Jan 4 ~ I am looking forward to

This month is all about the trip. I have a session on saturday at the studio and I cannot wait to be done and head out. I just cannot keep calm. I have a few things planned at each of the four locations we will be in and even if I don't do everything, I am just too excited to be taking a proper vacation after 2 years. The last one was to wayanad in Nov. 2015.

I want to eat and sleep, take long walks, explore the towns we will be at and just enjoy this long pending and much deserved holiday!

Jan 2 ~ Three Goals for the month

1. Travel ~ we planned a huge trip, long pending one and kind of like a bucket list thing. We leave hyderabad on 7th morning. Cannot wait.

2. Skin care ~ day and night routine. I have buggered my skin so badly, have battled adult acne for the last year and now have finally given up and am trying to have a more hygienic (wash face before bedtime) and moisturise routine.

3. Daily activity ~ Even tho I am going to be on holiday I need to keep up the walking and exercise routine. 

Breakfast Stories

We were on holiday recently and travelled for the first time with two other couples k works with. We have in the past enjoyed travelling with friends multiple times, but this was the first with these folks.

These are people I know. Folks I meet and have eaten with, multiple times, over the last 6 years. We have visited each other's homes and socialized to celebrate occasions and sometimes just like that. Yet I didn't know what to expect from the trip. It's one thing to meet people for a few hours every few months. It's a completely different thing to stay with them and be with them over the course of a few days.

While I mostly enjoyed their company, the majestic palace hotel we stayed at and the general chatter, I loathed meal times. Suddenly the dining table became a no holds barred advice giving forum. Advice on what to eat and how and why and when by the two ladies who are extremely health and diet conscious (read stick thin). Each time someone reached for a waffle or ordered Puri bhaji, there was a five minute discourse about how unfit the rest were and what wrong food choices we were making.

I'm a fairly rational person. I understand when people  dish out well meaning advice  But there is a limit to the mumbo-jumbo I could listen to from ill informed people bent on making my long pending three day holiday into a 'correct your eating habits' workshop.

So I did the next best thing, thanks to early rising with Sage that's become a habit, I quickly began going very early and ahead of everyone to have my coffee and breakfast in peace. We are talking waking around 5:45, walking an hour and heading to breakfast by 7 a.m when only the staff is around and they're still setting up for service. I can manage every other meal in chaos and tune out the noise, but I need my coffee and breakfast in absolute peace, preferably eaten in silence.

                                                       

This arrangement worked to prep me for the rest of the day shared with other adults and a few kids and gave me enough time in the company I enjoy the most - mine. 

A Holiday Finally

We'd been talking of taking a break and going on vacation for what seems like forever. Moving milestones with work and endless lists of things to do at home ensured we were in August and I began to feel quite suffocated. In September, I was mentally immobile, unable to get through a full day without feeling angsty. I was not enjoying work too much and that is always a sign to me, because I really love what I do. 

I served K with an ultimatum, that I would put Sage in the car and drive off on a designated date if he didn't take time off from work and come with us. He relented. Arm twisting has always worked well for me!

The places we could go to on a short notice and over 10 days were limited. Because we travel with Sage, we drive to our destination. This means that any distance more than 300 kms needs a night stop. We'd decided to try and go to the hills or at least eliminated a sea shore holiday on K's request. Narrowing it down to destinations reachable from Bangalore (which was our halt) and that I didn't want to go to a place already visited, we picked Wayanad. 

We found a pet friendly resort in the middle of a forest and took off one early wednesday morning. 

This trip was going to be new in two ways - first we were going in our own car, usually we hire a taxi, secondly, K was going to drive, we did take our driver along for the first leg to Bangalore, thereafter, K was going to drive (sans license of course). 

On the 12th of oct, we slept at 2 AM, finishing work that always has a sense of urgency when you are on the cusp of a holiday, packing and generally trying to calm the excitement. We set off at 5:30 am with a very excited Sage who knew something was cooking! We reached Bangalore city by 1:30 PM and then the ordeal with traffic to get to my friends Shailesh and Shree's house took three hours and melted my brains. Stayed there that night and packed the driver back to Hyderabad. 

The morning we set off to Wayanad, I have not been so excited in a long long time. The absolute bliss to be just three of us was unmatched. Even the potholed roads in patches didn't bother us. We used Google Maps on the entire trip and realised that it is easy to get re routed if you take one small wrong turn or don't pay attention. K had a surprise in store, he drove through the Bandipur forest reserve. For some reason, the forest officials didn't seem to mind that we had a big fluffy dog hanging his head outside the window. 

Herds upon herds of spotted deer, lots of monkeys, some peacocks and lots of other birds. We also spotted tonnes (literally) of fresh elephant dung, but not one elephant. Which was disappointing, but the lushness of the forest and the cool climes more than made up. We realised we were in Kerala as soon as the roads turned narrow and winding. This stretch from Bangalore to Wayanad was beautiful except the last 50 kms to the resort we chose which was a nightmare. 

We reached our resort by 2:30, hungry and very irritated with the last patch of road. I'll write more about the resort in another post. I have bitter sweet experiences of it. Unhappy with our accommodation, K breathed fire and brimstone while Sage and I decided to take a nap. We were soon shifted into another more spacious place and there we spent the next four days - doing nothing.

We had a two room suite, one a largely unused living area and the second a very romantic if dimly lit bedroom (which was a nightmare to do routine things like read without an extra light after dark), a nice red floored porch and a small patch of grass in front. The end of the grass patch was the beginning of a thick natural fence of overgrown bamboo. Beyond that was a small lake, more like our backyard filled with rain water while I was growing up. No really, it was brown water in which a pair of ducks would aimlessly swim all day.

The next four days passed in a haze of food. Each day began and ended with endless food and there was chai and wine for in between. Fresh, well made (mostly), lots of vegetables and fruit and served so nicely on the porch for us because of Sage. Wayanad has a huge Muslim population who for religious reasons do not want to be in close proximity of dogs. We had a choice to go to the restaurants at a time that was not too busy or eat in our cottage and we chose the latter. So every meal of every day was served to us on a little table. Depending on the mood of the hour, I would ask for the table to be set outdoors or indoors and it would promptly be done.

It was such a relief to be in a time and space like that. I picked up a couple of ramshackle books from the hotel library and read them non stop, some travel magazines with not so great stories of places I want to see someday were read from cover to cover. Not having cell phone coverage was a blessing and a curse. It was sketchy at best and I had no internet access. So I kept getting beeps that there were 500+ messages on whatsapp for me, but I couldn't see them. I did nothing about it. I will admit that the first two days I felt antsy, after that I felt no urge to be in touch with anyone or update anything.

For me, this was a lesson. I've always known that I can turn on and off the buttons which get me hyperconnected to people and things. Yet increasingly I felt fatigued by the information I was consuming online. Primarily because most of the information has no where to be used once processed. So this was a good break from everything.

The vacation was not as idyllic as I thought it would be. The resort we chose was built to resemble an eco friendly place, which meant minimal landscaping and the cottages were built on little slopes,  the pathways were real narrow and this posed a problem with walking Sage. The place allowed pets, but for a dog as large as sage, who likes to roam and explore on his own, it was a bit constricted. He would refuse to step more than 5 feet away from where I was standing and since it got dark by 5.45, evening walks caused us a little anxiety.

Oh and the leeches! I was totally unprepared for this, until the second morning, after my walk, sitting on the porch having coffee, K noticed my toe was bleeding. I wiped it and wondered where or how I got cut. The bleeding continued for the next 20 minutes and that's when it struck me that it could be a leech! I freaked out when we finally found it, round and fat and fallen not far from where my slippers lay. After a clean up, I checked Sage and found a couple on his feet. This would continue to freak me out for the next two days until I started dousing his paws with diluted dettol and water and wearing my shoes for each walk. This annoyed me after a while, taking the joy out of our walks.

The good part was that we spent time in complete privacy, we had great food and overall liked the place we stayed in. The bad part was that it was not as comfortable for Sage since he couldn't run around making him edgy and bored. And since we travel with him, Sage's comfort is a big part of our experience.

I've also realized that with K, vacations are about doing nothing. There is no frantic pace of wanting to see places or anything like that. We spend money and time to hire a place and sleep, read, eat and watch TV. Not that there was much to see here. There was the mandatory visits to waterfalls, dams, tea plantations and such like. Some we did and some like the tea plantation we skipped because we have seen enough of those for a lifetime!

After 4 days here, since this was a "do nothing" vacation we moved to another resort. I'm thinking that should be part II of this story... should I write that?

Goa Vacation

The last week of March, we went on a family vacation. I have taken ages to write this, because I have mostly abandoned this blog. However, I needed to write down all that happened. Particularly because of the following reasons

1. I was very happy with our vacation
2. I wanted to share the experience with the meager readers of this blog
3. wanted to share some do's and don’ts about traveling with a pet because that is still a rarity in India

We made plans to go to Goa. The reasons were many. Firstly, the humans wanted to go there. Secondly, it is one of the most pet friendly places in India.

The only part that worried me was the fact that goa would be like a furnace in the end of March. But we countered that by picking an air conditioned resort which was bang on the beach and meant we would have nice sea breeze the whole day.

I mentioned on the pet sitter’s forum, that a friendly dog was half the battle won while traveling. I said this because of a few reasons. One being, that a friendly dog is welcome almost anywhere. If I would have collected 10 bucks every time someone stopped to pet Sage or called him cute, we could have stayed an extra night!

Let me add well behaved to the list. We ensured right from the time Sage was a puppy, that people didn’t pet him till he was calmly seated. So despite meeting several strangers everyday, he knows that no matter how excited he is, he will have to sit still till they can pet Sage. No one wants to make friends with a dog that is over excited or aggressive. When people realise the dog is friendly and harmless, they lighten up and allow him into places like shopping arcades too where an ill behaved pet would hardly be welcome.

While we haven’t taught Sage any tricks like bring and fetch, roll over or even the basic handshake, he knows to sit and stay still when we are in public. It has held all of us in good stead and ensured we can travel with him and not be embarrassed or inconvenienced.

On our way back to Hyderabad, we decided to stop over at Bijapur. This is a small town and had hardly any hotels to speak of, leave alone a pet friendly one. We called a place, one day ahead of our journey to get accommodation, clearly mentioning we had a dog. We were assured we could bring the dog but Murphy’s Law was at work and when we did land up, after a tiring hot day in the car, with a tired and hungry Sage, they suddenly refused to give us a room. It was past 8 p.m and we had few options. After K spoke with them (politely) and said we had only made the drive because of their reassurance, also promising that he was a well behaved dog, they relented and let us stay. All the while during the discussion, Sage patiently waited on the leash with me outside the reception, but within sight of the manager. I doubt he would have allowed us to stay if he was acting like a crazy dog.

Most highway dhabas allow people to bring their pets. Except places like kamat and stuff. What we do in that case is, request for the food to be carried outside and eat near the car/ in the garden if they have one/ ask them to set up a table for us outside. They have the right to property and only a polite request has some chance of being obliged to. At a dhaba too, we ensure the dog is leashed and sits at our feet, not running around mad.

The most important thing while traveling with a pet is to know if he/ she can travel. Sage has been car sick from the time he was a puppy. All my dreams of vacationing with him crashed at that point. Even a trip to the vet would make him empty his intestines on the floor or seat of my car. For a full year, on the advice of the vet, we continued to take him around on short drives, in the city. To friends homes, the in laws place, to the market, etc. the first thing was to make this a routine, to make the dog comfortable with getting in and sitting in the car so that at some point he would be ready to go a longer distance. It is much more difficult to travel with a pet which has travel anxiety and has never sat in a vehicle.

Pet parents wanting to travel, try lounging with your pet in the car while it is parked for a few days, gradually take them on really short drives, increasing time and distance slowly. If your pet cannot adjust, it is better for everyone to leave him/ her at home or with someone instead of ruining everyone’s holiday.

 

Some pointers to other pet parents who would like to consider traveling with their pets. 

Pick a pet friendly destination / place to stay. Do your research, make enough calls, speak to the people and tell them if your pet has special needs. It should have enough space to exercise your pet and should not be very complicated to approach or navigate. So no heavily decorated place, no place that is above the 5^th floor and no place that does not have a yard / garden or at least easy access to the road outside so we can walk Sage.

Pick a mode of transport that the pet is used to and comfortable with. We took Him by road (hired an Innova) and gave Him the middle seat. We also broke the roughly 700 km journey into two days. Covering about 600 kms the first day and the rest on the second. We ideally like to complete about 70-75% of the distance on day one and do the rest on the second day after a good night's rest. 

Carry enough towels and bed sheets (to line the seats and floor of the car, incase your pet gets sick), newspaper.

Carry food, bowls, water, glucose powder and stop every 3-4 hours for a vanilla ice-cream treat as well as loo breaks. We don’t feed Him till we stop for the night because Him have terrible motion sickness. That has not stopped us from doing road trips with Sage. We have figured out a way to combat it. Firstly, we start early in the morning, lets say by 5 a.m and stop about 5-6 pm in the evening. Him do not feel hungry till about 10 a.m which means we would have already covered 5 hours of driving by then. We give Him an anti vomit tablet an hour before we begin to help Sage. Stop for loo breaks, keep Him hydrated with water and give Him glucose powder every 30 minutes or so. Every 3-4 hours, we give Him a small cup of vanilla ice-cream. This is sufficient nourishment for Him till we reach. After the first hour, he figures out the routine, slump off on the seat and sleep.

The goa drive was a bit hard on him (as compared to Bangalore – Coorg last year). He vomited a few times, mostly bile. But once cleaned up, he was fine and good to go.

A word to pet parents, this is the stuff that works for us. We have been doing this after speaking to our veterinarian. In fact the glucose and ice-cream thing is based on her advice. Please check with your vet before you travel anywhere.

Once we reach our destination for the day, we wash him with a wet towel so he feels fresh, give him lots of water and feed him the amount he would eat for one meal. We do not try to over feed him just because we starved him through the day. We ensure we sleep early so the dog too can catch up on his sleep and recover.

At the destination:

We keep him leashed till;

He gets familiar with the place (usually one day)

People / staff of the place get familiar with Sage

There are other guests and if we are in public places like restaurants and shopping areas.

At the hotel / place we are staying at, I spread my own double bed sheet on the bed over the hotel provided linen to prevent / minimize damage.

While most hotels specifically mention that the pets are not to be allowed on the furniture and beds, we all know how much dogs love to leap onto said bed and furniture. While Sage does not sleep on the bed, he likes to climb on for some cuddling or play time. Most hotel linen is white and its best to carry some thick heavy duty stuff which will prevent damage and embarrassment.

Carry emergency medication for basic stuff and be in touch with your vet incase your pet needs anything.

I continue with his regular daily routine even when on holiday. So while I crib about waking up before sunrise on a holiday, it keeps the dog sane that he can still have his walk / meals / playtime as usual even though the location and people have changed.

At meal times, check if the pet can be taken into the restaurant and sit in an area where he/she will be comfortable. For instance, in Goa, we sat in places which were not bang in the middle of the restaurant, but on the side, so Sage had enough space to sprawl on the floor and didn’t come in the way of other guests.

Politeness and smiles go a long way in opening doors to people traveling with pets. We always called ahead at restaurants to check if we could take the dog and kept him leashed till they said it was ok to let him off.

Carry food, water, bowls and paper towels everywhere, preferably in a bag. So when the dog embarrassingly pooped in the sand in middle of a beach shack, I just cleaned up and walked on. We asked for ice cubes to cool the water for him and gave Sage his own food to prevent him from begging at the table (failing miserably, he is a sorry little beggar)

If people stop by to make friends with / pet Sage, we always make sure he is sitting and calm before they can do that. We also tell them specifically where they can touch him for the first time (usually the back or his ears) so the dog is not startled. We also repeat the key word “friend so he knows they are friends.

Some don’ts while traveling with a pet

Do not overfeed or drug your pet with tranquilizers or sedatives. If your pet is car sick he will repeatedly vomit if he has undigested food in the tummy. This is just a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. Many people told me they give sedatives and mild tranquilizers to their pets. I discussed this with the vet who cautioned us against doping him (thank god!). I much prefer to talk to Sage, make him comfortable, and stroke his body while he sleeps.

Do not force your pet onto people anywhere. Most people are generally wary of an animal they don’t know and will be scared. This is natural. Do not take offense.

Do not leave your pet unattended no matter how friendly he/she is. He is one of the friendliest dogs around. Our dog loves it when people stop to pet/ talk to him. Yet I or K constantly has an eye on Sage. We do not allow people however friendly to lead him away from us and never ever leave him unattended especially when there are kids around. The problem is, they are new to Sage, and there is no telling how he may react. There could be a tone of voice or a gesture or a sudden movement which annoys the dog. Or they could do something to tease Sage. Or may just have a juicy piece of food on their plate that looks appealing. It’s better to be a little cautious than have unexpected behavior from anyone. In case there is a misbehavior, the pet always takes the blame and that can be avoided if the human is somewhere around.

Do not feed your pet strange food or something he / she is not used to eating. For the simple reason that Him don’t want to make them sick and ruin your holiday.

Do not exert your pet unnecessarily. We ensured he stayed in the air-conditioned room for the hottest part of the day and got his regular siesta. Walks on the beach were always early morning and evening after sundown. If we were going to a restaurant close by, we would walk; else we took the car everywhere we thought we couldn’t walk comfortably.

The resort we stayed at in Goa

Montego Bay Beach Resort

They are very pet friendly, allow the pet in the lounge and restaurant provided it is well behaved and doesn’t bother other guests

Pet Friendly Cafes / restaurants

Bora Bora

Sublime

Coorg Pet Friendly Homestay

Bird of Paradise Homestay at Kushalnagara

travel and the single girl

my friend N is in England this week. she's been there 5 days already and sends me a picture or two everyday. She looks like she's having a fantastic time. she has friends there ofcourse... but when she planned this whole trip, staying with friends wasn't the reason she chose to visit. it was just a happy coincidence... i know cos i was part of the discussion. 

as i write this, another friend of mine, V is trekking somewhere in leh/ ladakh (dont get at me, i know they are different places, i just dont know where she is right now). she's gone with a friend, and his group of friends... incidentally all boys. this will be here third holiday with said friend. 

i am happy for both these girls. they are great at their work, are very valued as professionals, they are a riot to be with and are steadfast friends.... they incidentally are single... one lives abroad... so has to deal with the "how pathetic you are not married' once every two years...the other lives here and has to deal with it everyday... they are strong... they laugh it off. they are also waiting for an interesting guy.

but i digress, its not about them being married... its about how a lot of girls are travelling alone sans family / husband/ boyfriend. sometimes on their own, sometimes they join a group. they take a week off, buy their tickets, pack their bags and just go somewhere.

there are a lot of groups that are professionally managed to handle organised tours for women like WOO - Women on Wanderlust or girls on the go. they ensure women are safe and have a whale of a time. more and more girls are going on their own too, either with a friend or on their own. i know of atleast two who have done this in the past few months. 

why do women want to travel sans family? because like everyone else, they want to have a good time and just travel for what its worth. a lot of times, being a woman and a mother more specifically means that just the venue changes and sometimes choices of food and sleep become more painful, but you arent relieved of your mommy duties... you still have to do everything you did at home... while everyone else is on a holiday. so its no wonder that women want a breather that is really one!

i've never travelled alone. most of the travelling i did was as a student or an unmarried working woman..but that was just back and forth to and from home... i have gone on sans family holidays tho... with a group of friends... with the significant other... i've loved it... i always wonder what it would be like for me to take a holiday now alone... without K or family or anyone else... fortunately, my family isnt annoying on holidays (well, almost). so i've never really wished them away...but just for once, i wonder how it would be to visit New York City all by myself.... will it live up to its reputation as maximum city? or london perhaps? in a museum although i dont like them much! or turkey maybe? something to think about....

i think this post is just getting pointless.... so stop i will 

cancelled

for the second time in about 6 months, K and i had to cancel a holiday plan last minute. We spent a whole night talking about the reasons we could go and the reasons we couldnt and in the end, the reasons we couldnt go outweighed the ones that said we could. Amidst much dissappointment (for me) and guilt (for him) we decided that now was not possible. This is 3 days before we are scheduled to travel and so it was tough. With bags packed and spirits soaring. The most difficult was to tell our friends who we'd planned to go with. This is the second time and I didnt want to come away looking like we'd done it on purpose. K is a big believer in the spirit of the human spirit, i am worked up about many things - i dont want to look like someone who makes an excuse at the last minute, i am as disappointed as anyone else would be and i have the tears to prove it, i realise as the wife of an entrepreneur, these are the sacrifices i will have to make, i want my friends to not stop making plans with us because two of them didnt work out...is it a tall order?

the week that went by....

am going to try a less verbose style of writing... its very popular in blogging ;p

*      back from a 5 day business trip to cochin
*      never seen so many doctors at one place
*      i know now for a fact that doctors love "free bags" any shape, size and colour :D
*      even the greatest companies in the world are no greater than the people they employ
*      the quality of your work is a direct result of the quality of you

*      the most tiring work is made good with the satisfaction of a job well done...and the company of K!!
*      god's own country.... i just wish you had children who treated you better.....
*      explored jew town... was amazing how my perspective changes each time i visit....
*      was sad to see the synagogue...slowly getting engulfed by the "indian emporiums"
*      bought the freshest spices ever
*      had the loveliest time at a charming place called Old Harbour Hotel...am so glad we wound up our trip with  a dinner here.... am in love with fort kochi again
*      no matter how much you love to travel, how fabulous the place, how important and successful the work...you missed your home, as much as she missed you......

happenings

its been a hectic two weeks for me. we made a quick trip to bangalore for some work. K, D and i. K & D have been friends for 16 yrs now, and this was the first trip we made together. We travelled by bus which wasnt so bad. and despite my moaning and groaning about bus travel being uncomfortable, i slept soundly for 95% of the night. the look on amma's face when we walked through the door was a kodak moment!! this was the most economical trip we have made in all our life! we focussed on the work we were there for, travelled by autos and didnt do any shopping! ok ok... i bought a few earthen pots... but that too was for work!

the trip back to hyderabad was very uncomfortable and i was irritated by the time we reached home. since we havent travelled by bus for ages now, i was pissed off by the fake aggression of the autowalas at the bus stop in hyderabad. i wanted to skin them alive. they shout so loudly and are so crass that it intimidates the passenger. the bus makes 5-6 stops at different points after entering the city and you choose whichever is closest to the place you want to go to. they tried intimidating passengers and making them get off and take an auto for distances as far as 25 km. K of course gave them a piece of his mind. but it was so so annoying.

back here, both K and i got a mild bout of flu. i was out of action a couple of days and so was he. being in the middle of two long weekends, there was hardly any work that got done. on friday, a blogger friend and family came to spend a few days with us. they're relocating and needed to house-hunt. i was amazed at the friendship we've shared. although we were meeting for the first time, it felt like we've known each other for years. their adorable son tho had no such reciprocity and refused to come to us for more than a few minutes! in between the frustrating hunt for a decent house close to the proposed place of work and incessant rain, we caught up, managed some shopping and even a girls dinner out after leaving the respective better halves to take care of the toddler! At the end of their stay, they fortunately found a place they liked and will be moving in a few weeks.

works' been good. i've been cerebrally invigorated. i am enjoying the fresh bout of energy.

that apart, i am loving the weather in hyderabad. for the last few days i am working from the sitout area of the office. the internet connectivity is way better here and ofcourse i get to see dragon flies do funny things! i have a lot of things planned out for the weekend. cant wait for it to get here!!

back on home turf

i've had a stupendous holiday. it was exciting, adventurous, tiring and full of everything i didnt expect. plus it was a long one! i will write about it in detail, but that's for later. lets just say, i am back home. badly sunburnt, tired, full of the memories of a magical time spent just a few days ago, unable to believe really how much time and distance one can traverse in a few short days but happy to be home!!

much joy as the holiday gave me, humbled me and awed me, i am honest maybe even silly when i will admit that i had the most blissfully refreshing sleep in my own bed when we got back!

the travelogue will be written and posted. it was nearly a 2 week vacation, so there's lots to be written. in the meanwhile, regular life is to be lived. bags unpacked, clothes washed, meals to be cooked and work to be done. also, battered bodies to be brought back to some kind of normalcy.

insomniacal rambles

its thursday...just past midnight on wednesday. what the heck am i doing up at this hour? dont ask.. i cant sleep... difficult to think that its three days already since we got back from our break.. k and i spent a week with his parents.... it was something i so badly needed, that on the day before we left, so zoned out was i, that i was hardly congnizant of what was being said around me!!

it was the first trip since our goan holiday in september. the first since i got back to work. i didnt realise that i was really sort of desperate for this break.

a week spent slothfully....i ate (much more than i have the heart to acknowledge), napped "every single afternoon" and yet managed to sleep again at night, shopped and generally chilled out. ... its amazing how time flies when you are having a good time. for weeks, i wondered if 8 days was too much idle time....since all the people inside my head know what a control freak I am.

amma and appa were so amused that i jumped up and plated and photographed food (soon after amma slaved and cooked it!!) for Escapades... i need to get those posts up and running. there are a tonne of things to do - routine to get back into, stop wanting another break to get over this one, closet to organise, gifts brought back to be sorted and given away, work to get done, blog posts to write, photos to be sorted and uploaded and oh! real food to be cooked and consumed.

its just past 3 a.m and i have no idea when i will finally fall asleep...in between writing this post, i fell prey to hunger pangs and had a bite of instant noodles. not the best thing to have a carb assault at this time... but what the hell! i'd better post this before i start craving caffeine.

Goan Diary - V

We drove to fort Aguada.....the drive was fabulous....all the greenery coupled with the winding roads, one side of which is the mandovi river and on the other side are houses, mountains or fields depending on how far away from civilization you are.....

Fort Aguada was spectacular...but i could really do with better behaved tourists....most often our own....what is it with them?? why do they have to lech and catcall and generally make such fools of themselves.....if they think road romeo like behaviour will get them the attention of women....they really have their heads screwed onto the wrong end of their bodies....

the views from the fort, the ramparts that lead to the sea, the drop to the ocean, the small island in the background and the sight of smalll steam boats chugging along....i could have spent my whole afternoon there....but it was so punctuated by noisy rowdy crowds...but then i already mentioned them!!

we drove out to panjim so we could book a river cruise, only to be told at the counters of three different cruise operators that there were no “dolphin cruises” which started “only in season” (meaning tourist season)……… I wished I had my blogger friend A’s number so I could call her and possibly visit her….i had managed to lock my bedroom with the keys to the room and my phone inside at home before heading out the airport……and the last thing my family would allow me to do was get online to find her number…..

we lunched at Hotel Mandovi at the Restaurant called Riorico …. It was a weird thing to sit in a place decorated with a Mexican theme, there were large sized boleros and cactus all over the place and order goan food!! we went there 30 minutes closer to their closing time…..they hastened us into ordering….. forgot a few of the things we ordered…..and the guy who took our order was by then off duty….. whatever food they managed to serve us was good, but I am surely not going back to a place that seems not to care much about my satisfaction….

We got back late afternoon and rested for a while before finally walked in the sand – on the baga beach…. Rachel got to play in the “matti” sand or soil in telugu….and I built castles (well they looked that way to me anyway) after many many years….took an obscene number of photographs because I just discovered the multiple capture option that my brother’s hitech camera had including tones of pictures of beach dogs (you cant call them street dogs since they’re not on the street but on the beach…. We spent a lovely evening watching the waves, which were very rough, the people, some of who braved the tide, i though they were just being falsely brave....and politely refusing the wares of several women who came around speaking impeccable english...offering shells, necklaces, hair braiding and sarongs.....

later that evening, while we still were soaking up  the sunset on the beach, we were told that two youths got sucked in with the tide, one got rescued and one paid for his bravado with his life....it shook me up..... 

dinner at Souza Lobo's was spot on..... but my mind was elsewhere.....what if it was me.....or someone i knew.....why couldnt those silly boys see that the sea was too rough to pick a challenge with....

Goan Diary – IV Happy Birthday Amma

23^rd Sept – amma’s walked this earth for 70 years!! and what a life it has been…..Happy Birthday Dear Mommy…..

I slept fitfully……disturbed by K’s body burning with fever lying next to me….and the occasional grunts…..we woke up and ordered coffee…..a few hours later, had breakfast with everyone else by the pool…..but it was evident that we wouldn’t be up to the trip to the Church of St. Francis…..i didn’t want to leave him alone at the hotel and he was in no state to come along….it would have just made him worse…..so we stayed put at the hotel while the rest of them went to the church…..had lunch and returned in the late afternoon…..K and I watched Apne….triple dozed on the deols, with beer for me and hot sweet corn soup for K!!

In the evening, I got over my self-consciousness to splash around in the pool…..i did spend a few hours wishing the ones who were in the pool and lounging around it would buzz off….when they didn’t, I just mustered up my courage and jumped in…..i always tell myself, they’ll possibly never see me again…..and mostly aren’t as obsessed with my cellulite as I am…..sometimes it works, some times I have to work at it!! this day sort of established a pattern with me…..drink, eat, exhaust yourself in the pool till you feel you can drink and eat without too much guilt to ruin the food experience…..my brother would want to add here that there wasn’t much of a food experience in my case anyways, but I would prefer not to give him that privilege…

We got dressed for dinner at eight, and headed straight to souza lobo’s …… this time there was a young duo of musicians….singing country numbers…..some completely off key, but they were so earnest that we clapped enough for them to whisper “thank you….thank you ladies and gentlemen” at the end of each one….. Souza Lobo’s was also good enough to arrange for a cake for us….. so we ate and drank, talked and laughed and spent a wonderful evening…..i took a minute to thank God for my mother’s life….all that she is…..and we watched her cut her birthday cake with her granddaughter…..sang happy birthday for her at our table because the band forgot our request and was singing a number from roxette instead…..they couldn’t stop midway to sing happy birthday with us….but we had another go immediately afterwards, with the whole restaurant joining in (they each had a slice of cake for their effort)…..i think my mom was a little sheepish when she stood up to acknowledge their wishes……. I would like to think it was one of the better birthdays she has had……. Am sure she is nodding in agreement

Goan Diary – III “I waa waaa”

Being told “sorry you are indian” notwithstanding, on day one, post a lazy lunch, we made another trek….to find a shop that sold baby floats….because Rachel was driving us crazy…..this pint sized 20 month old, held us for ransom with her tears and wails of “I waa waaa” which means “I want water”….she doesn’t say complete words yet…..but the intentions were clear…..she dragged anyone of us that she could to the side of the huge pool in the hotel courtyard around which were our little cottages…..asking almost soulfully to be taken into the water….. half an hour of baby assault and we gave in…..finding swimwear and swimming gear in goa is very easy……that I am thankful for…… two piece bikinis, one piece swimsuits….and ghastly little frocks with an attachment that looks like cycling shorts hang from every shop that lined the streets of baga….thankfully I bought mine before getting there….and it was one piece (to cover my modesty) and black (I believe in the slimming power of black)…… no it doesn’t camouflage cellulite!! 

Baby Rachel in her purple dino swimsuit, with sun block that could double for whitewash dove into the water astride her little red float …. It was a contraption that allowed her to sort of sit in it…..like a rubber chair with a float around it…..the next few hours was a family video scene……rachel and my brother in the water, with her paddling away like a little duck, my mother delighted…..my SIL happy but nervous that she might topple over…..me wanting to join in the fun and urging the sun to go down sooner so I don’t look like burnt toast….and K slowly but surely getting a burning fever……the sun did go down, I did get into the water and splash around….and Rachel did topple over….twice!! but we pulled her out just as quickly too!! (thank god!! Cos all our hearts skipped many beats!!)

Exhausted, we napped till it was dinner time…..the most awaited time of each day….. Souza Lobo it was….the chosen destination that we dined at three out of four nights…..a testament to the food and service…..while my carnivorous family were almost delirious and couldn’t decide what to order for a long time, the amused waiter blinked at me a couple of times, trying to figure out if I was indeed asking him “what can you recommend from the vegetarian dishes?” but with all due respect, I never once felt I’d landed up at the wrong place…. Each item I ordered at each of the meals we had at Souza Lobo’s always turning out excellent….and not once did I have to resort to paneer butter masala and rotis!!

can you see the figure in the picture below....that's a ghost...pass this on to 11 people else badluck will come knocking!!

the guy on the extreme left is the gentleman with the fabulous tenor

There was live music by a trio, with an elderly gentleman with a fabulous tenor singing all the familiar goan songs…… the only thing that was a spoke in this wonderful experience, was my anxiety over K’s full blown fever.

Goan Diary – II – “I am sorry….. You are Indian”

The arch that welcomed us to goa, was a mirage…… we still drove around….round and round….. for more than 3 hours before we managed to find our hotel……I was falling asleep, sandwiched on the back seat of the car, between amma and C my SIL, who had her 20 month old daughter fast asleep in her arms….i didn’t envy her….my SIL, cos I knew her arms were aching from holding the baby for hours like that…..the price one pays for motherhood….i envied Rachel….who really didn’t know that we had been driving around in circles for the last few hours……literally wishing I too could crawl back into my mother’s lap and sleep like a baby…..

When we reached our hotel, I was too sleepy to notice anything but a freshly made queen sized bed….i promptly jumped in after washing up….careful to use tepid water so as to not wake myself up!!

We spent almost the entire next day till late afternoon indoors…..trying to recover from the long drive and prepare the body for the holiday ahead….a friend of mine and seasoned traveler advised me, never to go for the kill on the day you reach your destination….always rest the body well enough to be able to withstand the onslaught of the rest of the holiday!! It is actually the best holiday advise I have ever got!!

Walking down the road in search of cigarettes for K that afternoon after lunch, we were literally accosted, not once, but five times by youths on two wheelers bearing invitations to a party starting at 10.30 that night to celebrate the fifteenth anniversary of a resort….. we accepted the invite from the first guy who prompted us to open the invitation to check what “prize” we’d won ourselves….. it was a boat cruise….we thanked him and said we’d come by….. guy # 2, offered us the same invite, we mentioned we’d already received one and he drove on after bidding us a good day….. guy # 3 rides past, turns around, comes back and invites us to the same party…..when we told him we already had an invitation….he told us to try our luck a second time….. because there were an assortment of prizes and there was no limit on how many you could claim…..tired by this time….. and beginning to be crabby at my hand holding and walking down the lane experience with K was being interrupted again, we accepted the invitation, while I was trying to open it, guy # 3 quizzes K about where he is from, where he is staying, how old are you, etc…..he then asks us if we were NRI’s to which K answered in the negative…..guy # 3 promptly then takes back the half opened invitation from us saying you have to either be an NRI or over 35 to qualify for the party…..apologising that we didn’t make the cut, he rides on….. K smiles…..we walk some more….having bought the cigarettes, with K telling me, that it was a polite way of telling us that the party was only open to foreigners…..preferably the whites….and that this is nothing new…..the last time he was here with his friends, they were denied entry onto certain beaches that were hosting rave parties, with free flowing drugs, because they were indian……then comes guy #4, we give him an update, tell him we have an invite, won a free boat cruise, and didn’t make the cut since we were neither NRI’s nor over 35….. he says that it was wrong on his colleagues part to say this to us…since there is no such rule….and that he would be happy to take us to the resort, and will immediately arrange for a free taxi ride…..we thank him and tell him that we have other plans for the rest of the day, but if we did have the time, we’d surely drop in at the venue after 10.30….. he sheepishly tries to point out that we need to contact him to be able to enter…..and that if we didn’t go with him, we’d not gain entry…..K says we’ll manage to0 find him somehow if we did go….. he then says, if you want to come, you can come now…..in the evening the entry is only for foreigners…..adding as an afterthought………and NRI’s….we say no problem….wish him good luck and continue our stroll…..guy #5 appears in record time….we just say we have an invite thank you…..and walk on……

Goa’s economy subsists on its status as a tourist destination…. But before you think sunny beaches and sand, the reality of the underbelly strikes you……famed coastline notwithstanding, goa is definitely the easiest place for seedier things in india….the whole place waits for the tourist season that begins in October and lasts upto February…… walking down Tito’s lane in baga beach at this time of the year, you will see all the houses that let out rooms to tourists getting a facelift….the shacks that line the stretch of sand from calangute to baga still weren’t set up when we were here…..but they will in just a few weeks…..and then the foreign tourist contingent will arrive….to bring cheer to the economy…..

 while I love goa, have looked forward to this trip, telling K that we should make it a must visit once a year atleast, I found the whole thing annoying…….i wasn’t upset that I didn’t qualify for some vague party at a resort…..i was annoyed that there were certain parts of my own country where I wasn’t welcome……it isnt the first time I have encountered this…..the smiles broaden and behavior gets crisper and more willing to please when the shade of skin lightens….this is the same across this country….. from Leh to Varkala and across the east to West Coast……I’ve seen it in corporate offices, airports and pubs and restaurants…..and it irritates me….that my fellowmen/women want to please me any less than anyone else….especially when I pay the same, for the same service….. I am not prejudiced about colour. Race or nationality…..but to be told I am not good enough to go someplace in my own country because I am indian is possibly the most exasperating experience I’ve ever had……it continues to make me think about how much we love subservience and love to run and fetch…

I digressed…. But this was a fact I couldn’t ignore…..

Goan Diary - I

Life’s been a roller coaster these past few weeks…..wood polish not withstanding!! I think my entire set of friends, acquaintances and anyone else that’s been in contact with me in the past few weeks have gotten a dose of this!!

Amma’s 70^th was on the 23^rd of sept…..instead of doing the thanksgiving prayer meeting followed by a meal with the multitude of people that we’re related to, we decided to go on a family holiday….. when I sounded the idea off my brother, he was maha excited……he would be anyways, because this means, he gets to drive the hundreds of kilometers to and from our chosen destination!! That gets him higher than any kind of intoxicant…..plans were made and off we went…..

Oh but pending the trip, we tried to hasten the work going on at home for the library……we needn’t have bothered anyways….since it didn’t get done…… we tried our damnest best though…staying up the morning of our 8 a.m flight to Bangalore…..all we ended up with, was a messy house, furniture covered with sheets and the strongest smell of wood polish…..making eyes water and the nose burn!!

After just a day in bangalore, the entire gumbal, with enough luggage to keep us well taken care of for the rest of the year, we set off to goa……

The drive….was beautiful….. we took the route that goes to goa via karwar…… the rains really wash the earth and the weeks that follow cover her with the most beautiful shades of green…..the foliage as you drive through, is all green….. different shades…..all of it so beautiful that you catch your breath and forget to breath at times…..whats more? It even makes you forget the bad patches of road……we drove past paddy fields, corn fields, sunflowers and jowar and bajra…..the lakes, ponds and puddles of water full of lilies….some in bloom, the others waiting to get to the party…..butterflies everywhere…any shade you can think of and of so many sizes……living in the city, I can’t remember the last time I saw so many butterflies….and from so close….but the way they flit from flower to flower, I couldn’t get any pictures…..ferns and tall grasses make an appearance as you drive climbing the western ghats……rivulets and tiny water falls from secret water sources……the fifteen hour journey didn’t seem long…..more so because all of us were excitedly looking forward to the holiday…. When we finally got to the arch that welcomed us to goa, we were so ecstatic…..

trip part II - maldives

i have two choices.....either i copy paste the whole thing i wrote for the other blog here and painstakingly upload all the pics again..... or i simply link up..... am doing the second one.... the whole story...be warned it is a really long post............

Trip part I…….Kochi…..meeting a food blogger and aqua delusions!!

It was Saturday, officially the day I was waiting for ever since valentine's day (since we planned it that day…) ….imagine the bombshell when K tells me bright and early that he "had to go to office for some earth and life shattering meetings" I was flabbergasted …. And also a tad bit annoyed…I mean didn't he ? then why this at the last minute?? Anyways…supportive wife that I am, is said please go….so we postpone our flight for later that day and I was left to lock up the house and pack….. oh I must add that it began with giving clothes to the dhobi for ironing!! In between all of this, I managed to finish and hitch a ride with a friend who offered very generously to drop me at the airport…..i'd warned K that if he didn't turn up at the appointed hour at the airport, I'd simply leave with the first hot guy I spotted at the airport…..anyways…I was sorely disappointed (;)) to find a beaming K waiting for me at the airport….pretty soon we were airborne….

Cochin I was going back to after a year….last year around the same time K and I went to Varkala and we drove through cochin…stopping for lunch….we reached the place we were staying, freshened up and popped in next door to D's…..my friend from college….as reunions usually are noisy…there were too many things being said at the same time….and god help you if her 3 and a half year old daughter M is around…the little pet will not allow anyone to get a word in sideways!! J her brother who is 13 months old entertains himself and lives comfortably in the shadow of his sister….M wanted to know if Amma and Anu aunty went to school together, how old we were, was I her only friend, and if no then how come she had'nt seen any other of her friends? We decided to catch up the next day as D's hubby had to catch a train…..

Our tenth floor service apartment had a fabulous view of the backwaters along which it is located…so K and I sat in the balcony talking under the stars and faint nightly noises….what I noticed this time is that usually when you drive along Kerala, the single most reinforced imagery encountered is that of hoardings announcing the million jewelery stores…all the way from pallakkad to Trivandrum….this time I noticed that the love for bling has given way to mammoth real estate advertisements…..there are as many boards as there are projects…each one promising you the home of your dreams to a little place of heaven and even an "address you can finally be proud of" …no I didn't make that up…villas, apartments, condos, water facing bungalows, backwater apartments…..you name the kind of abode, and they all seem to be custom made Kerala style…..

Next morning…bright and early a phone call woke me up…apparently, alarmed at the impending departure of us without partaking of a meal at D's household, aunty decided to have us over for breakfast…..with our plans so fluid….we had told the family the previous evening that we'd leave on Sunday night so as to not risk not being able to make it on time to catch our flight to Male from Trivandrum….aunty had planned to host lunch for us …. But that became breakfast……so much the better cos after gorging on all that fabulous breakfast….i couldn't have slept a wink had I agreed to dinner!! A colossal table filled with puttu, payar, egg roast, vada sambhar, pazham (carmelised) and stew awaited us…..to say that we had a wonderful breakfast is the understatement of the moment!!

Uncle and aunty went off to celebrate the 80^th birthday of a friend, K who was totally in love with M by this time…smitten…spent time entertaining her, playing with her and making her feel like supergirl….because he kept throwing her up in the air and generally doing whatever she wanted….the whole room was filled with shrieks that only little girls can let out!! All this din while D and I tried to catch up…..

We had such a packed day and I really looked forward to the evening because I was to meet Aparna…a fellow blogger….she came with her daughter, a delightful young lady who thankfully for today's generation lists reading and books as her favourites!! A few days earlier, while chatting online, I'd mentioned to A that we may be related for all you know cos both our husbands had the same surname and came from the same region of Palakkad in Kerala….imagine our shock…and subsequent bizarre delight when it turns out that they share the same family name, come from the same ancestral village and their houses were 4 doors or something like that apart!! Infact when her husband came by to pick them up, we got Appa on the phone who was more than intrigued by this uncanny meeting!! Food blogging sure has its surprises!! Aparna came bearing a gift like a true blue food blogger….some fabulous chocolate and walnut brownies / muffins….which we had some and took the rest to devour in Maldives……

Lots of debates and deliberations later, we decided to fly from cochin to Tvdm as we found a later in the night flight……..After such an action packed two days, we didn't want to over sleep and rick not being able to catch the early morning train…..so off we went to Tvdm…checked into the ginger hotel by the tata's which I was so impressed with….and slept a lovely fitful sleep full of aquamarine dreams………. Ah bliss!!

Totally excited!!

Totally excited has been my signature line on my chat id ever since V day…..loads of friends…..intrigued by what the excitement is all about stopped by to ask…..those of them expecting some confirmation of procreation in the process were a tad bit disappointed ;) …..i've blogged about why I am totally excited here already….. so finally after all this wait and some major running about to fix things before we leave for a week's vacation, I am a little relieved that the 1^st of march is finally here!! The last week has been a haze of work work and nothing but more of it…..am happy to bits to be taking this break….first of all I stop by at cochin for a couple of days where I get to spend time with D….we were in college together …. And being in a hostel sort of makes you the kind of friends that last a lifetime….we've shared happiness and heartbreak…success and sorrow…..but living on either side of the Atlantic isn't the most conducive thing…..D dropped by hyderabad earlier this year…and now on the last leg of her vacation in India, I wanted to get some more time with her….hence the trip to god's own country….. a pleasant occurrence all thanks to blogging has also happened…something that I am looking forward to…..i get to meet a fellow food blogger!! Its adding so much excitement to today's trip…… A and I have exchanged notes briefly……she asked me some questions on chocolate making and we were chatting online….then I told her I would be in her part of the country on the weekend…and we decided to meet over coffee…..oh what fun!! This is the first time that I would be meeting a fellow food blogger…so I am much looking forward to this……I don't expect K to even get half a phrase in sideways!! He will have two foodie enthusiasts to deal with………the last leg of this trip will kick it into a different league….K surprised me with a trip to Maldives….so we leave from cochin on the 3^rd for a 4 day vacation in maldives……more on that when I am back!! Please be patient to deal with a giddy headed person!! And pardon me if I am being totally OTT!! Ciao…………

Cant wait!!

Two things that have excited me the most this past few weeks….. my impending holiday….. and my weight (yes I get excited when it comes down!!)!!

First things first I finally have a passport!! Hurrah!! Double hurrah!! I found every excuse in the book so far……I didn't have a passport sized foto…was too fat to take one….hadn't threaded my eyebrows….didn't have on a good top……..didn't find a good photographer….. Didn't know where to take one….the list is endless…. If I could make up excuses for 5 years imagine how creative I am!! The real things that were acceptable as excuses were the fact that I had no document to show as proof of identity and address…. So the sheepish admission that I didn't have a passport continued for many years…. till suddenly K was supposed to take a foreign trip for work, and said he'd take me along and post his completion of work, we'd take a break and take in a holiday…so I went into overdrive…guess how long it took after I applied?? 5 days!! all of that…!! I applied through tatkal…hence the quick processing!! But I made an event of it…..!! so celebrate that and a belated valentine's day K surprised me with a trip to Maldives (isn't he the bestest??) !! We leave on the 3^rd of march……….I cant wait to get there….the pictures of the resort we're staying at are beyond words……..

The next is that I have managed to lose 5 kilos and am closer to my ideal weight than ever!! Just another 5 to go….its the first time in 3 years that I have been able to do this…yes I did go on a diet…and no it wasn't one of those "starve till you collapse" ones…. This one is my own concection…..it also means that in the last 4 weeks I have eaten rice only 3 times (sigh!!) but anything for reducing my girth….. since it has all happened in 4 weeks, my friends have exclaimed in disbelief!! If there is one thing that pleases someone more than diamonds (albeit an overweight someone) it is to be told that they have lost weight / look thinner………….

So there you have it……two things that have given me more excitement than anything else these past few weeks!! If you catch me grinning…you know now why!!