it or /and hiding it well!! so then i was thinking all the while i was telling her this about the various things that i want to do, but don't due to various other reasons...mainly being that i chicken out!!

anyways, among many things i have been toying with the idea of conducting a chocolate making class. i attended one in nov and the first thing that struck me is that i can replicate this....i mean i am a trainer and good at explaining and demonstrating....it's pretty simple, but needs loads of patience, plus it's easy on my time too cos i'd do it maybe twice a week or so....everything ruled in favour...i mean i couldnt think of a damn good reason why i wasnt taking the plunge except for the fact that i was chickening out...........so with N online, i mustered up the courage and dashed off an email, asking for a listing in the local paper......once the send button was pressed, there really wasnt anything else to do!! in fact i was haunted by what N said "i mean whats the worst scenario, loads of chocolate for you to eat at home!!" wow it sounded so simple when she said that......now all i have to do is wait, for calls if there are any and then get this show on the road....

this has made me feel good, and suddenly i have lots of things that i want to do and am thinking of..... i mean the fact that my dream of a restaurant isn't going to be fulfilled anytime soon was very shattering to me...so much money, much more than what i can raise has dashed my hopes for now....and starting something on a smaller scale to avoid costs is not going to be worth the effort of time and energy...so that goes onto the back burner till we take a re look next year...if it is the last thing i do before i die!!

writing is going very well. in fact better than what i'd imagined. i need to concentrate a little more and stop playing online games when i am supposed to be writing!! thats a discipline i need to get into my system.......K is still working the nights and sleeping the days....are all writers like this?? hmmm i dont know..... i'll just be so glad when he puts the final fulls top...i mean i am very happy that he is writing and is so passionate about it...but like any wife, i am so concerned that this will totally screw up his body system....the odd hours, the lack of sleep and all that acidity!! i wonder how the other wives's of writers or anyone working odd hours handle this though.....

like our good friend AB who told me this story and insists on calling me Xanthippe, the wife of Socrates, was the only person who'd tell him to stop talking about his philosophy and get to the dinner table...alternatively she'd dunk him with buckets of cold water!! i mean how cool is that....for one it gives me solace that i am not a weird wife, for two, i get to be called Xanthippe which is rather more exotic