the search that never ends

do you get into a frenzy searching for something and then realise that you've saved for some inexplicable reason every goddamn bill for groceries, beauty parlours, clothes and sundry other purchases, receipts from insurance payments, milk and newspaper bills etc and yet, can't seem to find the bill for the laptop you bought a few months ago?

i am seized with thoughts that are doing nothing for my self esteem right now.... i am hearing voices that are telling me that i am the world's worst organiser... yeah i keep a pretty home... but i cant seem to find one damn paper when i need it... i would have shoved it somewhere safe am sure... but where that is i dont know now... 

a few months later, when i need to find the bill for the vaccum cleaner... that's when i'll find my laptop bill.... in the meantime, the adaptor that needs to be replaced and will be done under the warranty will have to wait till i can get a duplicate bill from the store i bought it from!

in the mean time, bags and bags of cards and letters, from friends, family and people in the past....craft supplies i really ashamed to acknowledge i have had and done nothing with....and other stuff which i junked or organised as best i could... i then took the easy route out and asked the retailer for a duplicate invoice... today hopefully i wont forget that i need to continue to sort and organise stuff once my laptop is fixed....not a good way to start the week if you ask me....

i must say i had a great weekend. It began on friday night when j & b came over... we've not met up for various work related schedules and schemed... we pigged out totally... home made pizza, traditional south indian, indian chinese, parathas, biryani and italian inspired food... that was what we ate at the various meals... it was food and movies and a good time... the amount of alchohol stocked in our fridge was embarrassing. I had a chocolate class after a long time and enjoyed it so much. i need to keep this going. the summer's heat has ensured that i havent been able to have a class for ages...this time i shifted the timing to the afternoon and it worked well. So maybe this should work out for the next few weeks before it cools off. 

i feel much more calm now that i have managed to get the complaint for my laptop registered. Let's hope this ends well for me. take care and love to those of you who're still reading my rumblings here!

time spent

i think more than ever i need that anonymous blog now! the last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions, feelings and yes, temper too and i really really need that blog to vent... i am very troubled over my mood swings of yesterday.... i dont think i have it in me to be giving and accomodative and selfless especially with children...and that has agonised me... 

well now that i have confessed on a public forum, we've spent the last few days with family ... eating meals (overeating in my case), napping, talking and watching a lot of TV... movies, cartoons, myriad mytho babble and yes, cricket. 

we went to watch Housefull yesterday. i think its time to say, move over david dhawan, sajid khan is here to stay. he seems to excel at the mindless sitcom stuff which is funny in parts but has no head or tail.... lara dutta is a fine actress who hasnt gotten roles to do justice to her talent. deepika padukone is a treat for the eyes....as is arjun rampal... him and anyone else in the frame, and your eyes are rivetted on the hunk that is rampal.... akshay and ritiesh have excellent comic timing and that's been said before... its a mindless timepass film about lies and cover ups and theres nothing more to the story or the lack of one... we bought a new p&s camera for my sil and a giant teddy for the niece....pil's are in chennai for a couple of days so k and i are holding the fort....

i've been home bound for the last few days as its fullhouse here... but am happy that have spent some time with yoga after what seems like a year... it really does make you feel better and more energetic....

the heat has been relentless, almost touching 45 officially, so must be atleast a degree more in reality. mangoes have finally graced our table and tongue...so far himayati has been fabulous and banaganapally very disappointing.

so long then... till the next time....

nasty start

right now i am so mad i think i will burst a vessel. yesterday my not so trusty maid D didnt turn up. she'd taken a days leave and extended it by a day with no info. i always tell them to let me know so i can have a back up plan. she's just gotten back from leave of 13 days, i paid her full salary and i think i am being taken for a ride. She's been with me 3 yrs now and she's always been the recipient of my goodness. no salary cuts even when i have to pay extra for the replacement maid, a tv which she's paying 50% for cos her kids were after her life and she was after mine, loans which i dont know when she will pay off, money for treatment and medicines for when she falls sick & everyday treatment which is very nice, basically this is a good workplace. its reflected in the fact that i have 3 maids knocking my doors when this one doesnt turn up and asks for someone to help out didi.... i cant understand why she cant be trustworthy. i yelled at her this morning and i am feeling bad about it. I never yell at the maids...but i wonder if after 3 yrs i am being taken for granted. 

tomorrow K's family will be here. while i cherish my alone time and tend to get cranky when there is too much happening around me, i am looking forward to them being here..... a lot depends on this trip. i hope for the best...that relocation works out for all of us. 

i spent a good 4 hours at the parlour yesterday. it was after a long time that i did anything apart from just waxing my legs and getting my brows threaded. when i saw myself in the mirror this morning, i felt like a weight had lifted from my face...literally, since i got a face clean up done. I am wary of subjecting myself to these things. and the few times i actually got a facial done, i broke out in pimples/ rash.... but this one... just a clean up felt good....maybe i should do one each month, now that i am on the right side of thirty with all the stuff about aging skin etc, but considering i cant stick to even a regimen of cleansing properly at home, i wonder if this is wishful thinking....which brings me to another random thing.... i am greying at an alarming rate... i think i have about 5 tufts of grey, especially at the temples and just after my hairline.... while i never wanted to colour my hair chemically, simple because of the hairloss all my friends have reported and the logistics of maintaining it regularly, mehndi is out of the picture because of the smell that K hates.... so am wondering now if there is some way of stopping this.... each day i seem to have sprouted a few new ones.....am all for aging gracefully, just didnt think it would be this soon! my mother used to be called my grandmother when i was in school because of her greys... that kind of freaked me out back then itself....

anyway.... am done for now... gotto go take care of other stuff.... ciao and have a day that's better than mine

monday

spent the whole day alone at home. did some work, caught up on some correspondence, but that apart it was quite a boring day. fortunately the rains have cooled off the city and i sat without the fan almost the entire day... funnily enough, we had erratic power supply the whole time....apart from the mandatory 2 hrs during the day, the power was off from 3.30 p.m till 10.00. to say that i was not prepared for this is putting it mildly. while we do have power backup, the plug points dont work. so save for reading, there's no other form of entertainment....i decided to read a book i'd picked up a few months ago. i'd picked some light reading and a couple of chick lit book. this one is called right fit wrong shoe or something. it is about 180 pages of crap. so shallow and silly that i cant even get over it. it is a desi M&B with a complete hangover...the guy is a business magnate and has a palatial house in kanpur complete with 2 swimming pools, indoor and outdoor, badminton, tennis and golf course and a gazebo.... gosh... i couldnt believe what i was reading....love- hate, cat- mouse... a few love scenes which neither have justification nor are well written, just plain gauche...at under 100 rupees, it wasn't a waste of money, but definitely a waste of time. why did i finish reading it? well, for starters i am not a quitter. and i wanted to know how it ends, plus there was some hope that it would take an interesting turn. the heroine of the book has a bollywood hangover which is the only refreshing part of the book... if you havent read it, stay away. if you want desi m&b pick it up, if you live in hyd, i can give you my copy!

K's been busy with work and hence comes home quite late. am just waiting for the couple more days before his family comes from ahmd. atleast i wont be rattling in an empty home. 

plus side is we've eaten a lot of home cooked meals.... after the 2 days of withdrawal and denial that renuka wasnt going to be here for 10 days, i kind of am enjoying the stint in the kitchen!

this and that

tgis~ seriously one needs to think i am demented about being happy for the weekend despite all the leisure i get! but the weekend is the weekend and i am happy its here.... went in to work for sometime yesterday....had a feedback session with a client for whom we recently did a prog. I really am amazed each time with how much and how easily corporates think they can bargain. they want top class work at bargain bin prices, and will then micro manage everything...whew.... i am however keeping my mouth shut...no one really wants to know what doesnt work, so why bother...

aside from that, it was a nice relaxed week overall. I am hoping to get much more done this week. i keep saying thaat each week and sometimes it works, sometimes...well it doesnt...

yesterday we spent the evening with a filmmaker friend and watched Kalyug...that shyam benegal film of the 80's. I loved it when i watched it on earlier occasions, but yesterday somehow felt it dragged in many places....K observed that it was funny, that for an adaptation of the mahabharata, it did not have two very vital characters, krishna and shakuni who were absolutely essential for the drama to unfold...Like you can make out, we're huge on movies...sometimes better ones and sometimes movies so bad you wonder why they ever got made. Thursday was self infliction of a double dose of mindless crap....the tamil remake of Main hoon na in aegan and allu arjun's arya 2. 

For Aegan, i have new respect for farha khan...she makes a masala movie look so good....and raju sundaram is obviously no match for farha khan....its not an apple to apple comparison cos of the changes that were made. I realise how bad MHN would have been if not handled well....i think i saw Ajith in a film after 1999 kandukondain kandukondain...he's aged...that's all i can say.....nayanthara...the less said the better...and i did think actor navadeep has talent...

Arya 2 the less said the better...apart from the fact that allu arjun is possibly one of the best dancers this country has seen, there's absolutely nothing else in the movie.... its a mash up of so many movies and such blatant hero worshiping megalomania that its shocking....how can you write a song called "he's mr perfect...." for a guy who essentially looks like darwin's missing link? 

today's lunch at my uncle and aunt's place, it was my aunt's birthday yesterday.... i got her a gift from Fabindia which i hope fits and she likes...yesterday when we went to pick out something, i picked up two pairs of sandals for myself as well.... i needed some everyday kind of footwear....

the digital photoframe K got me is up and running...i finally uploaded some pics onto it, but i need to figure out how to set up the dimensions and the orientation.....i love it tho...with over 5000 photos on my laptop and 10k on the hdd, i needed a digital solution to this!! its nice to see some of them and go back in time when they were clciked...especially the fish pedicure and rachel's impish face!

for once, i seem to have abandoned the photoblog for this one...i need to sort through the pics and upload them....happy weekend everyone...i hope you have a fun time