i'm listening to a song from the hindi movie Holiday which was a rip off on dirty dancing. one of my all time favourite movies....the romantic junkie that i am i own the dvd and on the first day watched it repeatedly 12 times. it went on from the morning to the evening. i was / am so in love with the patrick swayze of dirty dancing...i think the next two days after i marathon watched this movie, i googled him out and read and digested every bit of information i could lay my hands on......anyways, i haven't watched holiday and though i know it was a big flop and can never be even a patch on the original...i mean dino morea and anjolie.....pardon me but much as i think that dino deserves as much success as a certain john abraham is enjoying right now......it still doesnt make the cut for me....anyways back to the song ....aashiyan ban gaya....is a great song......has fantastic words and a lovely tune....ranjit barot rocks!! i mean had this song been released minus the flop film, am sure it would have become a rage............especially on the dance floor with a remix version....maybe.......

i am very excited about a book i picked for myself....i cant remember the last time i bought a book....but when i saw it on the shelves of Landmark in blore i knew i had to have it....i have Anthony bourdain on my nightstand...no it isn't Kitchen Confidential, but it is the one called 'nasty bits' it'll do for now.....when you look at those dreamy eyes looking at you from the cover of the book...you'll know i am saying the truth when i think he is one of the sexiest 50 yr olds i have ever seen......all 6ft 4 of him and more!! am i gushing already?? i'd better stop!!

just back from bangalore...rachel's doing great and effortlessly made K and me baby talk and was just so pleased with herself at having lorded it over two otherwise sane human beings.....she's just so perceptive and observant...i wonder what would happen if there was a scrolling marquee on her forehead to capture her thoughts.....and boy does she have a mind of her own....i also think that in the not so very distant future, she'll be ready to effortlessly take over the actress mantle from your truly!! she was delighted with the cat cushion i made for her...the two ears are so convenient for her to suck on...its a sight to see her go into raptures when you show it to her in mock surprise!!

the days before we left for bangalore were such a daze......with the chocolate classes, shopping (of course at general bazar)...... sewing the two baby beds and pillows for rachel......i was up till 1.00 am, i also had to wind up a class on saturday that i finally cancelled...dealt with a truant maid, packed and had to clean up .... but it wasnt over when we left home, cos we had a few errands to run including buying some prized cuts for my brother who still cant come to terms with whats available in bangalore....... i was so relieved to be led to my seat on the plane....all i needed was bad weather to stall our landing and go on a merry go around 30000 feet above sea level watching in horror as lightening bounced off the wings of the plane!! i was so happy to finally be 'driven' home!!

i came back with a gift of a hand mixer and am gonna hit the baking books soon!! the only ill of this enthusiasm is that neither K or i need the extra pounds that baking so freely offers.......am also thinking that i should finally get my hair trimmed......its all the way down my back now but could sure do with a couple of snips.....i know i have rambled on and on...but it is my blog isnt it??

Turning a year older....

The chocolate making session was a big hit and I had a sense of satisfaction….I was happy that I finally did something that made me feel brave!! Of course the fact that I ruffled the feathers of the already established chocolate czarina of Hyderabad came as such a shock…I mean I thought all those phone calls the lady in question made to me were out of friendly concern….one doesn’t expect someone who’s an established name in the business and claims that with all the media attention she received and is inundated with requests for sessions, will take the pains to point out that I was said czarina’s student (which I have been proclaiming….) and that I may be new to the business and her more experienced hands may beget better results….K said he couldn’t believe she was even figuring in my thoughts…..but with a few phone calls too many mentioning the czarina, I didn’t think it was a coincidence…..anyways, I am not made of wax and refused to be cowed down…the battle lines are drawn…..post the session I conducted, I have a well rehearsed speech that I give all my enquirers. With Saturday and Tuesday fixed up I have loads to look forward to…..

Two days after first session was moi’s birthday….last year I am ashamed to say that I spent so much time fretting over turning a year older that I missed the fun and made K quite miserable…I think he was ready to sock me and smother me all in one!! This year…..maybe with age and wisdom, I decided that its all in the mind and managed to keep quite calm……infact I was overwhelmed with the number of calls, mails and messages I got….thanks orkut!! I think I spent about 4 hours on the phone and said about a gazillion thank yous…..o I forgot to write about the trip to church……I generally go on the Sunday before my birthday to give thanks for the year gone by and ask for blessings for the year to come…..so I made the trek to the evening service only to find an empty sanctuary…I panicked and was told by the chowkidaar that service begins at 6.30 and there was no need to feel incredulous because I had landed there earlier…anyways, saw a long lost cousin who asked if I would read the bible lesson for the evening and I obliged….then they announced holy communion and I was grateful for the sign….post service…..which seemed to drag on forever….the pastor thought I was new and said so, I embarrassedly told him that I don’t come regularly….this guy is new and is visiting members on their special days and is compiling data on it by collecting it from members….so when I filled in the form he said he would come home the next morning which happened to be birthday to wish and pray for me…I thought he was kidding cos I live quite far…(which is the excuse I make for not going in the first place)…anyways, he arrived on the 9^th on the dot at 7.30, I managed to wake up brush teeth and hair and look less bleary eyed…we had a good chat, he had coffee, cake and prayed and left…I was quie happy…told mom that if anything more, I might just sprout a set of wings and a halo!! To keep himself occupied while I was at church the previous day, K ventured out to buy me a shiny new N70 as birthday gift…..which till date doesn’t work cos of faulty sim card from hutch…..getting it fixed is proving to be a pain….amidst the phone calls and emails and messages, I was quite tired ….K came back home bearing gifts some more a la Santa Claus…there were crystal vases numbering five, a gold etched image of Christ and a Frederique Constant Watch!! Another one!! His watch fetish will get to me soon….went out for a quiet dinner with friends and thus ended the big bang of a birthday……………

Amidst the sessions, the writings and the cleaning up of house, I’ve had no time to Blog…..hence this is a summary of sorts……I finally met up with A yesterday…..we’d been on conversant terms at the previous place of employment and she was always someone I felt I should have spoken to a little more…we all tend to get buried under our work…anyways, we had the most unpretentious conversations in a long time (for me at least) over pasta, cheesecake and brownie!! I had a long shopping list and was planning to hit general bazaar post lunch….had to stock up on chocolate making supplies plus things to buy for the Bangalore trip next week………conversation with A culminated in the both of us going together….I had such a good time….we had so much in common…we’re both sort of at the same stage in life and share similar interests in hobbies…crafts, sewing etc…I mean sort of Jane of all trades types….poor thing carried bags almost heavier than her!! We’ve made plans for a few other things that we need to get done….and thought tackling them together would be less painful………I was so thrilled that I finally got to see what a china bazaar looks like from inside…I mean K would’ve killed me had I ventured close to it when he was around!! It has taken me a better part of two hours today to sort out and put away all the stuff I bought yesterday!! Current status of my pantry is LOADED!! And I have to cook continuously for the next whole month to ensure I finish off everything!! Infact I’d better hit the sack now, cos today has been one of those hyper active days for me…….Post the marathon settling and arranging the kitchen and pantry, I made about 2 kgs of chocolate…I had offered to make a small hamper for the people the priest visits as my contribution and I have to take them to him tomorrow….making, packing in foil and making the hampers took almost 3 hours…this will hopefully be a monthly activity…….the hampers look damn cute….all packed and pretty…I hope people like the chocolate as well……I made jam tarts with my new tart moulds and baked a chocolate brownie…..didn’t feel like cooking after this so ordered in….my flavor of the month seems to be dal makhni and veggie do pyaza!! This post has taken the next day to finally get published…while I write this I am totally kicked about the new toy I have….a brand new multi function printer, scanner, copier to make my little home office complete…yay!! Now I don’t feel like I am pretending to work anymore!! Its all set up and I even took my first batch of photocopies for tomorrows chocolate making class!!

fresh beginnings and world chocolate day!!

i couldnt have begun on a more auspicious day for chocolates!! apparently today is world chocolate day!! how cool is that?? Amma called this evening for a blow by blow update on how my first class was today and after i gave her the details that were threatening to take as long as the class did, she told me that today was "world Chocolate Day" ...(i had no idea we had days like this!!) so i think i got off to a good start...i had two people today. today's session was actually held on the request of an old colleague, so i had it from 9-12 and another lady responded from the ad in the paper and joined in.......till late last night i was up doing stuff....getting things ready and laying out all that i would need.....the last time i did this it was casual and never charged for it, now that that equation has changed, i think i had jitters on whether i'd be able to do justice.....

but whatever jitters i did have disappeared once i began....cos once a trainer always a trainer!! i always said in all my sessions that anytime of the night or day, if there was one place that i enjoyed being in, it was the training room....and there i had 3 dreamy eyed people, weaving chocolaty fantasies around what i was saying!! i was happy that i had an enthusiastic bunch and they were as excited as the kids they'd left behind!! Since it was a small group, everyone participated and we were absolutely on scheduled......made the chocolates, wrapped and packed them and before i realized, session 1 of round II was over!!

i have a session lined up for Tuesday and one on Saturday with registrations for both. i plan to have two per week, one on the weekend and one on weekdays for the benefit of working and non working people.....thats how things are going to progress.....

having slept barely 5 hours yesterday, once i cleaned up and had lunch, i hit the sack for a nap and had a lovely afternoon siesta....as woke up my first thoughts were....i could really get used to this!! i had to answer all the inquiry calls i missed since i wasn't answering the phone while the session was on...then i called both the mothers of the family with a full report....to day that they were very happy is an understatement....i think they were more concerned about the fact that i should'nt overwork myself...(yeah ...and this is when i have just started!!)....

anyways, the day was eventful and a good beginning to something more i hope...i'm looking forward to my next session on tuesday.........till then, happy chocolate day!!

much ado about a lot of things....

Since the last post, many things have happened........i indulged twice into baking escapades and it has boosted my confidence, giving myself a little more credit and hopefully making me believe that the cake spectacle wasn't just a flash in the pan!!

yesterday while chatting with N, my dear Bostonian friend.....i was telling her how apprehensive i was about beginning anything new and that i am so scared of rejection...who isnt, but in my case, as K says, i give it too much control over my life than it deserves....i am far too affected by public opinion...in fact k keeps telling me, i get hassled over the opinions of people i don't even like!! for starters she couldn't believe what i was saying...apparently (pat on the back) i have done a good job of overcoming it or /and hiding it well!! so then i was thinking all the while i was telling her this about the various things that i want to do, but don't due to various other reasons...mainly being that i chicken out!!

anyways, among many things i have been toying with the idea of conducting a chocolate making class. i attended one in nov and the first thing that struck me is that i can replicate this....i mean i am a trainer and good at explaining and demonstrating....it's pretty simple, but needs loads of patience, plus it's easy on my time too cos i'd do it maybe twice a week or so....everything ruled in favour...i mean i couldnt think of a damn good reason why i wasnt taking the plunge except for the fact that i was chickening out...........so with N online, i mustered up the courage and dashed off an email, asking for a listing in the local paper......once the send button was pressed, there really wasnt anything else to do!! in fact i was haunted by what N said "i mean whats the worst scenario, loads of chocolate for you to eat at home!!" wow it sounded so simple when she said that......now all i have to do is wait, for calls if there are any and then get this show on the road....

this has made me feel good, and suddenly i have lots of things that i want to do and am thinking of..... i mean the fact that my dream of a restaurant isn't going to be fulfilled anytime soon was very shattering to me...so much money, much more than what i can raise has dashed my hopes for now....and starting something on a smaller scale to avoid costs is not going to be worth the effort of time and energy...so that goes onto the back burner till we take a re look next year...if it is the last thing i do before i die!!

writing is going very well. in fact better than what i'd imagined. i need to concentrate a little more and stop playing online games when i am supposed to be writing!! thats a discipline i need to get into my system.......K is still working the nights and sleeping the days....are all writers like this?? hmmm i dont know..... i'll just be so glad when he puts the final fulls top...i mean i am very happy that he is writing and is so passionate about it...but like any wife, i am so concerned that this will totally screw up his body system....the odd hours, the lack of sleep and all that acidity!! i wonder how the other wives's of writers or anyone working odd hours handle this though.....

like our good friend AB who told me this story and insists on calling me Xanthippe, the wife of Socrates, was the only person who'd tell him to stop talking about his philosophy and get to the dinner table...alternatively she'd dunk him with buckets of cold water!! i mean how cool is that....for one it gives me solace that i am not a weird wife, for two, i get to be called Xanthippe which is rather more exotic

I saw the Sunrise

I’ve had one of the most beautiful, serene, magical beginnings to a day today…..i cant remember another time that I have felt like this when a day begins and I know that it isn’t often that this will happen to me, mostly because I am not a morning person….am not an early riser and I cant remember the last time I woke up before mid morning for half the world’s people…and since quitting work, there isn’t any compulsion either….

If you have been reading older posts you will know that K is keeping odd hours and I have been having listless sleep…today began in a similar fashion….i woke up around the time he came to bed…and within a few minutes I was wide awake and he fast asleep…..i hoped that I would drift back but no such luck….all I could think of was the steady rhythm of breath that only comes from one in deep slumber land…I was jealous and quite miffed…like it had been taken from me and given to another on a silver platter….tossing and turning, covering my ears (which works if all else fails) didn’t work and I just lay there waiting for either sleep or some sign of day break….(I am chicken….terrified of the dark) after a vain battle of two hours and a headache threatening a grand arrival and extended stay, I mustered enough courage to get up from bed….open the doors and pull back the curtains……I am about to describe as best as I can what hit me after that…..

There is something about how early morning sounds and smells…it doesn’t smell or sound that way for the rest of the day for sure…..it wasn’t dawn yet…my!! I never thought I’d use that word, let alone experience it….but it perfectly describes the time when the sun isn’t here yet but there’s hints of light…..having gotten my bearings, I contemplated putting on my shoes and going for that promised walk…. I chose against it and wisely I think now…..i made myself a steaming cup of tea and sat in the ‘other’ balcony…the one we use much lesser than it deserves….simply because it faces the east and I didn’t want to miss the spectacular show the sun was going to put up…so there I was at 5.30 a.m sipping chai…listening to this particularly noisy and boisterous gaggle of swallows on the eucalyptus nest door….with the chill that the monsoons have brought in…waiting for the sun to show….and nothing prepared me for what I saw…..its 6.15 a.m as I write this…and the sun is playing hide and seek with the clouds…brilliant hues one minute and gone the next…every myriad hue from flame to brilliant white I have watched in the last 30 minutes….i am not tempted to do anything else….not read, not surf, not talk to anyone……I’ve been sitting here and soaking up this experience…even the noise from the trucks that drive by on the highway nearby seem in perfect harmony…….I don’t think there’ll be an encore for a long time now…I don’t wish for one too….perfection shouldn’t be repeated….thats the magic…….its bright now….there’s no blazing sunlight but a brightness that’s perfect….its cool and breezy…and these birds do know how to sing a chorus allright!! Solitude has never been so blessed for me ever before ………

Random thoughts from here and there

Owing to the mad hours K is keeping with his writing…..I too have been up at odd hours till I finally give up and hit the sack…..i have been watching an obscene amount of TV…..i almost never switch it on and it is one thing that is good because we don’t fight over the remote control…..i tend watch mostly the travel and living channel from discovery and I think I would like nothing better than to be paid to travel, eat and discover the world…..it makes for a pretty smashing fantasy anyways!! There was this program on Bombay anchored by a lady of Indian origin and she encounters these hijras on the streets….intrigued, she talks to them….visits their home, sings and dances, goes shopping and even crashes a wedding with them….she said at one point “for a woman trying to be a man dressed as a woman, I think I did pretty good!!” now how about that…what I like is that she wasn’t judgmental and that the hijra spoke impeccable english, grammar and accent that would give a V&A trainer a run for their money!! One of these days, if this telly watching continues, it wouldn’t be uncommon to find me in a pool of my own drool after one of the programs on vacation homes or the like………

My pastime of reading blogs too is dangerously perched on borderline obsessive……..i have bookmarked so many pages that my computer is beginning to groan…I find it fascinating to read what others write of their life….more fascinating than blogging myself actually!! I quickly scamper off to the dozens of blogs I read…am gleeful when there is a new post and quite upset when there isn't…..is this some voyeuristic pleasure?? I wonder….. also bordering on obsessive are the card games I am playing on-line…I just have to win every game and restart if I land up at a dead end…I ought to go out and play badminton instead…all this sitting in front of the computer isn’t good for my burgeoning weight!! Which hey by the way has reduced by 2 kgs!! Hurrah!! I think this isn’t so bad after all …..i mean spend all your time in front of the computer so that you forget to cook and are so hungry you just grab some cereal or carrot or some such thing that was totally off putting while you were leading a normal life!! this seems to be a better strategy than all the diets and walking that I have tried and failed at……….miserably at that……

The rains have waterlogged a few plants and have totally irritated some of the ones that don’t like so much water…to protect them I have draped them with cut open bags from K's book buying spree…and fastened them with clothes clips….i think this is what killed a cactus type of plant with star shaped leaves and I think the orchid is on its way to rest in peace!! Meanwhile the table roses and the bachili that I planted are enjoying themselves…I think I shall harvest the bachili this week…..the chilly saplings that were a result of cleaning out my masala petti are doing better than I gave them credit for…..i am waiting to see where and what they will do next…..

In the meanwhile, this is going to be my last week before I turn a year older…yeah the birthday’s round the corner and it will be interesting to see how I react…i usually get a little paranoid around this time of the year…I am wondering if I should have a party….but when you have to do almost everything, it isn’t such an exciting prospect….if not anything I hope to be able to finish a few things that have been on my to do lists forever now…….

Like I said with the heading of this post…I am really not trying to say anything in particular with this post……afterall, my blog is titled random thoughts isn’t it?