power or the illusion of it

YSR perished in a helicopter accident. sometime day before yesterday. it took more than 24 hrs to locate the wreckage and declare that there aren't any survivors. the State went into mourning and tho everyone expected mayhem on the streets owing also to the ganesh immersion which is usually a security nightmare, everything seemed to be ok. the political lobbying to install his son as the next CM has begun fullscale....

the man who had a strangle hold on the state and no succession plan (other than aspirations for his son) has left everyone completely shocked. its one thing to have everything under control.... its another thing that the next 100 people under you have no clue what they should do next.

while the media circus goes on, i think of a few things people may call inconsequential..... the mightiest, most charismatic, powerful guy went missing and no one had any clue for hours together of the whereabouts. in this day and age of technological advancements, this is pretty shocking. as a country we have no contingency plans, no process or drills for emergencies, no one knows who is in control, i wonder if anyone is. Crowds in india are a nightmare. Add to this a few hundered television camera crews and the nightmare becomes a walt disney scale 3 D gargantuan shinding.

the family didn't have the time to mourn. they didn't even get their few minutes with their loved one or whatever remained of him. they've had to hide their sorrow and put on a brave public show. this is the lot of all people in public offices. is this what they sign up for the day they choose this space?

the circus now has turned full circle. i wrote this 2 days ago and yesterday was horrified to see the images of the total chaos at the funeral. many a times it was a miracle that his coffin didnt just fall on the ground. people are firmly rooting for his son to be installed as the next CM. i wonder how far this movie will play out... just need to wait and watch. they're anyways going to put up a grand show.

what next?

we're so quick to blame everyone but ourselves..... every one else owes us explanations and apologies.... then why do we get pissed off when we're delayed / detained for a security check at malls/ theatres/ airports etc ? how many times havent we used the "do you know who i am?" bit to get out of situations we think are questioning our self inportance? how many of us are willing to "pay" to get work done, big or small? its no wonder then that they could have bribed their way through while enterring the country.....

are we done with all the celebrities who are no experts on matters of security / disaster management/ governance? there was one with 6 celebrities and one ex cop....and they never allowed the cop to answer anything or make any point...when he'd have had more things of objective knowledge than any of them.... i am not a snob... i am not saying these celebs shouldnt be on panels.... but by just getting them, arent we trivialising the whole thing? not really wanting to explore some ideas at the end of the panel discussion?

why are we just going overboard trying to pin the blame on the politicians?? yes we elected them and yes they damn well be answerable.... but by making them the "cause" of this disaster.....arent we sending out a clear signal that we are loving this name calling and blame games rather than sitting down to take action.... to make some foolproof action plans that dont remain in name alone? or do we play the "i want answers"...."how could this happen" outrage to empty us of all our anger so that there's none left to channelise constructively??

this whole thing has made me so scared....scared for my life and the ones dear to me....with all the images of blood and gore and possible and impossible real and imagined and quite possible terror attacks, i sleep so uneasy each night....holding onto K for dear life and not wanting to be alone.... if this can do this to me.... just imagine what it would be like for the people who actually lived through all this and or lost someone they know?

while the media did a good job of keeping us informed.....they need not have fed us the blow by blow details... i am sure the terror outfits benefitted a lit out of it all.... they held out for more than 56 hrs... some inputs from the relentless news coverage must have helped them....now,  i am totally appalled now at how they've made advertisements about their "live coverage" of the mumbai terror.... really... is this needed? and why did they have to zoom in on the faces of the dead heroes lying in their coffins? 

at the end of all of this, i am glad this ordeal is over. yet i am not quite sure it is going to be the last disaster we will deal with. its now time to take action. to give shape in a lasting, concrete manner to all the ideal ideas that we have and make something solid out of it....we need to work out a solution that works for us all.... and we need to do this without wasting any more time.

the aftermath....

its been a full day after the seige in bombay has ended....atleast the worst of it anyway....i havent been able to do anything other than catch some glimpes on tv....read the papers.....and hope and pray that this will be the last that we see of this kind of terror .....

my heartfelt condolences to those who lost their lives.... in the line of duty ...and victims of circumstances....words mean nothing i know.... but that's all i seem to have right now.... i hope we always remember thier supreme sacrifice.... 

i am in deep gratitude of the men who defended and protected us....the Marcos, the NSG commandos, the RAF, the firefighters, the cops.... who showed us what they were made of....of what they are capable of and just fought on to uphold peace ..... i will not make a single joke about the armed forces anymore.... i will not crib about paying taxes...... if the bulk of it goes to finance the cushy lifestyles of the obese system, i will hope, that some part trickles to these men of valour who i know will defend my life.....

in  the staff of the hotels and ordinary people who showed amazing courage.... i dont know what i would have done...its a hypothetical situation....and i wont trivialise it by trying to suppose....it isnt easy...that much i know....while the live telecast on TV made it look like an action packed movie....the reality i far far from that.... to be crouched for hours.... sometimes hiding under corpses....biting on fear....in darkness....not knowing what will happen next....huddled together....even scared that the sound of the breath that you draw may be too much noise and put you closer to death.....of not knowing if you will be alive or dead....it isnt the things life is made up of....it is terrifying to put it mildly....and yet....in these circumstances, some men and women, put the lives of others before their own.....some of them live to tell the tale...some of them wont.....

i cant believe the news channels behaved the way they did....what began as breaking news....became peddaling of the "exclusive shots", exclusive footage and exclusive macabre that they had....each one trying to out do the other.... giving running commentaries when the commandos were being airdropped.....isnt that too much information being given to us? can that not be used by the very same people who planned this to the last detail that brought us to our knees? why didnt they shut up? or use better judgement?

each news anchor, goading the reporters onsite to get more and more exclusive sound bites....i wonder what kinds of sources they have......each one getting hoarser by the minutes.... more gore....the more blood and destruction, the more excited they got....i dont know if that was a good thing or bad.... i was just numb......

there are more questions.....how and why did the intelligence fail...collectively we have failed as a nation.... we either didnt know what the hell was happening....or we didnt pay heed.....what is the plan forward? is there going to be any concrete action taken, or is this too going to be milked for what its worth and then be forgotten?

one thing is obvious to me....we arent dignified even in our times of absolute destruction...our politicians land up with bags of money, to pay for the dead....they hold press conferences on the site where battle rages on, not caring for the complications in security they are causing.....they make irresponsible statements and shift the blame... and our people.... well what can i say...they resort to sloganeering.... they crowd behind reporters to come into the frame....i saw one man dressed as sachin tendulkar standing behind the reporter at the funeral of slain ATS top cop karkare....we want a good tamasha.....dont we care that we are contributing to a security nightmare....that the last thing we needed at nariman house, was thousands of people watching like it was film shooting.......there was an ocean of people there.....they couldnt even move the trucks and ambulances if a bomb fell right on them....and everyone seemed to be standing around....how and why did the authorities allow people to come so close to the site?? when will we learn??

there are so many things going through my head right now.... i have to stop ....

i just wish hope and peace to us all.....

mind numbed......

40 hours and counting…. Warzone Mumbai ….Mumbai carnaged…ravaged Mumbai…….Exclusive television footage has brought the terror right into our homes…exclusive coverage that served us blood for breakfast…..I sit glued to the TV for hours….watching as people are trying to make sense of it all….i cannot believe that this is all happening….in front of our eyes….people desperate to be safe….waving from their rooms in the Taj and Oberoi….holed up…not knowing what would happen next….the scores of security personnel…..policemen, firefighters, Army men, NSG commandos and Marcos…..the last two groups of men said to be among the best in the business……all of them doing what they can to “flush out the militants”, “minimize civilian casualities” and make us feel safe again….At least 125 have been killed in the Mumbai encounter, including 14 policemen and six foreigners and 327 people have been injured.  And this is the official estimate………

Some thoughts going through my mind right now

Chef Banja, who shared our church bench for 4 yrs, has died. He was an Executive Chef at the Taj and was shot at in the kitchen……I can’t believe this….it somehow brings all of it closer….

When will we realize that this is a real time war situation and this is urban warfare? That it needs to be dealt with the severity and seriousness….much more than we are doing right now?

How many more people should lose their lives and how many more attacks like this should happen before we appear to take measures to send a clear message that we are not a soft target anymore? When will be associate a little more value to the life of a citizen that has been lost?

Why was there such a time lag in bringing in our top trained commandos? Were they stuck in bureaucratic red tape?

Why am I paying taxes for the bills of politicians and bureaucrats instead of buying better equipment and training for cops and soldiers?

How did the guys just jump into a speedboat and land up at the gateway……isn’t this checked at any point of time? Where are the intelligence reports?

Why are the reporters and journalists the ones asking questions on policy and a way forward? Isn’t this the job of the people who govern us to do this?

Isn’t it the duty of the government to provide a secure place for its citizens?

I’ve just refreshed my newsfeed, and as of 11.48 a.m there is fresh gunbattle going on at the Taj, earlier this morning, this was supposed to be secure and handed over to the police….what is happening? Gag orders have been given to the media as it is believed the terrorists are getting access to the movements of the commandos….WTF!!

I am quite numbed by all of this….i don’t wish to conclude….i don’t know what to conclude with…. Hope maybe a good place to start…..and my prayers are for all the warriors who are helping us tackle this as best as they can.