Where has the year gone?

suddenly i am all sad that this year is almost at its end.....its been a good year for us...both k and i have been able to exorcise personal and professional ghosts.... i am so happy and proud of all his achievements....i'm happy that workwise he is in a zone he wants to be in and is happy touchwood....

i have bravely begun to shake off the lethargy of diwali...yeah i know it was a looong time ago...but hey that's why its called lethargy!! i put myself on a healthier food plan from today.....binging as i did the past few weeks, it was becoming difficult to live with myself.....each weekend for the last 4, we have been eating out.... at first it is nice...especially since we went out to new places that we've not tried out before....then it began to tempt me and the icing on the cake was lunch buffet with a friend....while i was there at the buffet table, i could sense my system recoiling at the thought (and sight) of food.....so i will go back to my rice only on weekends....lots of fruit and juices and k has surprisingly asked for sprouts so that should be a welcome change..... i have already shed a kilo, so that is encouraging.........

updates on life in general

I just can’t figure out how to activate a header on this site...I don’t know if i have missed something very obvious or what...it irritates me that the entire first sentence gets picked up as a header.... if someone can help me on this, please do so.....

I had my midweek chocolate making class at a friend’s place in secbad.....partly because I couldn’t get out of commitments made to people who'd called and enquired....(there was a misprint in the Advt about the location) and more cos I thought this was possibly the only way I would honor a long standing invite to lunch at this friend’s place….we had a great time….she has a lovely home….her taste and eye for detailing shows in everything…. I’d also told her that almost everything had a story to tell…from the vases to the knick knacks….fabulous food, girlie talk and a round of shopping to complete your day…what more can a girl ask for…. Btw every time I go to general bazaar to shop, I end up buying what looks like half of the street….i am surprised that a goods carrier didn’t stop by when we called out for an auto!!

The first day of the last month of 2007 has come and gone and I did something very significant personally that I am very proud of……….at the start of this year, there were many things that I wanted to do and achieve, I am quite a sucker for resolutions (of course I never keep them…. Kind of explains how “lose weight” has been on the list forever)…..but its my way of keeping things on my mind and reminding me that I have “miles to go before I sleep”………mostly, by the time we finish half a year, my conscience begins to prick me and I usually succeed in stifling and drowning the irritating thing…this year, very importantly I needed to venture into an activity that would give me something to do that I enjoyed, bring in some cash so I didn’t have a helplessly financially dependent look on my face all the time….drive a car ( you hardly call driving on traffic free roads driving………….), get a driver’s license and get a passport (!! Yes I still don’t have one!!)

Of these, the first one I have conquered to some extent…. I finally ran out of excuses and started my chocolate making class……….. its kept me busy, given me some earnings and most importantly helped me get over my abnormal fear of failure and rejection…..i now have had a fabulous second half of the year, and have some ideas for more stuff that I want to do………..on the last day of nov, I finally enrolled myself in a driving school…its just been 2 days but I am doing well…..before the end of the year I will hopefully be able to drive on my own and get a license as well…………as for the passport, I have yet to apply…………….

something that wasnt on my 'to-do' list, but what i did anyways to great personal satisfaction, has been the writing of my cooking blog....... i began this one last year, but the cooking blog i began around the same time as my classes....its done pretty well for itself... it gives me better motivation to do lots of innovative things and i have had the opportunity to find similarly minded people...........

It makes me happy and I am glad that for once I am not berating or flagellating myself….. I feel a sense of accomplishment and confidence…I am not as crabby as I used to be…. I love my life this year…..

Losing weight…I shall leave for next year!!

Domestic Goddess!!

domesticity can sometimes get the best or the worst of us....and it has nothing to you with your marital status or the lack of it......its just that sometimes domesticity is like a canvas of an artist and something that we are in complete control of.... we do up our homes and maintain them the best we can, establish systems to run them smoothly...cook, clean and basically never grown up from our favourite childhood game of "playing house" .... we love it when people pay us compliments and tell us that we keep it well... we love it, bask in it and our cup runneth over!! i'm no different i guess...this morning's rant is because there is a fly in my overflowing cup......my cell phone weilding maid is as integral to my domestic pride as my ego!! she's the one who executes all that i cant.... i especially hate doing house work....i wash clothes and neaten up after she leaves, i also love pottering in the kitchen...hey i am a food blogger!!....but give me one too many days of vessel washing and you've gotten yourself one crabby woman!! boy!! god really must love you to see you through this all!! ask K, somedays he wont even know what's hit him when the crab in me takes over like a mutant.....i just wonder just sometimes as to what i would do if i didnt have devi(current one), or padma, rama or the scores of other women who have restored my pride ....ofcourse if i know there wont be anyone to clean the plates and the pressure cooker after me.... my use of them would change drastically..... with the dredging going on in the 9 acre plot next door, it hasnt helped the dust that settles on everything.....those are the two vital things that can absolutely propel me into a foul mood.... coming back to cell phone weilding Devi, she took leave for a few days because she wanted to go see her mother who wasnt well, when i inquired as to what had happened, she said her mother had been under the influence of "black magic"........this meant travel back to her native place and she brought in a temporary replacement....for which i was sooooo thankful, because this seldom happens.....i cant ask for the moon and was happy for this much...yes i believe in counting my blessings..... but over the weekend we didnt have much for her to do so i sent her away, on sunday she saw the house locked as we stayed over at S's....which meant that i have a sinkful of dirty dishes and an unswept floor that are both staring at me.....telling me to do something..... else all the tall claims that i have silently made will be crushed to death.... it begins to deplete your self worth and then everything you have identified with comes to a naught....

there's this unexplained trait we have...we take pride in doing what we're doing at home....like i said before it is our canvas...yet when things as mundane as the maid not turning up happens, it can send you into a tizzy...suddenly you begin to measure yourself against soiled dishes.....you begin to think that you are the only one slaving around the house while the better half prefers to plaster himself in front of the TV (no matter if he's put it on a few seconds ago) , that you've given up everything to take care of the home and hearth and here you stand, unappreciated infront of a sinkfull of dirty dishes.... you try silent forms of protest....like sulking...and banging things on the countertop a little more than usual......hoping that the one growing roots on the couch with notice.... he doesn't ....(haven't we been told that men can never understand anything unless it is as subtle as a sledgehammer??)...and we sulk some more.....

we think of all the missed opportunities...all that we've given up for where we choose to be....generally feel like the martyr...and oh boy, revel in this.....we feel taken for granted by everyone at every stage of life...and the final nail in the coffin being taken for a royal ride by the maid.....the fact of the matter being, most often when the maid is back and you've screamed at her...and the housework is done and everything on your canvas is back in shining order..... we're still sulking.....and still being crabby....

P.S: this happens to me....i generally vent on K, poor baby...cant understand why i am so agitated about domestic mundaneness.... but i thought i'd spare him since i had the blog..... the replacement temp maid is back while i type this and i can hear her washing the vessels.... my ego and sanity are slowly being restored

P.S: no in my sanity i dont measure myself against the dust on the curios......but well....i sometimes love to sulk....its like meditation....

a short stop to say hello

its been ten days since my last post and since this isnt necessarily a chronicle of my life, i havent felt compelled to write.....the fact remains though that i have limited access to the one computer K and i jointly own....in a few days though, that's all going to change....a brand new addition that can launch a rocket is expected...
temperatures in hyderabad dipped to 11 Celsius and its getting increasingly difficult to tell myself to get out of bed....no i dont want to be in a hill station, i love the hyderabadi weather....actually i love the fact that we dont have extremities of anything, but a little sneak peak...its like an assorted bread basket at a restaurant....i'm loving almost everything except having to anoint myself atleast twice a day with vaseline and body lotion...sometimes the dry skin causes me to wake in the middle of a cosy nap and slap on some moisturiser....
watched bluff master of the recent movie fame on tv this evening.....i think the script of this movie and the screenplay are near perfect.....i also think priyanka chopra is a darn good actress.....apart from the fact that abhishek bachchan with his then new stubble looked his smashing best...i just think i'd rather see him without it for now...its beginning to grate my nerves...not to mention give me an eyesore...

Reminiscing

its the day after our wedding anniversary...we were four yesterday....today's the day of our reception...the one that many friends contributed to because we weren't able to access the money that was supposed to pay for the reception...so the day we married in court, we drove from friend to friend, collecting as much as they could spare...i remember thinking why in blooming heaven's name I'd insisted on the reception.....today's the day K and i spent at the wedding hall overseeing every arrangement till 5 pm before we rushed off to our respective homes to get dressed....around this time, we were tiredly posing for the photographer with fake smiles and K spewing expletives and me thinking "oh god he's ruining my wedding photos".... we got to take off my heels and his suit jacket only another hour later.... we began eating without the customary feeding each other, because K was too hungry and hated the smell of henna on my hands....

K's been so busy with a project that i am just thankful he comes home at all....even if it is at 3 a.m, so it would have been the worst thing i could have done to nag him and make him pick out a celebration....yesterday was D day for his project....he was thankful that i didn't pout and simper ...i was just grateful that he didn't forget and go out of town like the year before....he came home quite early and spent till the early morning on the phone and on the computer....

for all those who asked me what the celebrations were, i said "we had a quiet time together" ...which we did....chatted for a while before i went to bed, leaving him with his work....

celebrations can wait for every day of our life that we spend together.... i am just grateful for finding him....... for it was so easy not to see him beneath the friend I'd known for so long.....i am just grateful for the love that we share.... for the time we spend together... and apart.....i am thankful that he never wants to see another place in this world without me by his side.... i am thankful that his love encompasses me at all times..... i am thankful that we let each other be the person that we are and haven't suffocated each other..... i am grateful that we are able to really talk to each other....i am thankful that he is my best friend..... i am thankful that we don't always agree...but agree to disagree.....when all else around me is crazy and doesn't make sense...when i am tired and scared, frustrated, angry or sad...i am happy, delirious and totally mad....K is by my side....everything looks less daunting when he is around...and he says that of me too......i know when he says that he cant do without me, he means it.....i am just thankful that we found each other..... in this day and age, when somethings don't make sense...when tempers fly and everything including relationships and marriage are fleeting, when a reducing threshold of tolerance is making everything disposable.....i look forward to growing old with K by my side...and i celebrate everyday i have with him, because i know it is something so precious...and that i have been blessed, because not everyone can celebrate the way i do......Amen!!