Wednesday, November 3, 2010

drawing the line

how much should you get involved in another person's life? your parents, kids, siblings, friends? where do you draw the line? how do you decide how much is too much? offlate these questions have been in my head....a friend shares something with you and you want to say something....should you express yourself honestly or shut up and just appreciate even if those complimentary thoughts are not yours? if you are really close, should you say exactly what you feel/ mean or worry that the friend will be hurt? Lately i feel everyone including myself has become very touchy about everything. 

where are the rules when people have different opinions on careers and religion and expenses and relationships? I feel stifled and cant seem to say stuff without the thought at the back of my head that i would be hurting someone...or coming across as judgemental (when i am not). 

I've gotten into situations where i have had very strong opinions...and after i have said something, i am consumed by the anxiety of having hurt the other people in the conversation....and if i havent said anything, i've felt so restless, i've had to meditate.... its not been a good situation to be in....

I recently read this book called crucial conversations... it presents a step by step process to make a conversation work when it turns crucial...it could be with your spouse, parent, work situation and anywhere else that a conversation becomes crucial.... at work we've found this model very useful and have designed a program around it.... I am trying to use the model and i can tell you its helped me.

2 comments:

shilpa said...

liking the new title!
I was nick named 'shilpa of the tongue' in college for all the times I put my foot in my mouth! I also know, I haven't changed much over the years :D

bibhash k jha said...

I think there is no universal line. You always present yourself more or less in a way so that the person before you is comfortable and happy with you .
Well, i will have to read the book though :)

Theatre of the Absurd