Christmas

k and i got back early this morning from bangalore after Christmas......as usual the fog in Delhi delayed the flight from bangalore to Hyd!! after many years we travelled to bangalore by a semi sleeper bus...tho touted as a luxury bus, i must say regardless of how much you can push back a seat, it isnt the same thing as being on a train....i love train travel.....the trip was much anticipated by my family and tho i'd have liked a few days to recover from the strain of organising K's surprise bday party....we didnt have a choice, with the 23rd and 25th being so close!!

its always the case when you are with family and worse so over a festive weekend, that all you seem to do is eat, sleep, eat, try to recover from all the eating and sleeping and then do it again!!

we also spent a tonne of cash...(as is becoming a habit) K dropped the battery and cover of his motorazr in an open drain and that was the end of a year long association....so we had to shop for a phone....and i had been hankering after a digital camera....so we finally made the committment and picked one up from gk vale.....i was so happy....almost salivating at my christmas gift.....i told K with all the travelling and purchases (some needed and mostly needless ones) for ourselves and the house, this has been one expensive year for us.....he just smiled and indulgently exclaimed...it has been a year well lived.....

so we touched base last night and since our car was with a friend rode home in a taxi...i sat in an ambassador after quite a while.....had a lovely night's rest and thanked god that i didnt have to wake up and rush to work......K has had to do that unpleasant thing while he left me at home to unwind, unpack and set things in order......

with Silus baby set to make an appearance in the first week of jan.....we're all waiting.....i hope she has an easy time......

the bestest compliment in a long time!!

yay!! the best thing that anyone can tell a woman who has been wanting to lose weight forever.....is "have you joined a slimming centre? cos you have lost so much weight!!"!!

(the process begins in your mind) i have spent months....calculating how much weight i would have lost by the present day if i had started a routine or worked on a plan since a day that has gone by...usually its a few weeks.......i have been imagining, calculating, planning, praying and begging in my mind but have'nt done what i really need to .....workout and control the intake of food.....cut to last week....i came back from bangalore after stuffing myself as i usually do when i am there and at my mom's place.....i have begun to face the perils of having my weight affect my health now and have had a nasty ache in my knees for a few months......its shocking!! the image that you have of yourself and what you really are.......there was a time when i had to buy clothes in the childrens section as i couldnt find my size in the adults....that was almost a decade ago.....but the rapidity with which the weight hits you when you are looked at and the shop guy reccomends an XL!! when people refer to you as "that plump girl" it shatters the best of us.....and so it happened to me......i know i am not a reed....but i hadnt realised that i was more than plump.......

so for the last 10 days, i have stopped obsessing about food....i am not cooking much to avoid temptation......it helps that K also is sick of my food supply!! and i have decided that atleast one meal of the day will comprise of idlies!! and the loathsomely lazy me has begun a 20 mintute brisk walk routine every evening!! the results are very satisfying......

saturday evening we went to a party and a very lovely compliment was paid to yours truly.....the weighing scale says 4 kgs...but i am unwilling to celebrate just yet....i shall not rest until i reach my targetted weight....and with all the christmas decorating that i have been doing....th knee pain has reduced a little...way to go girl!!

The mind going astray.......

i have tonnes of things to do....to straighten up....in my mind and otherwise too.......i realise that i am liking my solitary state...there are times when i wish i could be like that for longer periods of time....i am beginning to crab out when there are people around me....is this good or bad?? i realise that i can do exactly what i want when i am with myself......this week and the next always seem like the fastest ones to pass...when there are tonnes of things to do.....

i have made lists and then some....but i can never seem to go9 about them like i have planned out....the plans seem perfect on paper and perhaps thats where they shall remain!! the newspaper i spread out on the counter to catch spills while i am working always seems to have the one interesting article i missed out.....one thing leads to another and i lose track of what i set out to do....is this a span of attention issue?? i dont know.....i have christmas cards to make and post, the tree to put up, decorations to hang, a party to plan for, clothes to be tailored before the 24th...tickets to book, people to meet....and what am i doing?? reading the newspaper spread on the counter top!! yesterday this happened and i felt like the time when i was in school....the day before the exam is the day i want to organise and dust my study table and books...spend half the day doing that, then catch a nap that i cant wake up from and then panic.....

i watched "kabul express" yesterday....it was such a dissappointment......this was one that was on the airwaves for such a long time that it had to have me watch it first day albeit second show.....firstly let me say that maybe yashraj films publicity blitzkreig assaulted my senses to the extent that i expected a masterpeice....fault number one of my high expectations is something that i shall admit to......the cinematography is breathtaking.....the ravages of war make you cringe......but it ends there.....any thing else that you are looking for will not oblige you with its presence......firstly the script.....what was the writer thinking about?? in an attempt to give a human face to its characters, taliban, journos etc they make comic characters that are as out of place as noodles at MTR's...the corny one liners are so artificial and the most chilling opportunities are passed up for nonsensical dialogue......john abraham is seriously misplaced and has the same expression he had all thru a movie called garam masala....he looks and acts like the class dunce......arshad warsi is as good as the director wants him to be.....in the end you dont have an issue, you dont tackle one, you dont get your hands dirty, you fall flat on your face....and no there's no osama....the claims of which is what perhaps brought audiences into the theatre.....and no the attempt is not enough......to translate something of this satture onto the big screen and make sense of it all is clearly out of kabir khan's league......he doesnt know what he wants to present.....looks like all he did was googled for taliban and made a movie based on the search results......he needs to train with the most average director making documentaries for discovery or history or the natgeo channels to know what kind of research goes into tackling an issue of this sort.....of mounting a movie on it....pathetic....makes you sick.....its a joke......i must say that the producers have done a good job of selling the movie though.....thats why we bought tickets in the first place....but they'll get what they deserve......empty halls by monday morning.....this express aint getting anywhere....

I've been at it!!

yesterday was like a pilgrimage....you want to do it, look forward to it and something holds you back....yet when you finally embark on it, it seems perfect......it was like that with my chocolate making class....i have hounded the lady that conducts these classes for the better part of 2 months and finally made it yesterday....it was fun and all the imaginations of rocket science went where they belonged....out the window!!

today in a frenzy i accompanied K on his way to work.....dropped off at the wholesale market and armed with my shopping list, bought myself an awesome load of choco making supplies.......moulds, raw material, packing material and the works!! walked a little down the lane and in pure greed bought a tonne of christmas decoration ......i can do up two trees with what i have now!! got back home and surveyed the damages....there was this eagerness mixed with trepidation...what if i make a mess.....what if i set the chocolate on fire? what if i just totally flop? should i wait for K to get back home for moral support till i begin to finally do what i have been fantasising about?? all these questions going through my head and i had to admit i was dying to try it out....so i spread some old newspaper on the kitchen counter top......set up my supplies and begin.....i'll tell you that it was very scary to begin.....once i got the hang of what i was doing....it all happened very quickly....i made some marbled shell chocolates, plain mounds and one set with nuts.......i was very happy with the results but had some leftover melted chocolate.....so added about 3/4 cup maida, 1/3 cup cooking oil, sugar, baking pwd and whipped it up and set it in a muffin tray.....voila......lovely cupcakes.....i havent been this pleased with myself in a few weeks now!! i'm so happy....as i type this out, am waiting for K to come and pronounce his verdict.....!!

unlimited randomness and the ending of the year..............


no this wasnt the title i had wanted........this isnt happening to me.......i spent 2 hrs on a post and then lost it because i had disconnected the net!! i can cry right now........

i was musing about how it now is the retail segment, from the mithai wala around the corner to the huge malls that now tell you what season it is, time of the year, festival etc....that santa jostles for space with the dried mango leaf thoran.......that i wish this goes beyond the surface and we really become tolerant with faith/religion or the lack of it........

this year is almost at the end....what a year it has been.....the most significant is my leap of faith in giving up my job!! infact it is K's leap of faith.......its one thing to say "do what your heart wants" but another thing to actually support your partner in that journey..........i feel selfish and guilty by turns....but am loving it!!

amma's month long trip here was perhaps her happiest ever......even if i say so myself....we went relative and friend visiting, shopping (at charminar......it thrills me each time, bargain hunting and the stuff....whew) and then some, repotted the plants on my balcony.....added some more....i now have about 70!! made baby clothes (brother and sillu are expecting in jan) spent time together.....went to visit her closest cousin in rajahmundry in andhra......she's suddenly hit you with her 83 years...such a shock since i saw her only last year.....i'm glad we went......a grand lady who's the most famouse obs gyn with a frcog and has delivered half the population of the district....has been a sportswoman, been in a live in relationship and has 2 adopted daughters.....wow...she was always a lady to admire.........glad we spent time with her......

the one thing that intrigues everyone we meet or those who came over to visit when amma was here......the question that i was asked the most.....why i quit a perfectly good job.......well the real reason that i didnt want to do it anymore isnt good enough i believe.....everyone always thinks that there has to be some other reason....that i didnt do well, didnt get along with my boss, am pregnant, and better still!! the next obvious question that follows with surgical precision is how am i spending my time........well lets see....am busier than i was when i was working......i am cleaning the house, kitchen, cupboards, cooking, feeding people, shopping for everything i need and dont need, surfing the net, reading the classifieds section of the 2 newspapers i buy, baking, taking salsa and chocolate making classes, pottering in my balcony, making baby clothes, writing and reading, painting, sleeping and watching bigg boss, having real conversations with K, meeting friends, watching old movies.......and this isnt enough....well i never cared for public opinion....so i smile....and say, "i'm just relaxing at home"......this ticks them off further and i thrill at it!!

i have so much to say and i know that i am rambling on......i will be at it again for sure....i just think that i am so content right now....and thankfull for all of this.......