I think it helped more than I gave it credit…or maybe I was just fed up with my cribbing self…..i got off my sorry ass and got a few things done yesterday!! The Christmas tree and tinsel are finally off…not just off, but packed neatly in the pre designated boxes and up on the loft till next year….just like I liked them and just like how I would ideally like them packed…. I didn't succumb and put them all together in a plastic bag in a jumbled mess I was so tempted to….. I endured a raging headache for 3 hours as well…. But I feel good…life is getting back to sanity…. Then I baked two cakes…one was a disappointment…of course it was bound to be if you saw what I did…. I was pissed with myself….so I baked another and this one rose to the occasion quite beautifully….who can resist a whole wheat chocolate cake?? Not me….. the prize of course came in the evening….a few casual mentions of hitting a night spot came together…and I was all up and ready…..a hot shower made me forget that terrible headache…. There's something about a hot jet of water hitting you on the head and shoulders that no therapy or drug can buy………. I spent some time on my hair and ignored the fact that I should have threaded my eyebrows….infact when S (who we were going out with) asked the inevitable "what shall we wear?" I answered "what difference will it make? Its going to be dark and everyone will eventually be drunk…and after a couple, regardless of what we wore or weighed we'll feel like Cindy Crawford" …….. so we hit town…. 10 D my favourite watering hole, I was already almost drunk!! Only one thing struck me….we'd come for retro night….and when you start to enjoy retro night, you know that you are older than you thought!! I had a blast…. I loved the music and regardless of my severed toe nail braved the dance floor…. And yeah…..i did feel like Cindy Crawford!!

Nothing can be worse than an inertia filled dead end that I have been filled with these past few weeks…..lots has happened…it is'nt for the lack of happenings that I have'nt been able to post….its just the inertia….like the chicken and the egg story, I don't know which one is perpetrating the other…the inertia and bad mood…. I've had a few scream ins the last few days…and people around me don't know what's hit me….. I am unable to cook even….. something that's like therapy to me…. I always believed, come bad health, weather or mood….cooking always liberated me………not so this time…. I have tones of things to do…things that I have postponed for so long that I am truly ashamed…. I am hoping, putting this out in the open will help me deal with this craziness………please….i hate the way I feel right now…and I need to believe that only I can change it…………