A few weeks ago, I turned a year older….nothing earth shattering either way…but around the time of completing another year, I kind of retrospect ….. the usual questions, the usual and sometimes painfully not so usual answers…..where am I, where do I want to be, what am I doing etc etc…..i do this every year….sometimes again before any big decision….and I noticed that the heart didn’t race as much as it used to…..i didn’t agonize, I didn’t fret….importantly I wasn’t looking for someone to blame……i wondered if it was lethargy / age (god you must think I am a dinosaur the way I go on and on)/or a plain lack of interest…..it was none….i realized there was no hyperventilating because I somehow, seem to be (touchwood for Chrissake) just in the place I want to be…I am in a happy place….and I am thankful and grateful for that…….there are no agendas and no nothing to drive me crazy, make me want something that I don’t have…..i am at peace with where I am and what I am doing and importantly I love my life just the way it is (now I think I can give up the ghost!!)…..really….finally I am able to say this and appreciate what I have.
Its going to be four years in our current home now and when I look at pictures that we’ve taken over the years of the house, I am shocked at all the stuff I have accumulated, linen, crockery, books and magazines, bric brac….clothes…..shoes!! (I am so guilty of this) most of which just sits on shelves without being used…..most of it, I don’t even know that I have……the more I see, the more I want to buy….greed….lust….i don’t know what……I was brought up in a regular middle class home, while we were always given the best my parents could afford, we were always told “waste not, want not”….i hated it …..i felt for most part, I was the camouflage my folks used to cover the fact that they couldn’t afford many fancier things that richer kids had…..infact, my brother and I nicknamed my mother “Recycle Rani”…..she’d try her best to use up leftovers innovatively…..not just food, packing paper, clothes, shoes….you name it and she’d have a use for it…..clothes and books were constantly passed on to willing friends and cousins…..plastic bags and boxes (they were’nt all over the place the way they are now) were reused till they went to shreds….i cant remember buying packing paper ever ….. my mother would always produce a sheet, from under the mattresses……where it was kept to remove creases……and she planted flowers in our old kitchen sink much before Better homes and gardens said it was trendy to do so…..i have digressed totally I know……
What I mean by ranting here, is that as time goes by, I am beginning to see the wisdom in all of this….while I was busy accusing her of being a kanjoos and a horder of rubbish, my mother was trying to use effectively all that was available, without blindly buying more…and putting more load on the environment….if only we took a page out of her book!! Or any of our elders…..i am not saying I am going to be frugal….far from it…..i want to consume sensibly……
So no more new clothes, till I get rid of what I currently have…..definitely no more new shoes (infact I haven’t bought a pair for over 18 mths now)…..no more ceramics / crockery …no not even in the name of my blog!! And definitely no more stuff “just in case”……… I have enough bed and home and table linen to last the next 15 yrs atleast….i have different cleaning agents one each for the bathrooms, mirror, TV, kitchen appliances, counter tops, stove….i don’t even know why I bought them anymore…..i am trying my best to eat seasonal and local….i have been carrying my own bag when I shop for groceries and vegetables….now I intend to always carry a cloth bag……
This year though importantly, I have decided that I need to be a little more useful to this earth…increasingly I find myself thinking about the environment and try to make the right choices…..its a small step, but in no way insignificant….because I do believe that every drop makes up the ocean…..for this year then, much to my mother’s disgust, I did not buy myself a new dress or ask for a present…from anyone that I usually guilt trip into getting me one….my mantra is going to be “Refuse, Reduce, Recycle, Reuse”…..it’s just been a couple of weeks…but it seems to be a step in the right direction…..i have gone from being an obsessively compulsive I want to buy everything I see….to the one who is asking myself, if I really need the product / service, what the price is, not just in terms of rupees, but where it was produced and how it is packaged and if I can get by without it……..
So then that summarises what has been on my mind…..and I am leaving you with some pictures of what has become of the beautiful plot next to our apartment……the land sharks grabbed it about 4 months ago…and ever since there has been nothing but felling of trees, digging and all kinds of drilling and blasting going on….this is how the once veritable garden of Eden looks……and I guess this is the price you pay for “development” last heard theres a shopping mall coming up here with office spaces in a 14 floor monstrosity …… I miss my green lung…..thank you for the beauty and the wonderful view while it lasted…..
1 comment:
Arundati, know about 'the compact'? I gave it a try for six months and it was very helpful.
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